The Vandals Album

Well we finished up the record and we think that it's the shit-and we want it to go huge, but to play it off legit. And the guy in A&R's got the CD in his car and he thinks track 4 and 6 are contenders Put the play lists are so tight that we gotta do it right But he's getting a good feeling so we're gonna take a meeting with the radio promo and the marketing Homo's to see if we can get a green light.
So we waited by the phone and they finally let us know that the label is
Quote "Really excited"

CHORUS:
This could be the big one, time to celebrate perhaps.
Our fate is in the hands of strangers-
Going gold- or down the hole- you can kiss my ass!

So we got a couple stations, we're in medium rotation
but the P.D. isn't sure if the single's gonna work
'cause he's gotta play The Cure and The Psychedelic Furs
for the 80's flashback weekend
And our ad's are in the trades, and a video got made
and it cost a hundred grand, but we never got it played
and we're trying to hit the road, but the agent doesn't know
if there's enough in the budget for tour support
So we're playing local clubs, and we're trying to get a "buzz"
and we got a good review in "Music Connection"

CHORUS:


This could be the big one, time to celebrate perhaps.
Our fate is in the hands of strangers-
Going gold- or down the hole- you can kiss my ass!

In a last ditch effort to rally up the troops
we ignored our last statement- 7 figures unrecouped
'cause we're in it for the art, but we'd like to see if chart
in the billboard "top one thousand"
And we gave it our best shot, but the label says we're dropped
and the drummer quit the band, and he's working for his dad
So we're doing auditions -

CHORUS: X2

This could be the big one, time to celebrate perhaps.
Our fate is in the hands of strangers-
Going gold or down the hole- you can kiss my ass!

Well, you came into this world naked, screaming and covered in blood-who was there to wipe you off and give you your first hug?
And it took a couple years to figure out how to not shit in your pants
but someone was there to clean you up and powder off your rash
It's been them from the start, the ones you tortured and broke their hearts
the two that you hate- the two that you blame- the very same ones that
gave you your name

Remember the time you were five and you lied about who broke your lamp?
Who were the ones that sat you down and gave you a second chance?
It's been them from the start, the ones you tortured and broke their hearts
the two that you hate- the two that you blame- the very same ones that
gave you your name

CHORUS:
Go home to Mom and Dad and say you're sorry, It's the least that you can do, after all you've put them through. Oh, come on. Beg Mom and Dad's forgiveness, they deserve it.
Even if you don't mean it, make them believe you that it's true.
And when they offered you up all that great advise, you just screamed "F**k you, both- and let me live my life! I'm gonna go out drinking with my friends have unprotected sex, pierce my nose and get a tattoo of a dragon on my neck!"


CHORUS:
Call Mom and Dad and finally say you're sorry, It's the least that you can do, after all you've put them through. Oh, come on. Beg Mom and Dad's forgiveness, they deserve it.
Even if you don't mean it, make them believe you that it's true.
'cause now your 35 and working in a warehouse 'cause you spent your college money on cocaine.
And the shame of your existence is ever so persistent 'cause you know your
parents tried
and you're to blame- you're to blame, 'cause

It's been the from the start, the ones you tortured and broke their hearts
the two that you hate- the two that you blame- the very same ones that
gave you your name

CHORUS:
Go home to Mom and Dad and say your sorry, It's the least that you can do, after all you've put them through. Oh, come on. Beg Mom and Dad's forgiveness, they deserve it.
Even if you don't mean it, make them believe you that it's true

I think I got a plan, we're gonna make a stand-
Let's Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go! go!
Stand up and be counted, get out of the house
Take it to the streets, tell everyone you meet
It's Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go! go!
Time to get what's yours. Kick down all the doors

We'll start tomorrow, or maybe tuesday
Tear down the walls and show no f**king mercy
Next week is good for me
We'll make them f**king see
got follow though, initiative and skills to make a change!

CHORUS:
The time has almost come, Stand up and be someone Finish up with dinner, and join up with the winners I mean for real this time, at least just kind of try When I say "Go" you say "Go" Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go!
We gotta think it through, I know what we should do Let's Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Wait right here for now, until we figure how.
To overthrow the land, and finish our demands
and Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go! go!


End all our repression, and teach the man a lesson

Let's talk it through again, and call up all our friends
together unified- is unity united
then it's decided we will fight....soon

CHORUS:
The time has almost come, Stand up and be someone Finish up with dinner, and join up with the winners I mean for real this time, at least just kind of try When I say "Go" you say "Go" Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go!
We'll start tomorrow, or maybe tuesday
Tear down the walls and show no f**king mercy
Next week is good for me
So let's just wait and see
There can't be an attack until we know we've got a plan!

CHORUS:
The time has almost come, Stand up and be someone Finish up with dinner, and join up with the winners I mean for real this time, at least just kind of try When I say "Go" you say "Go" Go! go! Go! go! Go! go! Go!

Now you say that you like me, but you don't "like" like me.
And you say that you love me but you're not "in" love with me
And we should just be friends...
but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that...
you're not too friendly when you act like that.

Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone.
I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says you're not home

Whatever happened to that girl I knew, she was just like you...
- but was way more into me.
Lately you've been acting strange, or going through a phase Why's it gotta be like that?
The old you dug me, but the new you snubs me, and asks me to go away
but I ain't going away-

Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone.
I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says "you're not home"

I've been so patient and I'm giving you space
I haven't called all day, but you're still not coming around
You've made a big mistake- that's not a threat
no matter how it sounds

Things were going so great, but as of late
you haven't much to say


The old you loved me, but the new you snubs me, and asks me to go away
but I ain't going away-

Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone.
I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says you're not home

Well now you say that you like me, but you don't "like" like me.
And you say that you love me but you're not "in" love with me
And we should just be friends- but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that
you're not too friendly when you act like that. Should I smash your f**king head
with a baseball bat? And dig around the brains and goo
for something that looks lie old you-

Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone.
I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says "you're not home"
you say that you love me, but you're not in love with me....

Children are lovely before they get ugly, and learn to do bad stuff.
Flowers are pretty before they get shitty, and rot and turn to dust
I heard that life is a wheel and you can't make it stop
If you try it'll flatten your head
It's a circle of shit we're in the middle of it
but soon we'll all be dead

Like everybody else that ever lived before, the things you make fall to the floor
and nobody knows how hard you tried, it's been that way since the start of time-
There was a caveman that did some amazing things
but nobody here gives a f**k
And in a thousand years they'll feel the same
towards all the things you've done

CHORUS:
So don't worry what might give you cancer-
or stay up nights just wanting answers
Its just a crap shoot, but it's mostly crap
things start off they're so terrific
they'll f**k up it's scientific
Entropy, uncertainty won't yield to you

Love at first sight on a beautiful night and a feeling so divine
gets sucked down the toilet 'cause something will spoil it
with the good times left behind you
Don't try to figure out who's at fault
powerful forces abound
like a twig on a river in the universe


tomorrow you'll probably drown

CHORUS:
So don't worry if it is a tumor -
all this will be over sooner
Its just a crap shoot, but it's mostly crap
things start off they're so terrific
they'll f**k up it's scientific
Entropy, uncertainty won't yield to you or you

And all the things that matter most
disappear, here's a toast
to erosion and corrosion, Altimzers and pain

Don't try to figure out who's at fault
there's powerful forces at play
and if you lose your legs and have to beg
it's really all the same

CHORUS:
So don't worry what might give you cancer-
or stay up nights just wanting answers
Its just a crap shoot, but it's mostly crap
things start off they're so terrific
they'll f**k up it's scientific
Entropy, uncertainty won't yield to you, or you

You're on tour, I'm alone
Wonder just what you did with your phone
Try usin' it, I'm losin' it
(I) never thought I'd lose you this way

Quit the band, Get off stage
Come back home, start acting your age
Look at me, look at us
I just found out I'm not allowed on your bus

"Keep playin'. I'll stay in."
I cant' see myself sayin'
"Keep playin'. I'll stay in. I'll be OK."

Well it was cute at the party at the lake
But haulin' your gear is more than I can take
You said this little band thing wouldn't last
Guess I'm just a jackass

Stuck outside, got no pass
You happy now? You made me feel like an ass
With you up there, and me out here
Some guy told me to stay away from your beer

"Keep playin'. I'll stay in."
I cant' see myself sayin'
"Keep playin'. I'll stay in. I'll be OK."

Well it was cute at the party at the lake
But haulin' your gear is more than I can take
You said this little band thing wouldn't last
Guess I'm just a jackass

Well it was cute at the party at the lake
But haulin' your gear is more than I can take
You said this little band thing wouldn't last

I guess I'm just a big jackass
I guess I'm just a big jackass
I'm a big jackass

Now the birds in the trees are deformed and diseased
and the leaves on the trees are wilting on the branch
there's no stars in the sky, 'cause scars on my eyes won't heal thanks to you-
And the sun is obscured since you told me those words-that you can't be with me,

and you got to be free 'cause your selfish and rude, with a bad attitude-but you can't see.
And what about me?
Oh baby don't, don't, don't, don't do what you think you should do-
Because it won't, won't, won't, won't be what I want it to be to
Repeat after me "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
Repeat after me "It was all my fault again"
"And I will stay, stay, stay, stay right here with you-and I will say, say, say, say whatever you tell me to."
This is me now "You are forgiven"
This is me now "Things are fine again, you see."
It wasn't that hard.
Remember, Remember, Remember, What about me?
Now the sun has arrived, and the birds that all died are alive and revived
and chirping in the branches


'cause you made up your mind, just barley in time
Let's not take any chances-
'cause you're restless again, and you want it to end
but I can't let you leave, 'cause you promised to me
and you'd do what I say, and you said that you'd stay
You said that you'd stay
And what about me?

Oh baby don't, don't, don't, don't do what you think you should do-
Because it won't, won't, won't, won't be what I want it to be to
Repeat after me "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
Repeat after me "I "state your name" love you"
it's the truth you see
Remember, Remember, Remember, What about me?
What about me?

I don't need much attention anymore
Sometimes I cringe at the thought of the things that I did before
And I don't wanna take up all your time
Sometimes I cringe at the thought of being left behind
She said "You're not the boss of me"
And I don't wanna be
Just some guy trying to be something that I'm not

CHORUS
Do you wanna kick it, wit me?
I wanna kick it with you
Do you wanna kick it, wit me?
I wanna kick it with you

Everyone has something for you now


And I know, well I hope that I one be one of the crowd
If you feel that I am out of line
Well I hope that you don't, but I won't wait in line
I have learned not to offer much advice
Who am I? Just a guy, like I know how to run your life
Well I guess I'll tell you who I am
I'm a man with a plan make you say goddamn
She said "You're not the boss of me"
And I don't wanna be
Just some guy trying to be something that I'm not

CHORUS X2
And everybody's got something new to offer you
And all the wonderful things that they can do
I keep it simple- I just wanna kick it wit you

I won't do it- you can't f**king make me do it- I don't wanna- Who are you to say I gottado anything at all man?
You're not the boss of me!You're like "Come on!" I'm like "No, its not my job man, gotta go-spread the word of freedom- to those of them that need it.Who died and made you jerk? Don't tell me to do you're work.It's a democracy, not aristocracy. I mean it literallyYou're not the boss of me!This is mine! Go get your own!Why should I have to give you some of my soda pop, I bought with my own hard earned money?Go ahead, do it yourself. Your arms ain't broke you don't need no help, or deserve it. I'm not your servant.I'll see you later- you f**king dictatorThis ain't a monarchyYou're not the boss of me!You're not the boss of me!'cause I'm the boss of me!You're not the boss of me!'cause I'm the boss of me! Go!
I won't do it, you think you're hot shit man.You're cold turds that hit the fan. That's right!
Who died and made you suck? Boss man you're out of luck.This is a democracy, not aristocracy. I mean it literally, not metaphorically-You're not the boss of me!

I don't wanna- Who are you to say I gottado anything at all man?
You're not the boss of me!You're like "Come on!" I'm like "No, its not my job man, gotta go-spread the word of freedom- to those of them that need it.Who died and made you jerk? Don't tell me to do you're work.It's a democracy, not aristocracy. I mean it literallyYou're not the boss of me!This is mine! Go get your own!Why should I have to give you some of my soda pop, I bought with my own hard earned money?Go ahead, do it yourself. Your arms ain't broke you don't need no help, or deserve it. I'm not your servant.I'll see you later- you f**king dictatorThis ain't a monarchyYou're not the boss of me!You're not the boss of me!'cause I'm the boss of me!You're not the boss of me!'cause I'm the boss of me! Go!
I won't do it, you think you're hot shit man.You're cold turds that hit the fan. That's right!
Who died and made you suck? Boss man you're out of luck.This is a democracy, not aristocracy. I mean it literally, not metaphorically-You're not the boss of me!

I'm awful sorry if she has ruined the night. I'll get her home and out of sight.
That's my girl- the drunkest at the party.
She lost her shoe and found the rum bacardi.
There she goes- she fell down and she's bleeding,
I tried to help, she's kicking and she's screaming

The drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with me- I'm her date I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.
That's my girl, cross-eyed drunk and puking,
She's down again and everybody's looking.

I'll wait till she sobers up, and when she finishin' throwing up I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.

CHORUS:
That's my girl (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
Take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She made a scene (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
She's with me (I can't believe that she's with me)
That's my girl- flirting with your husband


She threw a drink, and screamed she used to f**k him.
I don't mind her getting drunk
but I'm gonna lock her in my trunk,
and take her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.

CHORUS:
I'll Take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She made a scene (get her home, gotta get her ass home)
I'll take her home (do what you can to make her leave)
She's with me (I can't believe that she's with me)
That's My Girl
Bridge
She doesn't always act this way, later on she'll be OK
I apologize for all she's done, go ahead and keep her purse

The drunkest girl, that everyone hates- she with me- I'm her date I'll drive her home (get her home, gotta get her ass home) and leave her lying on her porch.
CHORUS X2

Congratulations, you're in love. The lonely nights are gone.
But now you're making us all sick, the way you're carrying on
Put you're tongue in you're mouth, keep you're hands of her ass It's an embarrassing public display- Have you no sense of shame?
Or get a room, we'll all pitch in- If you'll go away.
A string of spit connects your mouths, I'm trying hard not to look.
And all the endless baby talk, is going to make me puke
I don't care who's the bigger Schmoopy head
I'm hearing you talk and I wish I was dead

oh baby, oh honey, oh pumpkin, oh schnookums, oh babe.


Get a room, I'll pay for it- if you'll go away. Go Away.
Just bring it down a notch or two, you're gathering a crowd And I can tell from over here, you're visibly aroused.
Don't dry hump in restaurants, it's unsanitary and rude now it's dinner and a show, but I just wanted food.
While you're having you're heated session, in the busiest intersection.
Knock it off, now the light is green.
Or get a room- we'll all pitch in, if you'll go away.
Go away. Go away. Go Away. Or break up. Or f**k off. Knock it off.

Most girls
I can't wait for them to leave
And they're giving me the creeps by morning
Most girls
Make noises in their sleep
And I hate to watch them eat, and they're boring
You didn't rat when the lab caught fire
Throughout the Inland Empire
You're my empresses, and I crown you

Most girls
I've been with before are fat and ugly hoes
Compared to you
Most girls
Always think they're right
But they're wrong f**king wrong
But baby you're not like that
You understand me and it's not an act
You're my empresses, and I crown you

CHORUS
I wanna go with you and leave all this behind us
We'll live in San Berdu and sell the place in Cypress
Come on let's do it run away with me honey
We'll put a bunch of babies in your tummy
And fly away…....


Most girls
I'd rather be alone and I can't answer the phone
'cause they're scaring me
Most girls
Get psycho and they're mean and they
always make a scene and they're threatening me
The time apart didn't hurt us
And now I've finished my community service
You're my empresses, and I crown you

CHORUS

Come on let's do it; Run away with me honey
We'll put a bunch of babies in your tummy
And fly away…...
All those years I was just searching
F**k that noise, baby you're perfect
All them mean nothing 'cause I found you
How did you get so awesome?
Let's spend the weekend in Laughlin
You are my empresses, I crown you

Look at me now 'cause I can't you stole my eyes
you broke my cane, you killed my dog
Running around in the black, my whole world's gone black
You turned out the light and said "goodnight"
I can't see anybody.


CHORUS 1
I took you in, you threw me out, I helped you up, you beat me down
I hooked you up, you cut the line, now you're swimming free and I'm
crippled and blind.
Just when I learned to walk you said it wasn't fair, you pushed me
down the stairs, I'm in a wheelchair.
Pushed on my fontanel, I'm in a world of pain, you sqished my brain,
my little baby brain.


CHORUS 2
I took you in, you threw me out, I helped you up, you beat me down
I hooked you up, you cut the line, now you're swimming free and I'm
crippled and blind
I used to wanna dance now I just pee my pants, Everything I wanted
was everything I thought I had. Now I'm just fucking crazy, how dare
you call me baby, just because I wear a diaper and I cry all the time.
Look at me now 'cause I can't you stole my eyes
you broke my cane, you killed my dog. Don't fucking push me!
CHORUS 2

I've watched you grow for all these years
And shamefully admit
I've loved to watch you blossom and it's awful hard to quit
Feeling these feelings stirring up inside of me

You nearly are a woman now and in a couple years
All the rules and boundaries will slowly disappear
Wait now my child until you get a little older
Every new sunrise brings your heart a little closer to me

But I can't make love to you
Because you're fourteen
Just a peck on the cheek
As I'm counting the weeks go by

We can't make love together
Because you're fourteen years old
And the trust of your mom that we're not doing wrong
I just can't betray, today

Just an ounce of patience we can still do things we like
I watch you eat an ice cream cone
And watch you ride your bike
Patiently longing for that future day of truth

I want to hug and kiss you nearly every time I see you
But I don't want the neighborhood to get the wrong idea
There'll come a day when love like ours is not a crime
Just give it time

But I can't make love to you
Because you're fourteen
Just a hug and a sigh
From a law abiding guy tonight

We can't make love together
Because you're fourteen years old
And the trust of your mom that we're not doing wrong
I just can't betray, today

Oh no I can't make love to you
Because you're fourteen
But Just a peck on the cheek
As I'm counting the weeks go by

We can't make love together
Because you're fourteen years old
And the trust of your mom that we're not doing wrong
I just can't betray, today