The Beautiful South Album

She's a perfect 10,
but she wears a 12
Baby keep a little 2 for me
She could be sweet 16,
bustin' out at the seams
It's still love in the first degree

When he's at my gate,
with a big fat 8
You wanna see the smile on my face
And even at my door,
with a poor poor 4
There ain't no man can replace

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body,
especially the lines
Time takes its toll,
but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

If he's extra large
well I'm in charge
I can work this thing on top
If he's XXL well what the hell
Every penny don't fit the slot

The anorexic chicks, the model 6
They don't hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that's just fine
But I like to hold something I can see

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body,
especially the lines
Time takes its toll,
but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

I've bought a watch, to time your beauty
But I've had to fit a second hand
I've bought a calendar, and every month
Is taken up by lover man

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body,
especially the lines
Time takes it's toll,
but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body,
especially the lines
Time takes it's toll,
but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

That's right
The conversation we had last night
When all I wanted to do was
Knife you in the heart
I kept it all in

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

Midnight, a husband getting ready to fight
A daughter sleeps alone with the light
Turned on, she bears but
Keeps it all in

Just like that murder in '73
Just like that robbery in '62
With all there things that have happened to me
I kept it all in
Why do you keep on telling me now

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

That's sweet
That conversation we had last week
When you gagged and bound me up to my seat
You're right, I do
I keep it all in

Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in bed
Laying there just watching telly
Then think of me instead

I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a Ph.D in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"

She'll grab your sweaty bollocks [ She'll grab your Sandra Bullocks ]
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head
Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
You've a first in "low esteem"

When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of Brie
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me [ Don't marry her, have me ]

I need a little time
To think it over
I need a little space
Just on my own
I need a little time
To find my freedom
I need a little...

Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust

I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little...

You need a little room for your big head
Don't you, don't you
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you
Lips that promise - fear the worst
Tongue so sharp - the bubble burst
Just into unjust

I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little...

You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn't you, didn't you
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you
The Freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad

I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off

I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time

(F. Neil)

Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind

People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes

Chorus
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
Repeat Chorus

Don't know what I'm doing here
I'll carry on regardless
Got enough money for one more beer
I'll carry on regardless

Good as gold, but stupid as mud
He'll carry on regardless
They'll bleed his heart 'til there's no more blood
But carry on regardless

Carry on with laugh
Carry on with cry
Carry on with brown under moonlit sky

Chorus
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this

Got one note to last all week
I'll carry on regardless
The hill to happiness is far too steep
I'll carry on regardless

Dried his mouth in the Memphis sun
He came on regardless
Turned to smile and he bit his tongue
But carry on regardless

Carry on with work
Carry on with love
Carry on with cheering
Anything above

Chorus
I don't want silver, I just want gold
Carry on regardless
Bronze is for the sick and the old
But carry on regardless

Chorus

(F. Andree / W. Schundt / G. Khan )

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper I love you
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading, but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading, but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams - our worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams

I love you from the bottom, of my pencil case
I love you in the songs, I write and sing

Love you because, you put me in my rightful place
And I love the PRS cheques, that you bring

Cheap, never cheap
I'll sing you songs till you're asleep
When you've gone upstairs I'll creep
And write it all down

Oh Shirley, Oh Deborah, Oh Julie, Oh Jane
I wrote so many songs about you
I forget your name (I forget your name)
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
I forget your name

I love your from the bottom of my pencil case
I love the way you never ask me why
I love to write about each wrinkle on your face
And I love you till my fountain pen runs dry

Deep so deep, the number one I hope to reap
Depends upon the tears you weep, so cry, lovely cry, cry, cry, cry

Oh Cathy, Oh Alison, Oh Phillipa, Oh Sue
You made me so much money, I wrote this song for you
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
I wrote this song for you

So let me talk about Mary, a sad story
Turned her grief into glory
Late at night, by the typewriter light,
She ripped his ribbon to shreds

Old Red eyes is back
Red from the night before the night before
Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door

Old Red's in town
And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound
Just adding to the winkles on his deathly frown

They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed
They're only red from all the women that I could've wed
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realize
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

Listen up Old Red
You never listened to a word the doctor said
He told you if you drank another you'd be dead

Old Red Eyes is back
His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore
He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw

They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head
They're only red from all the things I could have done instead
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realize
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

Blue is a street without an end
Red is the color of my hell
Blue is a greeting from a friend
Red is the color of farewell

Old Red he died
And every single landlord in the district cried
An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side
A lazy little tear running from each eye
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

If euro replaces the pound
It's still likely to be shiny and round
Rich may switch the way they feel rich
but not the man who's alive
or the man who has drowned
Keeping pound only makes sense

if you're worth more than 99 pence Those who have a lot and those who have not
remain francs marks pesetas or cents

If money is the root of all evil
what does that make lover of pound
We'll be eating frogs and modelling clogs
and you'll be hunting french
and dutch with a hound

Now a nation goes to the vote
so our country has its name on the note
Same set of people same boat
need their name in the back of their coat

Heads or tails can't have been won
on whose head graced whatever was spun
If queen's head's not on money they've got
It's still business and money's still fun

If money is the root of all evil
what does that make lover of pound
We'll be eating frogs and modelling clogs and you'll be hunting french
and dutch with a hound

Now a nation goes to the vote
so our country has its name on the note
Same set of people same boat
need their name in the back of their coat

I once had a friend who I loved from my heart
But I went on and left her 'fore I'd made a start
Now I'm moaning the blues like the rest of the charts
Take me back

So I'll cry with a limp
Just get by on a limb
Till these blue eyes of mine they are closed
So here's to an old fashioned peck on the cheek
And farewell my sweet Northern Rose

Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
Where he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die

Those bloody great ballads we hated at first
Well I bought them all, now I'm writing worse
Save us from baldness and saving the earth
Take me back

And I'll smile with a limp
And I'll love with a limp
Till the clouds disappear from above
And as the storm moves away all I can say
Is there's a towel on the door for your love

Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
Where he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die, let it die

It doesn't take a mathematician
To add a simple sum
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb

it doesn't take Robert the Bruce
To see the web you've spun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb

It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb

The sun, the sky, the moon, the stars
Jupiter, Neptune and Mars
All these things I clearly see
It don't take a telescope for you to love me

Dumb, dumb, dumb

How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman has no breeze?
How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman's, when a woman's on her knees?

How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman hasn't sinned?
How long's a tear take to dry
When the weather, when the weather brings no wind?

Look I'm sorry that I hurt you
You look a million dollars and a dime
Time's the greatest healer
But love's the greatest stealer of all time

I'm so sorry, (make it plural) - My heart's broken, (mine's the same)
I still love you, (make it plural)
You're so sweet!
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave

How long's a tear take to dry
When almighty brings is rain?
How long's a tear take to dry
And do tears, and do tears really stain?

This heart was like a tardis
I went and lost the key in a fight
I've never found a locksmith
Will you be my locksmith tonight?
(Will I shite)

I'm so sorry, (make it plural) - My heart's broken, (mine's the same)
I still love you, (make it plural)
You're so sweet!
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave

How long does sorry really last
Is it tattooed upon your heart?
Or is it hung in a museum
With your Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa ex-ass art?

I have no summer (I'll buy you summer)
I'll buy July, if December makes you cry
A little or no trace face belies a lie of many days gone by
A little or no trace face belies a lie of many days gone by

Eyes to take you dancing
mouth to leave your wife
Legs to run away with
and you wonder why?

Heart that makes you bypass
every other girl
Smile that keeps you grinning
at the madness of this world

But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing
And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below

Front to make you happy
back to make you weep
Lips to keep you kissing
whilst everyone's asleep

Tears to break a backbone
laughs to win a war
And people come and ask me
what I love you for

But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing
And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below

And with a tongue built from quicksilver
and a character of steel
They actually come and ask me
How I feel

But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing

And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below

Well I kept fantasizing your eyes were wide open
and it made me long for little last night
Yes it was frantic, it was young, it was sweet
But a sweet worth every bite

Now I'm not normally one to be greedy
But I had to be greedy with you
5 days, 6 days. the whole of the month
wouldn't satisfy my only sweet tooth

Well it can take many years to forge a friendship
It can take a lifetime to get close
But we took all the shortcuts,
used our hearts as a map
and we still got closer than most

So excuse my staring but it's just your looks
are a standard well above myself
Your face might mean zip to you
But to me it's something else

All I can do is thank you
and wish that every dream you have will come true
5 years, 6 years, the whole of your life
I'll be wishing for the riches for you

You dashed pretty's only chance of a compliment
and gave the plain the blues
Turned supermodel into last year's pull
and got her down shining your shoes

And I don't mean to be hod carrier
of the ordinary folks bad news
But tell Miss World to fly to Mars
If she really doesn't like to lose

Love takes time we all agree
and time's not the easiest to cheat
The water changes one degree
When will the shiver
of this river
turn to sea

The river does no good, no harm
Tempts us like pirates to its calm
Lover's shanty, devil's psalm
Goddamn this river
and its shiver
and its charm

If you've got love's A to Z
Don't go dredging river bed
Use your fins and use your head
This river's hooked the floating dead

Our lives go bounding down the strewn
When will we realize minnow dreams
The frustration eating you and me
Our only wish
to be the fish
that meets the sea

We cannot tell a he or she
But us fish can tell a we
We know the seed we know the tree
When will my conker
conquer thee

The cheaper woman and myself
We've both got ladders in our tights
When you've been left on the top shelf
You've got those ladders in your sights

Is it Cologne with it's great cathedral?
Milan with it's glamour and it's pace?
London with it's river and it's bridges?
Lisbon with it's beauty and it's grace?

Funny looking buses
Climb it's pot-bellied hills
And a solitary jogger
Times the time he kills

Do you know where I'm gonna go?
None of you have guessed, so none of you can know
If you've been, that's not where I mean
It's got class and it's got excellence like you've never seen

Your town is dragging me down
Dragging me down, down, down
Your town is dragging me down
Dragging me down, down, down

Is it Dublin with it's culture and it's wit?
Madrid with it's market square?
Paris with it's bustling cafes?
Hull with it's musical flair?

Do you know where I'm gonna go?
None of you have guessed so none of you can know
If you've been, that's not where I mean
It's got class and it's got excellence like you've never seen

Your town is dragging me down
Is dragging me down, down, down
Your town is dragging me down
Is dragging me down, down, down

As I watch them drop the grain into your fish tank brain
How can you like this place when it never even rains?

Never even rains

Your town is dragging me down
Is dragging me down, down, down
Your town is dragging me down
Is dragging me down, down, down

Is dragging me down, down, down
Is dragging me down, down, down
Is dragging me down, down, down

Little seas can be big seas
to the wrong or long of sight
But the Mediterranean
looks like aspirin tonight

The Doctor told me the chemist
he had nothing for my plight
But the Mediterranean
looks like aspirin tonight

This ocean puts in motion
all our wildest Crusoe thoughts
turns brain to Kontiki
when it's always been left in port

I'd rather be cemented
in deep blue building site
Cause drugs can get you higher
But my chosen drug tonight
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is my chosen, my chosen drug tonight

Little voyage can be big voyage
If you sail in the middle of night
But the Mediterranean
needs the compass tonight

It gives cheap thrills to the seagulls
Life to lifes little kites
But the Mediterranean
is my aspirin tonight