Tom Waits Album

liar liar with your pants on fire, white spades hangin' on the telephone
wire, gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line, you'll never recognize
yourself on heartattack and vine.

doctor lawyer beggar man thief, philly joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,
if you want a taste of madness, you'll have to wait in line, you'll probably
see someone you know on heartattack and vine.

boney's high on china white, shorty found a punk, don't you know there ain't
no devil, there's just god when he's drunk, well this stuff will probably kill
you, let's do another line, what you say you meet me down on heartattack and
vine.

see that little jersey girl in the see-through top, with the peddle pushers
sucking on a soda pop, well i bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-
five 'til nine, you can see a million of 'em on heartattack and vine.

better off in iowa against your scrambled eggs, than crawling down cahuenga
on a broken pair of legs, you'll find your ignorance is blissful every goddamn
time, your're waitin' for the rtd on heartattack and vine.

nighthawks at the diner
of Emma's 49er, there's a rendezvous
of strangers around the coffee urn tonight
all the gypsy hacks, the insomniacs
now the paper's been read
now the waitress said

CHORUS
eggs and sausage and a side of toast
coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy
chile in a bowl with burgers and fries
what kind of pie?

In a graveyard charade, a late shift masquerade
2 for a quarter, dime for a dance
with Woolworth rhinestone diamond
earrings, and a sideway's glance
and now the register rings
and now the waitress sings

CHORUS

the classified section offered no direction
it's a cold caffeine in a nicotine cloud
now the touch of your fingers
lingers burning in my memory
I've been 86ed from your scheme
I'm in a melodramatic nocturnal scene
I'm a refugee from a disconcerted affair
as the lead pipe morning falls
and the waitress calls

CHORUS

hey sight for sore eyes it's a long time no see
workin hard hardly workin hey man you know me
water under the bridge didya see my new car
well it's bought and it's payed for parked outside of the bar

and hey barkeeper what's keepin you keep pourin drinks
for all these palookas hey you know what i thinks
that we toast to the old days and dimagio too
and old drysdale and mantle whitey ford and to you

no the old gang ain't around everyone has left town
'cept for thumm and giardina said they just might be down
oh half drunk all the time and i'm all drunk the rest
yea monk's till the champion but i'm the best

i guess you heard about nash he was killed in a crash
hell that must of been two or three years ago now
yea he spun out and he rolled he hit a telephone pole
and he died with the radio on
no she's married and with a kid finally split up with sid
he's up north for a nickle's worth for armed robbery

hey i'll play you some pin ball hell you ain't got a chance
well then go on over and ask her to dance

well i come in on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
and i busted up a chifforobe
way out by the cocomo
cooked up a mess a mulligan
and got into a fight

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyes jack

you probably seen me sleepin'
out by the railroad tracks
go on and ask the prince of darkness
what about all thet smoke
come from the stack
sometimes i kill myself a jackel
suck out all the blood
steal myself a stationwagon
drivin' through the mud
whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

i know you seen my headlights
and the honkin' of my horn
i'm callin' out my bloodhounds
chase the devil through the corn
last night i chugged the mississippi
now that suckers dry as a bone
born in a taxi cab
i'm never comin' home

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

myeyes have seen the glory
of the drainin' og the ditch
i only come to baton rouge
to find myself a witch
i'm-ona snatch me up a
couple of em every time itrains
you see a locomotive
probably thinkin' its a train

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

what you think is the sunshine
is just a twinkle in my eye
that ring around my fingers
just the 4th of july
when i get a little bit lonesome
and a tear falls from my check
theres gonna be an ocean in
the middle of the week

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

i rode into town on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
i'm-ona tear me off a rainbow
and wear it for a tie
i never told the truth
so i can never tell a lie

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

Licorice tattoo turned a gun metal blue
Scrawled across the shoulders of a dying town
The one eyed jacks across the railroad tracks
And the scar on its belly pulled a stranger passing through
He was a juvenile delinquent never learned how to behave
But the cops would never think to look in Burma-shave

And the road was like a ribbon
And the moon was like a bone
He didn't seem to be like any guy she'd ever known
He kinda looked like Farley Granger with his hair slicked back
She says I'm a sucker for a fella in a cowboy hat
How far are you going he said depends on what you mean
He says I'm only stopping here to get some gasoline
I guess I'm going that way just as long as it's paved
I guess you'd say I'm on my way to Burma-shave

And with her knees up on the glove compartment
She took out her barrettes
And her hair spilled out like rootbeer
And she popped her gum and arched her back
Hell Marysville ain't nothing but a wide spot in the road
Some nights my heart pounds just like thunder
Don't know why it don't explode
Cause everyone in this stinking town has got one foot in the grave
And i'd rather take my chances out in Burma-shave

Presley's what I go by why don't you change the station
Count the grain elevators in the rearview mirror
She said, Mister anywhere you point this thing
Has got to beat the hell out of the sting
Of going to bed with every dream that dies here every mornin
And so drill me a hole with a barber pole
I'm jumping my parole just like a fugitive tonight
Why don't you have another swig
And pass that car if you're so brave
I wanna get there before the sun comes up in Burma-shave

And the spider web crack and the mustang screamed
Smoke from the tires and the twisted machine
Just a nickel's worth of dreams
And every wishbone that they saved
Lie swindled from them on the way to Burma-shave

And the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow
Up against the car door on the shot gun side
And when they pulled her from the wreck
You know she still had on her shades
They say that dreams are growing wild just this side of Burma-shave

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Well my time went so quickly, I went lickety-splickly out to my old '55
As I drove away slowly, feeling so holy, God knows, I was feeling alive.

Now the sun's coming up, I'm riding with Lady Luck, freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade, and I lead the parade
Just a-wishing I'd stayed a little longer,
Oh, Lord, let me tell you that the feeling's getting stronger.

And it's six in the morning, gave me no warning; I had to be on my way.
Well there's trucks all a-passing me, and the lights are all flashing,
I'm on my way home from your place.

And now the sun's coming up, I'm riding with Lady Luck, freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade, and I lead the parade
Just a-wishing I'd stayed a little longer,
Oh, Lord, let me tell you that the feeling's getting stronger.

And my time went so quickly, I went lickety-splickly out to my old '55
As I pulled away slowly, feeling so holy, God knows, I was feeling alive.

Now the sun's coming up, I'm riding with Lady Luck,
Freeway cars and trucks, freeway cars and trucks, freeway cars and trucks...

stop me if you've heard this one
i feel as though we've met before
perhaps i'm mistaken
but it's just that i remind you
of someone you used to care about
but that was long ago
do you think i'd fall for that
i wasn't born yesterday
besides i never talk to strangers anyway

i ain't a bad guy when you get to know me
i just thought there ain't no harm
hey just try minding your own business
bud who asked you to annoy me
with your sad repartee
besides i never talk to strangers anyway

your life's a dimestore novel
this town is full of guys like you
and you're looking for someone to take the place of her
and you're bitter cause he left you
that's why you're drinkin in this bar
well only suckers fall in love
with perfect strangers

it always takes one to know one stranger
maybe we're just wiser now
and been around the block so many times
that we don't notice
that we're all just perfect strangers
as long as we ignore
that we all begin as strangers
just before we find
we really aren't strangers anymore

i spent all my money in a mexican whorehouse, across the street from a
catholic church, and then i wiped off my revolver, and i buttoned up my
burgundy shirt, i shot the morning in the back, with my red wings on, i told
the sun he'd better go back down, and if i can find a book of matches, i'm
goin' to burn this hotel down.

you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

well i dropped thirty grand on the nugget slots, i had to sell my ass on
fremont street, and the drummer said there's sanctuary, over at the bagdad
room, and now it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready,
and go man go, i said tell me mr. siegel, how do i get out of here.

well willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat, drivin' dangerous curves
across the dirty sheets, he said man you ought to see her, when her parents
are gone, man you ought to hear her when the siren's on.

you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

don't you know that ain't no broken bottle, that i picked up in my
headlights, on the other side of the nevada line, where they live hard die
young, and have a good lookin' corpse every time, well the pit-boss said i
should keep movin', this is where you go when you die, and so i shot a black
beauty, and i kissed her right between the eyes.

well willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat, drivin' dangerous curves
across the dirty sheets, he said when the bitch is wound up, and her parents
are gone, man you ought to hear her with the siren on.
you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

got no time for the corner boys, down in the street makin' all that noise,
don't want no whores on eighth avenue, cause tonight i'm gonna be with you.

cause tonight i'm gonna take that ride, across the river to the jersey side,
take my baby to the carnival, and i'll take you on all the rides, sing sha la
la la la la sha la la la.

down the shore everything's alright, you with your baby on a saturday night,
don't you know that all my dreams come true, when i'm walkin' down the street
with you, sing sha la la la la la sha la la la.

you know she thrills me with all her charms, when i'm wrapped up in my
baby's arms, my little angel gives me everything, i know someday that she'll
wear my ring.

so don't bother me cause i got no time, i'm on my way to see that girl of
mine, nothin' else matters in this whole wide world, when you're in love with
a jersey girl, sing sha la la la la la la.

and i call your name, i can't sleep at night, sha la la la la la la.

hey Charley I'm pregnant
and living on 9-th street
right above a dirty bookstore
off cuclid avenue
and I stopped taking dope
and I quit drinking whiskey
and my old man plays the trombone
and works out at the track.

and he says that he loves me
even though its not his baby
and he says that he'll raise him up
like he would his own son
and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday nite.

and hey Charley I think about you
everytime I pass a fillin' station
on account of all the grease
you used to wear in your hair
and I still have that record
of little anthony & the imperials
but someone stole my record player
how do you like that?

hey Charley I almost went crazy
after mario got busted
so I went back to omaha to
live with my folks
but everyone I used to know
was either dead or in prison
so I came back in minneapolis
this time I think I'm gonna stay.

hey Charley I think I'm happy
for the first time since my accident
and I wish I had all the money
that we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot
and I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car
every day dependin on how
I feel.

hey Charley
for chrissakes
do you want to know
the truth of it?
I don't have a husband
he don't play the trombone
and I need to borrow money
to pay this lawyer
and Charley, hey
I'll be eligible for parole
come valentines day.

She sends me blue valentines
all the way from philadelphia
to mark the anniversary
of someone that I used to be
and it feels just like there's
a warrant out for my arrest
got me checkin' in my rearview mirrror
and I'm always on the run
thats why I change my name
and I didn't think you'd ever find me here

to send me blue valentines
like half forgotten dreams
like a pebble in my shoe
as I walk these streets
and the ghost of your memory
is the thistle in the kiss
and the burgler that that can break a roses neck
it's the tattooed broken promise
that I hide beneath my sleeve
and I see you every time I turn my back

she sends me blue valentines
though I try to remain at large
they're insisting that our love
must have a culogy
why do I save all of this madness
in the nightstand drawer
there to haunt upon my shoulders
baby I know
I'd be luckier to walk around everywhere I go
with a blind and broken heart
that sleeps beneath my lapel

she sends me blue valentines
to remind me of my cardinal sin
I can never wash the guilt
or get these bloodstains off my hands
and it takes a lot of whiskey
to make these nightmares go away
and I cut my bleedin' heart out every nite
and I die a little more on each st. valentine day
remember that I promised I would
write you...
these blue valentines
blue valentines
blue valentines

Well you gassed her up
Behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrelin' down the boulevard
You're looking for the heart of Saturday night

And you got paid on Friday
And your pockets are jinglin'
And you see the lights
You get all tinglin' cause you're cruisin' with a 6
And you're looking for the heart of Saturday night

Then you comb your hair
Shave your face
Tryin' to wipe out ev'ry trace
All the other days
In the week you know that this'll be the Saturday
You're reachin' your peak

Stoppin' on the red
You're goin' on the green
'Cause tonight'll be like nothin'
You've ever seen
And you're barrelin' down the boulevard
Lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Tell me is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
Is it the barmaid that's smilin' from the corner of her eye?
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of quiver down in the core
'Cause you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
And now you're stumblin'
You're stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night

Well you gassed her up
And you're behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrellin' down the boulevard,
You're lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
And the barmaid is smilin' from the corner of her eye
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of special down in the core
And you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
It's found you stumblin'
Stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night
And you're stumblin'
Stumblin onto the heart of Saturday night

muriel since you left town the clubs closed down
and there's one more burned out lamppost down on the main street
down where we used to stroll
and muriel i still hit all the same old haunts
and you follow me wherever i go
and muriel i see you on a saturday night
in a penny arcade with your hair tied back
and the diamond twinkle in your eye
is the only wedding ring i'll buy you
muriel

and muriel how many times i've left this town
to hide from your memory
and it haunts me
but i only get as far as the next whiskey bar
i buy another cheap cigar and i'll see you every night
hey muriel muriel
hey buddy got a light

put a dead cat on the railraod tracks
when the wolf bains blooming by the tressel
and get the eyeball of a rooster
and the stones from a ditch
and wash em down with bilge water
and say you'll never snitch
take the buttons from a yellow jacket
the feather from a buzzard
and the blood from the bounty hunters cold black heart
catch the tears of a window
in a thimble made ofglass
tell your mamaand your papa
theycan kiss your ass
poison all the water in the wishin' well
and hang all them scarecrows from a sycamore tree
burn down all those honeymoons
put em in a pillow case
and wait next to the switch blades at the amusements park for me
strangle all the cristmas carols
scratch out all you prayers
tie em up with barbed wire
and push them down the stairs
and i'll whittle you a pistol
for reepin' nightmares off the blinds
those sunsabitches always seem to sneak up from behind
syphom all the gas from your daddys pickup truck
fill up jonnys t bird
i got a couple bucks
put on little perfume and ribbon in your hair
careful that you don't wake up the hounds
tear a bolt of lightning
off the side of the sky
and throw in the cedar chest
if you want me to tell you why
bring the gear shift knob from a 49 mere
and lay down here beside me
let me hold you in the dirt
and you'll tremble as the flames
tear the throat out of the night
sink your teeth into my shoulder
dig your nails into my back
tell that lettle girl to let go of my sleeve
you'll be awoman when i catch you
as you faqll in love with me

then with my double barrel shotgun
and a whole box of shells
we'll celebrate the 4 of july
we'll do 100 mph
spendin' someone elses dough
and we'll drive all the way to reno
on the wrong side of the road

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did, I've got what I paid for now
See you tomorrow, hey Frank, can I borrow a couple of bucks from you
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
And I'm tired of all these soldiers here
No one speaks English, and everything's broken, and my Stacys are soaking wet
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking
A lot they can do for me
I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open,
And I'm down on my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you'd bury the dagger
In your silhouette window light
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her
And the one-armed bandit knows
And the maverick Chinamen, and the cold-blooded signs,
And the girls down by the strip-tease shows, go
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

No, I don't want your sympathy, the fugitives say
That the streets aren't for dreaming now
And manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories,
They want a piece of the action anyhow
Go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

And you can ask any sailor, and the keys from the jailor,
And the old men in wheelchairs know
And Matilda's the defendant, she killed about a hundred,
And she follows wherever you may go
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll go waltzing Matilda with me

And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace,
And a wound that will never heal
No prima donna, the perfume is on an
Old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers, the night watchmen flame keepers
And goodnight to Matilda, too