The Beautiful South Album

Old Red eyes is back
Red from the night before the night before
Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door

Old Red's in town
And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound
Just adding to the winkles on his deathly frown

They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed
They're only red from all the women that I could've wed
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realize
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

Listen up Old Red
You never listened to a word the doctor said
He told you if you drank another you'd be dead

Old Red Eyes is back
His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore
He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw

They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head
They're only red from all the things I could have done instead
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realize
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

Blue is a street without an end
Red is the color of my hell
Blue is a greeting from a friend
Red is the color of farewell

Old Red he died
And every single landlord in the district cried
An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side
A lazy little tear running from each eye
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue

There's no more little secrets we haven't yet disclosed
We bore the living daylights of anyone too close
And all our cards at Christmas are written to us both
Count them up who's got the most?

Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

We've been through all positions and this one's definitely best
You move Middle East and I'll move Wild West
What happened to our friendship we could easily have guessed
Add it up we're self-possessed

Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so so proud
Just me an you
We'd shout it out aloud

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

Remember we went shopping and we went by piggyback
I shaved all my legs and you grew hairs upon your back
Well no-one's ever been since to this lover's shack
It's a cul-de-sac

Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company

Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so so proud
Just me an you
We'd shout it out aloud

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a secret agent working under cover
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

Here I walk, here I walk
Looking for an angel's wings in the den of the hawk

Here I am, here I am
With a choice between an also ran and a sunbed tan
And you thought you'd found your own little look
How I misjudged, how I mistook
And you thought you'd found the style of your hair
I guess tonight I'll take, I'll take these troubles to
the rocking chair

So I'll take these high-heeled shoes
And yes I'll take these traditional views
I'll take this deep despair
Of a 30 year old square, to the rocking chair

Here I sit, here I sit
Looking for a warming smile in a house of cold wit
Here I stand, here I stand
Torn between the balding drunk and no man's land

And they'll tell you when you've reached your peak
Where the wolf-whistle rung there's a deafening shriek
Blowing kisses into thin air
I guess tonight I'll take, I'll take these troubles to
The rocking chair

So I'll take this awkward stance
And I'll take this sexless dance
I'll take this deep despair of a 30 year old square
To the rocking chair

Am I skinny? A shade too fat?
Mmmm...My friend the cat knows all about that
Am I happy?
(here I sit, here I sit)
Just a little sad
(looking for a warming smile in a house of cold wit)
Mmmm...My friend the cat knows all about that
Am I skinny?
(Here I walk, here I walk)
A shade too fat?
(Looking for an angel's wings in the den of the hawk)
My friend the cat knows all about that

Revolutions come and go but we'll just have to wait
The time is nigh to sit and plot exactly who you hate

Sirens in the neighborhood
The gun must be misunderstood
A warden in a pool of blood
The palace laugh and so they should

Across the world in every coup a thousand guns without a clue
If only all the people knew, they've got their sight set up on you

Every war is always cursed
With "just who do you shoot at first?"
Think real hard and think Sandhurst
Take an officer he's the worst

Governments will rise and fall but royalty's still there
Don't worry if it's Queen or Duke try scything down the pair
And if you class the palace staff as devil's advocator
Just put them in an incubator and we'll deal with them later

Just a little bit later

We'll deal with you later

Just put them in an incubator and we'll deal with them later
Just throw them to the alligators and we'll deal with them later

So be wary of the liquidator
Cos we'll deal with you later
Just put them in a liquidator
And we'll deal with you later

We'll deal with you later.

Through ugly pints and Sunday breath
Sit men whose stare is cold as death
Through wide lapels and glued up eyes
Through made up kids and made up wives
Sitting in the heart of them
Is a man who's not like other men
Don't you know just who I am
A nod, a wink, I am the domino man.

And if you pull a double one
I'll pack my bags and I'll be gone
If you pull a three and four
I'm flying off to Singapore
Where women dance and tigers roar
I'm lying on a distant shore
I'm living life just fas as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink I am the domino man.

Through a twenty deep screen of humorists
Through slavering jaws and angry fists
Through tales of mishap and the clickety-clack
Is fully paid member of the brother of the tap

Through heavy smoke and idle bets
Through heaving lungs and heavy debts
Sits a man who knows he can
A nod, a wink, I am the domino man

And if you pulla two and a six
I'll pack my bags and take that risk
And if you pull a four and five
They'll never take this man alive
I'll go far east and I'll survive
The market streets I'll duck and dive
I'm living life as fast as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink I am the domino man

And when he's off to sail the seven seas
He just stay indoors or hides up trees
He's been to places that you've never seen
But his mind is blank and his passport's clean

But if you pull a two and a six
I'll plaque my bags and take that risk
And if you pull a four and five
They'll never take this man alive
I'll go far east and I'll survive
The market street I'll duck and dive
I'm living life just as fast as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink, I am the domino man

Close your legs, open your mind
Leave those compliments well behind
Dig a little deeper into yourself
And you may find

Come over here just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?

Make their day and go ahead
Remove your clothes lie on their bed
Just a last gasp chance or an outside bet
To the easily led

And before you do just what you do
Here' one thought for you to chew
The men who run the business that you sell
They screw you too

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?

You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy

Your picture's hanging pretty on the squaddies' walls
You're Steven's, Andy's, you're Ian's, you're Paul's
Your body's through of fondly in the rugby mauls
But you want more

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?

36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
He was trying to save his job
He was, he was trying to save his job.

Here it is again it's so so mad
Turning young and happy into old and sad
Here it is again just passed by chance
All the way to the lawyer from a sloppy dance
It was another holiday argument
But she threw him into the sea
A glass bottomed boat pulled him up
His face was rotting in weed
It was rotting in weed, I've seen those people bleed
If it never happens well it happened to me

Do you know who you love
Does anybody here have a clue
Just who they're with
And it was glance by glance
And it was blow by blow
Did they know
Just who they loved

Here it is again in the same disguise
Clean shoes, smart tie and deep blue eyes
Here it is again and it makes you sick
Watch the blind man walk along without a stick
Heads he was a beautiful lover
Tails he was definitely bad
Heads you're like no other
Tails just the best he'd had

You're the best he's had
You're the best so far
All the way to the church from the back of a car

Do you know who you love
Does anybody here have a clue
Just who they're with
And it was glance by glance
And it was blow by blow
Did they know
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved

The perfect love song it has now words it only has death threats
And you can tell a classic ballad by how threatening it gets
So if you walk into your house and she's cutting up your mother
She's only trying to tell you that she loves you like no other
No other, she loves you like no other.

The only emotions that I know are love and hate
And she's chopping & she's changing & it's making you afraid
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
She'll kiss you or she'll kill you but you'll just have to wait

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

The perfect love has no emotions, it only harbors doubt
And if she fears your intentions she will cut you out
So do not raise your voice and do not shake your fist
Just pass her the carving knife, if that's what she insists
Insists, if that's what she insists

A hate tattoo on my brain and a love one on my heart
I'd love to hate you, like I love you
and just tear your dreams apart
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
Cupid's arrow looking more like Cupid's poisoned dart

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

The perfect kiss is dry as sand and doesn't take your breath
The perfect kiss is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death

Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death
Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death

I was handed down the looks of a man with a broken nose
That's the way our family was I suppose
But at least you gave me deeply profound
As we lay and chatted late upon the cricket ground

You didn't have to love me
Where others got rid
You didn't have to treat me like a very good friend
But I'm glad that you did

One thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan

I'm the richly blessed daughter of a mother with tattooed arms
That's the way my family life, life was charmed
But at least it gave me mental grace
And a thought at the pit on my mind and a smile on my face

You didn't have to listen
To a word that I'd said
You didn't have to tell me all those silly old jokes
For every tear that I shed
Every tear that I shed

Cos one thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan

I was handed down a bike with a crooked old wheel
But I rode it on a million lanes the way that you made me feel
But at least we thought about it so lang. and hard
As we sat upon our mother in the graveyard

And you don't have to listen
To a word in this song
Your picture hangs the same and in the same old place
Even though that you've gone
Even though that you've gone

Cos. one thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan
Yes I am
I'm your No. 1 fan

This is the dinner prepared
This is the dress that I made
This is the child I brought up
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid

This is the perfume I wore
This is the hotel we stayed
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid

We promise ourselves this is no one-night stand
Let us draw all the curtains and strike up the band
And I'm thrilled by gentlest touch of your hand we pretend
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion through fear, through fear

This is the smile that I wore
This is the song that we played
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid, this is the woman you laid

Next morning our eyes filled with sleepy regret
A kiss and goodbye and a long cigarette
But the pillow I lay on is cold and it's wet
Can't pretend

It's a tear, it's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear

Roll out the red carpets and unplug the phone
Root out the photos you've already shown
Cos this is one night you won't sleep alone
Just one night

There's a tear there's a tear
Not through confusion through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear

There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear
Not through confusion, through fear.

There's a boy with a brace across his teeth
White socks, tattooed underneath
Bus tickets chitched up in his palm
Stood there he's spinning a yarn

There's a girl with a plastic pair of shoes
Two eyes permanently bruised
Can't find the time to be alarmed
Just stood spinning a yarn

Just take your time
It'll work out fine
It'll do no harm
To spin your yarn

You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums

My name is Derek from the den
I deal in shillings and in pence
I'll get you any deal you like
Ten sweets for a mountain bike you like

My name is Mandy from the yard
I deal in crazy tarot cards
I'll tell you what the future brings
One cat and a dog that sings

You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums

Just take your time
It'll work out fine
It'll do no harm
To spin your yarn

You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums

Queuing with the old folk
There's and old man with a wicked smile
Not through smug politeness
He's doing it in style

No savings book or flannel slacks
No "Pardon" when I heard them ask
Just a vodaphone and a filofax

When I'm 64
I'll dream on

They all bore the milkman
Stop him for hours at their front gate
He just sits and thinks
I'll make the bastard wait

No dribbling or incontinence
No longing for the old sixpence
Just smoking weed till age makes sense

When I'm 74
I'll dream on

They all save for Blackpool
Just for the cheap companionship
Meanwhile he counts pennies
For a different trip

No smoking pipes and drinking bitter
No eyeing up the baby sitter
I'll trip up kids and I'll drop my litter

When I'm 84
I'll dream on
When I'm 84
I'll dream on late
I'll dream on
And I'll whisper late

You're in your nineties Arthur
Be careful with your back
Exercise your muscles
I'd rather Jack
I'd rather Jack

I was about to write a song about the fear and the doubt
But my pen ran out
It captured the emotions of a lover and a lout
But my pen ran out
So the picture wasn't painted and the story wasn't told
No one knows the author 'cause the record never sold
And I know they never will until he's bitter and he's old
His time ran out

I was gonna share my blues with a nation full of blues
But my pen ran out
I was gonna spread the news of the way I always lose
But my pen ran out
So I'll keep an envelope with all the words I should have said
Hide it in a tiny box underneath my bed
And written on the outside will be 'open when he's dead'
And written on the outside will be 'open when he's dead'

His time ran out, his time ran out
His time ran out, his time ran out

My Guy and Patches
Can only hope to match
The evil propaganda that her pen can dispatch
And she better love him good
Or she'll take it on the chin
A woman is a woman
To the enemy within
She can put up a fight
The man will always win
And Danielle Steele
The enemy within

And even photo love
With its pages filled with sin
Couldn't lick the boots of the enemy within
It can only be a chapter
'till her heart will give in
The enemy within
Nothing is as phallic
As a moaning violin
To Danielle Steele
The enemy within

It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
The enemy within
It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin

Invite Jesus back into your heart
What you feelin'
Misery, misery depart
Use God's wisdom; make a brand new start
But invite Jesus
Invite Jesus back into your heart

I was blind, but now I see
It was Jesus, it was Jesus hoodwinking me
First book, first chapter, first verse
Don't send a begging man to a bankrupt chruch

Chorus:
Cause this church is my church, not yours
And the wisdom knows the truth
And old testaments agree
Fleet St. B.C.

Take Cliff Richards back into your heart
Pay him money
What's a good Lord
What's a good Lord charge?
Join the church of the Sacred Heart
Invite Jesus
Invite Jesus back into your heart

You can best the bible
You can sing the song of praise
Ten Hail Marys or a simple word like Grace
When you're on your knees
And you don't know what to think
Don't forget the wisemen worked for a High Street bank

Chorus:
Cause this church is my church, not yours
And wisdom knows the truth
And the old testaments agree
its Fleet Street B.C.

I was blind
But now I
But now I see
I was blind...

(Mike Greaves)

Little sister don't you cry
Lay your head down close your eyes
Your heart is aching
Mine is aching for you
Little sister don't you cry
Lay your head down close your eyes
And dream of when before young men
Looked at you

Diamonds always shine
You'll find true love again
The mud gets washed off with the rain
Diamonds always shine

Little sister look at me
Do you see the lines around my eyes
They trace the tracks of the tears
I cried inside
For a boy who loved me true
Who found somehow like you
He could not see the point
In going on

Diamonds always shine
You'll find true love again
The mud gets washed off with the rain
Diamonds always shine
Diamonds always shine

(Gibb / Gibb / Gibb)

I started a joke
Which started the whole world crying
Oh had I only seen
That the joke was on me

And I started to cry
Which started the whole world laughing
Oh had I only known
That the joke was on me

I looked at the sky
And holding my hands over my eyes
I fell out of bed
Cursing my head for the things that I said

I finally died
Which started the whole world living
Oh had I only seen that the joke was on me

On me
On me

I finally died
Oh I finally died
I started a joke
Which started the whole world crying

Oh I finally died (repeat above)

I want expensive not cheap
And all the secrets that you keep
Should be quietly put to sleep
Not then not when not yet this week

I have told a thousand lies
But this time he is surprised
Cut the alibis from my eyes
From my eyes
Eyes

One sample of your wit
You ask me round to baby-sit
Just sat there smiling from a pit
Is the goddess of the vimly lit

I have told a thousand lies
But this time he is surprised
Cut the alibis from my eyes
From my eyes
From my eyes

I want you pretty not polite
And all those compliments you invite
They should burn by candlelight
Not tomorrow next week but just tonight

I have told a thousand lies
But this time he is surprised
You cut the alibis from my eyes
From my eyes
From my eyes

I have told a thousand lies
I have told a thousand lies
From my eyes
I have told a thousand lies
This time he is surprised
I have told a thousand lies
I have told a thousand lies

Verse one, he was pissed, an excuse that you probably missed
'Cause his smile and his grace made your skirt ride high

Verse two, still drunk and his breath most definitely stunk
Of the lies and the shite he was spitting out

Chorus:
So won't you throw his song away
Won't you throw his song away
Won't you throw his song away

Verse three, is the verse that'll make you smile
And if you're able to hold back the bile and just kiss his hairy ear

Verse four is as sad as a man ever gets
Is a verse built to open your legs
If you don't, if you don't, he'll retire

Chorus

You, you deserve higher than I can sing
Deserve lower than the trumpet can swing
You, you deserve all
Me, I'm beyond all that ism and blues
I'm beyond all that, I always lose
Yes I fuck, but I win

Chorus

When we met I got wet
Just waiting for the chance
To dance at your feet
And wipe your wooden seat

Chorus:
Trevor, you're bizarre
I wish that you could tell
Trevor, you'll go far
I certainly wish you well

He said, I am dead
My career has passed its peak
And I'm weak and you're strong
You'll have to sing this song

Chorus

Your words your fears
Who do they touch on this earth
Who gave birth
Surely they could've done worse

Chorus

Shame he was nice, a nice boy
Just filled with guts and joy
But he died, and an audience of one cried
Shame, he was nice
Filled with guts and joy, filled with guts and joy
He sang it from his heart
And all who said they heard

Said he sang it from his heart