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Way down in Columbus, Georgia, that's where I don't want to be.
Hey, way down in Columbus stockade. Take me back to Tennessee.
Chorus:
Well, you can take me back to old Kentucky, any place that you decide.
Just turn me loose from this old stockade. I'll tell you, buddy, I won't mind.
The other night as I lay sleepin' I dreamt I held you in my arms.
When I awoke I was mistaken. These prison walls were all around.
(Chorus)
Two years ago, it seems a long time, that's when I was free and on my own.
But here I am behind that stockade. I wish to God they'd take me home.
(Chorus)
I'll tell you, buddy, I won't mind.
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I know I'll never meet another hunk o' woman like my Ann. She makes me feel like a great big man.
I'm gonna go tell her mama what I think about her, say, "Thank you, ma'am, for giving me your daughter Ann."
She sure is stacked from her toes to the nape of her neck, she's packed like a seed in a grape, she's smooth as marble skin.
When I see her I believe I'm a real young guy and ev'ry time I go to work I think I might die if I can't hurry home again.
If the good Lord worked all night a-makin' me a female plan, I'd say, "No, thanks, Lord. I'll just keep Ann."
How could I ever look at any other woman when I've got Ann? I feel so good when she takes my hand.
I'm gonna go tell her daddy what I think about her, say, "Thank you, man, for giving me your daughter Ann."
When I come home and I feel like I've been run over by a ten-ton truck she can rub my shoulder and ease my aches and pains.
If I lose my job and I'm down to a silver dollar and I feel like a dried up gourd in a holler, she soothes my brow like summer rain.
If the good Lord worked a hundred years at makin' me a female plan, I'd say, "No, thanks, Lord. I'll just keep Ann."
I'd say, "No thanks, Lord, I'll just keep Ann."
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In Trinidad there was a family with much confusion, as you will see.
There was a mama and a papa and a son who was young,T who wanted to marry, have
a wife of his own.
"You cannot marry that girl. I got to say 'No.' That girl is your sister but
your mama don't know!"
Chorus:
Ah, woe, ah, me. Shame and scandal in the family. (Repeat)
So he found a young girl who suited him nice. He went to his papa to ask his
advice.
His papa said, "Son, I got to say 'No.' That girl is your sister but your mama
don't know!"
(Chorus)
As the weeks went by, the boy looked around. Soon the best cook on the island
he found.
He went to his papa to name the day. His papa looked at him and at him he did
say,
"You cannot marry that girl. I gotta say, 'No.' That girl is your sister, but
your mama don't know!"
(Chorus)
So the years went by and he wished he was dead. He had seventeen girls and
still wasn't wed.
When he'd ask his papa, papa would always say, "No! That girl is your sister
but your mama don't know!"
(Chorus)
So he went to his mama and he bowed his head. Told his mama what his papa had
said.
His mama said, "Son, go, man, go! Your papa ain't your papa but your papa don't
know!"
(Chorus)
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Chorus:
Walkin' on this road to my town. Walkin' on this road to home.
Travelin' through these hills and valleys. Travelin' and I'm all alone.
Gonna see my momma. Gonna see my pa. I been a long time movin'. I get to wonderin' how they are.
(Chorus)
Gonna see the parson. That's if I can find him in. I bet he's down there fishin'. Fishin' with my brother Jim.
(Chorus)
And if I never get there, tell you what I'm goin' to do. Gonna write 'em letter. Tell 'em I'll be singing you.
(Chorus)
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Some day some old familiar rain will come along and know my name.
And then my shelter will be gone and I'll have to move along.
But 'till I do I'll stay awhile and track the hidden country of your smile.
Some day the man I use to be will come along and call on me.
And then because I'm just a man, you'll find my feet are made of sand.
But 'till that time I'll tell you lies and chart the hidden bound'ries of your eyes.
Some day the world I use to know will come along and bid me go.
Then I'll be leaving you behind for love is just a state of mind.
But 'till that day I'll be your man and love away your troubles if I can.
And 'till that day I'll be your man and love away your troubles if I can.
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I got a gal, she's ten feet tall, sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
There was two old ladies sittin' in the sand, each one wishin' the other was a man. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
Chorus:
If I can't be your salty dog, I won't be your man at all. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
I smile when you go into town. Now I'm sorry that your car broke down. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
You told me that your wheel was broke. Now I'm sittin' with a broken spoke. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
(Chorus)
I love you in blue and I love you in red but most of all I love you in blue. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
Floatin' down the river on an old oak log. What the hell's a salty dog? Honey, let me be your salty dog.
(Chorus)
I think we better call this the end of this song 'cause it's a-getting' too damn long. Honey, let me be your salty dog.
Honey, let me be your salty, honey, let me be your salty, honey, let me be your salty dog.
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Love's is but the song we sing and fear's the way we die.
You can make the mountains ring or make the angels cry.
Know the dove is on the wing and you need not know why.
C'mon, people. Smile on your brother. Hey, let's get together and love one another right now.
Some may come and some may go and we shall surely pass.
When the one who left us here returns for us at last.
We are just a moment's sunlight, fading on the grass.
C'mon, people. Smile on your brother. Hey, let's get together and love one another right now.
If you hear the song I sing, then you must understand,
You hold the key to love and fear. It's in your tremb'ling hand.
One key unlocks them both, you know, and it's at your command.
C'mon, people. Smile on your brother. Hey, let's get together and love one another right now.
Love's is but the song we sing and fear's the way we die.
You can make the mountains ring or make the angels cry.
Know the dove is on the wing and you need not know why.
C'mon, people. Smile on your brother. Hey, let's get together and love one another right now.
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Shy one, dear one, keeper of my heart. She moves in the pantry quietly apart.
There she pours the flour. There she kneads the dough to an isle in the water with her I would go.
Shy one, dear one, keeper of my heart. She moves in the parlor quietly apart.
She stands against the window, all in the fire glow to an isle in the water with her I would go.
Shy one, dear one, keeper of my heart. She moves in the chamber quietly apart.
And there she smoothes the linen and fluffs the pillows so to an isle in the water with her I would go.
But I cannot sail for my boat has holes. So I rumple her pillow and I stir the coals.
And in the parlor I guess she knows to an isle in the water with her I would go.
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Chorus:
Farewell to you, captain, the bravest in command. Goodbye to all the soldiers who didn't give a damn
For we're goin' back to Richmond, buddy, leavin' here today. Gonna sell our rifles for a jug and get drunk along the way.
'Twas in Virginia harbor Gen'ral Parker disappeared, tied sleeping soundly to a tree.
How we wept as we launched him and so cheerfully we cheered as the gen'ral drifted slowly out to sea.
(Chorus)
At the battle of Manasses, I had my certain chance to bravely fight the red and white and blue.
I was so blasted brave I stuck branches in my pants and, yes, I played a tree 'til it was through.
Please don't think that we are cowards. What a horrible suggestion! It's just that we don't feel that we belong.
Bobby misses his dear mother, John has acid indigestion and I think I feel a migraine coming on.
(Chorus)
Farewell to you, captain, we're goin' to leave you now
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(Spoken recitation over musical accompaniment)
Throughout history, there have been many songs written about the eternal triangle. This next one tells the story of Mister Grayson, a beautiful woman, and a condemned man named Tom Dooley. When the sun rises tomorrow, Tom Dooley must hang.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Poor boy, you're bound to die.
I met her on the mountain. There I took her life. Met her on the mountain. Stabbed her with my knife.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Poor boy, you're bound to die.
This time tomorrow. Reckon where I'll be. Hadn't-a been for Grayson, I'd-a been in Tennessee.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Poor boy, you're bound to die.
This time tomorrow. Reckon where I'll be. Down in some lonesome valley hangin' from a white oak tree.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Poor boy, you're bound to die.
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LUNCH TOTERS:
How about them lunch toters, ain't they a bunch? Goin' off to work a-totin' their lunch.
Totin' them vittles. Totin' that chow. Eatin' it later. Totin' it now.
Look at them lunch toters, ain't they funny, some use a paper sack, some use a gunny
Them food frugal lunch toters, ain't they wise? Totin' their lunch made by their wives.
How to be a lunch toter, if I may emote it. Gitchy wife to fix it. Go to work and tote it!
STAMP LICKERS:
How about them stamp lickers, ain't they champs? Drool, slurp, slobber, lickin' them stamps.
Lickin' them green stamps, lickin' them blue. Lickin' that paper. Eatin' that glue.
Look at them stamp lickers, ain't they gung ho? Lickin' them thrift stamps with they tongu-e-o.
Them lolly goggle stamp lickers, ain't they a rage? Stickin' them licky stamps on that page.
How to be a stamp licker? Don't need a ticket. Get a stamp or two, juice up and lick it!
THEM HORS D'OEUVRES:
How about them Hors D'oeuvres, ain't they sweet? Little piece of cheese and little piece of meat!
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My heaven is so high, you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it.
So wide, you can't get around it. You gotta come in at the door.
Tell those children, yeah, tell 'em now. You gotta come in at the door.
Don't stand and whisper, just show 'em how. You gotta come in at the door.
My heaven is so high, you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it.
So wide, you can't get around it. You gotta come in at the door.
Children of Israel, sing and shout and you gotta come in at the door.
You know the gates of heaven can't keep you out. You gotta come in at the door.
My heaven is so high, you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it.
So wide, you can't get around it. You gotta come in at the door.
Now if you're gonna head for the promised land, you gotta come in at the door.
Just step right up and shake his hand. You gotta come in at the door.
My heaven is so high, so low, so wide, you gotta come in at the door.
My heaven is so high, you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it.
So wide, you can't get around it. You gotta come in at the door.
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