The Beautiful South Album

She'd brought along the oranges
He'd brought the tea
They'd both brought along a sick-bag just in case

The plate of chicken sandwiches
Were lovely they agreed
And I watched him spit the bits into her face

'Do you love me like you used to' he sighs
'I love you twice as much' she replies
They were on the train to Venice, where else?
I think tonight I fancy myself

I'd rather drink that toast to my own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
And if you drink that drink to your own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself

Later in the evening
The sun came rolling down
And they talked about their fantasies and fears

Between the heavy breathing
And those lighter licking sounds
I heard him whisper this question in her ear

'Would you still love me if I lost my legs?'
'I'd see that you were loved and you were fed'
'I end up in a car crash almost dead'
'For richer and for partly severed head'

I'd rather drink that toast to my own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
And if you drink that drink to your own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself

The neighbors ask them out but they flatly refuse
'We're saving up for a world-wide cruise'
With a choice between loneliness and love-sick QE2's
Well tonight I choose - self-abuse

A four-pack in the fridge
A good book on the shelf
I think tonight I'd rather love myself

(Heaton / Rotheray / Romeo / Wheeler / Law / Hooper)

This is my life and this is how it reads
For every chapter, a thousand memories
A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease

Diary entry 9th of May '62
We've had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
Diary entry '62 end of May
It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
They're here to stay, they're here to stay

If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)

This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese

Diary entry '68 end of the year
A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
11th December '68 Captain's log
Proposed trip to Mars is cancelled due to fog
It's due to fog, it's due to fog

If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)

This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
Terry meets June in 'Tales from the Crypt'
It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
They later found him scolding a banana

Diary entry 10th of April '89
The world is going mad but me I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine

Back to bed, back to reality
Just fine.

Don't whisper love and dream of wedding bells
Don't do all the talking, let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself

So when you feel a little tatty and unhappy with your face
Let it breathe into us and put you back in place
Let it breathe, let it breathe
From the day it came into us till the day it wants to leave
For it will, it will go
And it will not say goodbye just like it didn't say hello
There will not be a send-off, a funeral or mass
Just a pathetic little vodka from a dirty little glass
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'

Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let it rise up in the morning and take us for that walk
Let it do the talking when we're too tired to talk
When we're too tired to talk

And when you feel unhappy that I'm not the one I was
Let love rot inside and let love palm you off
Let it rot, let it rot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
In a knot, in a knot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
Hang them from a cleaver and say 'Look what we've got
A man and a woman and guess what they forgot'
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'

Let love speak up itself

I should've kept my eyes shut
But I had to go and peep
But when you saw what I saw
Well, it's hard just to roll back to sleep

I would've kept my eyes shut
But I thought I heard you scream
And I've a penchant for violence
You don't seem to find in a dream

The scene a little clearer
My father with a rope
And in the cage, center-stage
It's mother who's destined to choke

And she choke and we choke
On the words that we wish we'd not spoke
Just when you felt you had someone to trust
Out comes the man with the dagger and cloak

I should've read the novels
Believed every word
But the stories they wrote
Were so different to ones that I'd heard

I should've kept my eyes shut
My mouth should've closed
But the mixture of vomit and blood
Just crept up through my nose

It became a little clearer
As soon as I awoke
My father stands with rope in hand
A screaming mother kneels in hope

And she hope and we hope
That me words that she said won't provoke
A smile is removed and a petal is crushed
What once was a laugh has turned into a joke

You should've kept your mouth shut

This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
So let me sit you down and tell you how I won first prize
I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops
Walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot

Chorus:
So I've come for my award, I've come for my award
I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford
Let hands be shook
Champagne poured
Sentence ignored
Yes. I've come for my award

This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
Anyone want a gold watch in a ladies' size?
There's a few more round the back
I stole them from your shop
We've got no more in silver, that's all that you'd got

Chorus

I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye
A thousand hidden cameras were searching cross the sky
But they didn't see me pinch them from underneath their eyes

Chorus:
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Yes, I've come for my award
Hairdryer, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot
Video, compact disc, there's nothing we forgot
Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot
I've come for my Award

Your lying lips don't cry don't cry
Keep telling me you're forever
You're forever, you're forever

I'm walking through these pastures
I'm picking up sweet fruit
I'm shaking hands with people
That previously I'd shoot
But nothing will dissuade me
Nothing will dilute
I want to execute
I want to execute

And you tend to meet a lot of scum en route
It doesn't mean you've joined the other side
And because I still wear shorts and my smile is oh so cute
It doesn't mean I'll run away and hide

To a world where the leaders finally confess
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
To the burning of the Stock Exchange and bombing of the press
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)

I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes
I'm walking through these corridors
Where crime meets pantomime
They're laughing and they're drinking
On the swill of overtime
And no-one seems to know about
The death-wish that they've signed
Ah, life's unkind
Ah, life's unkind

And they see me as a potential new recruit
They rub their hands, slap their backs and smile
But I still wear suspenders underneath my business suit
So needn't worry about me for a while

So to a world without hunger, where royalty face death
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
To the breaking down of barriers of North, South,
East and West
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)

I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes
I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes

And no-one seems to know about
The death-wish that they've signed
Ah, life's unkind
Ah, life's unkind
Life's unkind, life's unkind
From poor old U2 to poor old Simple Minds
No amnesty for murderers of poor old working class
Rope or gas, rope or gas, rope or gas
No amnesty for murderers of poor old working class
Rope or gas, rope or gas

I need a little time
To think it over
I need a little space
Just on my own
I need a little time
To find my freedom
I need a little...

Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust

I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little...

You need a little room for your big head
Don't you, don't you
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you
Lips that promise - fear the worst
Tongue so sharp - the bubble burst
Just into unjust

I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little...

You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn't you, didn't you
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you
The Freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad

I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off

I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time

Here he comes - Mother's Pride
With the first ever satchel she bought him swinging by his side
Here he comes Mother's Pride
With a headful of 'get your laces tied' and 'woe betide'

With a year's supply of sandwiches and fairy cakes
That she provides for him to eat at dinner breaks
It's no surprise at all, at ad the friends he makes
His stomach aches
he's Mother's Pride

He's presentable, well looked after
He's domestically disastrous
He's adorable - Mother's Pride

Here he comes - Father's Pride
With a head filled up with devil dogs and genocide
Here he comes - Father's Pride
He's showing all the kids his tickets for ringside

He'll always roam the yard looking for a fight
He'll pick on all the kids who're twice his height
He's the reason dinner ladies toss and turn at night
Teacher's Blight - Father's Pride


He's the image of his Dad
Mickey Mouse meets Jack the Lad
He's never sad - Father's Pride

Here he comes Mother's Pride
Here he comes Father's Pride
Here he comes Mother's Pride
Father's Pride
His Mother's Pride

Tables turned over and curtains ripped
Bottles uncollected, collected here
Nothing seems to shine like these razor edges do
It's a crazy little world without you

I went to see a doctor and she said 'Yes, go abead'
'Throw yourself into the sea'
I wrote a will for my friends
And this is how it read
'Me, me, me, me, me, me, me'
No friends, everything for me, me, me
No friends, just me, just me

Fleet Street was a very funny place
Home to the mad and the corrupt
What would you say if I told you today
I'd made this whole story up?
I made this whole story up

(The Dramatics)

Some people are made of plastic.
You know some people are made of wood.
Some people have hearts of stone.
You know some people are up to no good.

But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.

What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.

Some people are made of lies.
Breed them to shame your name.
But baby I have good intentions.

But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.

What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.

But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.

What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.

It took a few packed bags and a few slammed doors
It took a false, false smile with a septic pause
From my plastic moustache to your clip-on claws
(In other words I hate you)

It took a thousand fights with a thousand draws
It took a blinkered vision for a long lost cause
As Romeo leaves to light applause
(And softly says I hate you)

My attitude leaves a lot to be desired
My fashion sense has never been quite right
But I'd rather live in drainpipes
Than with friends that I've acquired
(In so many words I hate you)

Those winter nights just spent indoors
That criminal fizz in the drink he pours
We smooch all night to "The Theme From Jaws"
(In other words I hate you)

What's yours is mine and mine is yours
A screaming for a get out clause
Here's the man with a thousand mother-in-laws
(In other words I hate you)

My looks leave a lot to be desired
My music taste has never been the trend
But me and Perry Como, well our patience has expired
In so many words I hate you

My pod is bigger than your pod
My life is bigger than your life
My mouth is bigger than your mouth
Your age is bigger than my age
Your height, my height
Your weight, my weight

My love is bigger than your love
Your fist is bigger than mine
My son is bigger than your son
Your sun it doesn't shine, doesn't shine
Doesn't shine, doesn't shine
At all

My big is bigger than your big
My small is smaller than your small

Speak to me, speak to me
Speak to me, speak to me
Tell me all about the way you feel, speak to me, speak to me
Tell me all the things I want to know
Tell me all the places that you go
Tell me all the nothings in your life
Mix them with the something's in your life
Speak to me

My name is Joy * I am 30 and I was born on the 13.2.60
I work as an accountant and my dream job would be to be
A pilot. This morning for breakfast I had half a grapefruit.
My favorite part of myself is my face. My least favorite
Part of myself is sometimes when alone perhaps late at night
I like to read a dirty book and watch Prisoner Cell Block H.
My favorite animal ............*

My Guy and Patches
Can only hope to match
The evil propaganda that her pen can dispatch
And she better love him good
Or she'll take it on the chin
A woman is a woman
To the enemy within
She can put up a fight
The man will always win
And Danielle Steele
The enemy within

And even photo love
With its pages filled with sin
Couldn't lick the boots of the enemy within
It can only be a chapter
'till her heart will give in
The enemy within
Nothing is as phallic
As a moaning violin
To Danielle Steele
The enemy within

It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
The enemy within
It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin

(Cecil and Linda Womak)

Love wars, Love wars
Love wars, Love wars

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
but its taking me under
since you're not here

Its better when its hard to get
but this hide and go seek
well it's making me weep

I promise to stop boxing you round
so don't scratch my face
end of round eight

We need to get our act together
take it off the street
bring it on home and drop them guns on the floor

Love wars (we don't need)
Love wars
Love wars (we don't need)
Love wars

The talks we had don't change a thing
they only bring rain
on top of pain

Flashback and uncover tracks
from when you left
with my best friend

We need to get our act together
take it off the street
bring it on home and drop them guns on the floor

Make love in peace
and then never ever cheat
vow to be strong and let the band roll on

Love wars (we don't need)
Love wars
Love wars (we don't want)
Love wars

Love bombs explodin' in air
until the last one
I really don't care

I remember losing my head
and calling you things
like dirty names

We need to get our act together
take it off the street
bring it on home and drop them guns on the floor

Make love in peace
and then never ever cheat
vow to be strong and let the band roll on

Love wars (we don't need)
Love wars
Love wars (we don't want)
Love wars
Love wars (we can't start)
Love wars
Love wars (we don't need)
Love wars