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Your friends keep telling me
I bear a striking resemblance to someone you used to know
But baby's it's me
So why the hell do you keep calling me "Flo"
And I would hope
That you would have the decency to
Let me go
In case of an emergency
But you keep reassuring me
Telling me to just quit tripping on it
And maybe its me
I guess that I should probably get a grip on it
"But" its hard to do
Every time I see that tattoo
Over your heart
It ain't right I cant even look at you
Why you doing what you're doing
You should be doing what you want
Who the fuck you think you're fooling
She's the one you want
Florence if you hear this wont you
Come and take your girlfriend back
She's been calling out your name
Every time were in the sack
She's been a mess since you've been apart
So Flo if you had half a heart
Florence can you hear me
Can you hear me Flo
Florence can you hear
Can you hear me Flo
Were been going for a while
But lately she's been somewhere else
She don't even smile
And I think its a cry for "help"
And I would pray
That you would have the common courtesy
To take her away
It aint right she don't belong to me
Why you doing what you're doing
You should be doing what you want
You're the only one your fooling
She's the one the one you want
Florence if you hear this wont you come and pick your
Girlfriend up
She's been talking in her sleep and I think I've had enough
She's been a wreck since you've been away
So Flo if you have something to say
Florence can you hear
Can you hear me Flo
Florence can you hear
Can you hear me Flo
Florence can you hear
Can you hear me Flo
Florence can you hear
Can you hear me
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I don't love you but I want to
Just give me something that I cant hold on to
Come on baby and speed your lust to me
Here's my number on a cocktail napkin
Think about it like a loaded weapon
Cock the hammer and point that thing at me
Chorus:
Why don't you call(3x)
Kill me for the thrill of it all
I want someone anyone
Tall ones short ones skinny ones
I want someone anyone
You spend your nights at home crying
I spend mine death defying
I call it testing morality
So pull the goggles down over your eyes
Say good night to the rest of the barflies
I'm forever yours temporarily
Repeat Chorus
I want someone anyone
Drunk ones spun ones anyone
I want someone anyone
Fat ones whacked ones give me some
I want someone anyone
Spend some rent one lend me one
Fun ones dumb ones gypsy chicks on rocks
Done ones even chicks with chicken pox
I want someone anyone(4x)
Drunk ones spun ones give me some
I want someone anyone
Fat ones whacked ones anyone
I want someone anyone
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It ain't no joke I'd like to buy the world a toke
And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars
Hey I know it's just a song but it's spice for the recipe
This is a love attack I know it went out but it's back.
It's just like any fad it retracts before impact
And just like fashion it's a passion for the with it and hip
If you got the goods they'll come and buy it just to stay in the clique
Chorus:
So don't delay act now supplies are running out
Allow if you're still alive six to eight years to arrive
And if you follow there may be a tomorrow
But if the offer is shun you might as well be walkin' on the sun
Twenty-five years ago they spoke out and they broke out
Of recession and oppression and together they toked
And they folked out with guitars around a bonfire
Just singin' and clappin' man what the hell happened
Then some were spellbound some were hellbound
Some they fell down and some got back up and
Fought back 'gainst the melt down
And their kids were hippie chicks all hypocrites
Because fashion is smashin' the true meaning of it
Repeat Chorus
It ain't no joke when a mama's handkerchief is soaked
With her tears because her baby's life has been revoked
The bond is broke up so choke up and focus on the close up
Mr. Wizard can't perform no godlike hocus-pocus
So don't sit back kick back and watch the world get bushwhacked
News at 10:00 your neighborhood is under attack
Put away the crack before the crack puts you away
You need to be there when your baby's old enough to relate
Repeat Chorus
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Lately I've been thinkin' about the past
About the good times
And have they all come and gone
And are there more years behind than ahead
Then I say to myself
Fuck it let's rock
Lately I've been thinking about who's in charge
About who they
And are they looking down and laughing hard
Are they aliens or robots or humanoids or gods
I think I'm just paranoid
Fuck it let's rock
What if someone takes my cat and what if she runs away
And what if she gets hit
What if someone takes my chick and what if she runs away
I wont be blue
Cuz I know what to do
Lately I've been thinking about my vices
And about the prices
That I'll later have to pay
I've been thinking about myself
And about my health
Then I say what the hell
Fuck it let's rock
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Neighbor called my landlord
She said that she was pissed
Up all night making noise
And she cant get no rest
She said we was running a flop house
Full of thieves and thugs
Musicians and hooligans and we were all on the drugs
So she got bent and raised the rent
Said it would only take one more
Phone call from my whiny neighbor
What's up with my neighbor
What's it gonna take to get a break
She's got us tiptoeing around in fear
Church mice at st leos down my street
Have moved so far away
She has sent them packing and running scared
How much more does she think we will take
Maybe some day when I'm old and fat and bored
I'll understand why my neighbors making my life hell
I cant even watch tv or sneeze or fart cant even breathe
For fear my landlord will come and ring my bell
How much more does she think we will pay
No more flop house no more fun
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
Shooting cans with bb guns
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
She says these punks have to go
I think were gonna get the old heave ho
Neighbor called my landlord
It was a sunday afternoon
She couldn't hear the tv set
We were having a bbq
We were listening to louis prima
And drinking meisterbrau
If she would have come and talked it over
And she wasn't a lazy cow
So she got bent and raised the rent
Said it would only take one more
Phone call from my whiny neighbor
Maybe someday when I'm jaded
9 to 5 at a job I hate
I'll come home and razz my neighbors too
But id have clever strategy
And catch them when the rent is late
And all the other bills are overdue
After all this is the neighborly way
No more music no more fun
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
Barbecues in the sun
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
She says that these punks must go
I think were gonna get the old heave ho
Don't even hide the dog
Or put the bong away
We don't want to live here anyway
Neighbor called my landlord
She said we didn't care
The lawn is dead
Dogs and cats are stinking everywhere
She said we had crazy parties every night
The yard is littered with bottles and cans
Skateboards and bikes
She didn't get bent
Didn't raise the rent
We only got a note that read
In 30 days well get the old heave ho
No more music no more fun
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
Barbecues in the sun
I've got a whiny neighbor(x2)
She says that these punks must go
I think were gonna get the old heave ho
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I wanna try your shoes on
And wear them for a day
Learn to talk like you do
And say what I see
I'd talk like I knew something
That everyone wanted to hear
But you're the fonz
The definition of icy
The measure of what's up
You could play the tuba
And everyone would clap
Well I can play the tuba
And they all just shake their heads
Cause you're the fonz
I know its over for me
I know its over
Drove my car to the floor
And stood at the edge
When I woke up in heaven
Looked down and no one cared
But when you pulled your own trigger
They all gathered around to watch
Cause you're the fonz
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Just when I thought everything would be ok
Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way
Out came the cloud from under my feet
Crashing back down to reality
You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween
Remember when I used to your jellybean
You used to call me schnookums and shit like that
Now you're after me with a baseball bat
I remember when I used to be the king
Your honey sweet darling baby everything
I used to be your tall dark mystery man
Now I'm just straight up history man
Just when I thought everything would be all right
Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight
You left me with nothing but a scribbled note
That said I would no longer be your love boat
From here on out my pet name would be x
Your x your x your x
It used to be sugar then it turned into salt
I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line
Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark
You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park
You used to call me names too cute to repeat
Like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet
Goochy goochy goo goo gaga shit like that
Now you're after me screaming you dirty rat
I don't remember applying for a name change
So why is it you're calling me mister deranged
Psychopathic pornographic stinking drunk
Failing fast lying ass worthless punk
You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll
I guess another studs kicking in my stall
You'll probably call him superman or loverboy
You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy
Just when he thought everything was going his way
Just he started to believe everything was hunky dory
He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on
And with an itsy bitsy tiny little almost inaudible squeak
He'll notice
It's gone
From here on out his pet name would be x
Your x your x your x
Sweet pie?
No x
Honey bunch?
No x
Bubble butt?
No x
Pumpkin face
X
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Life imitates the game of chess
You can be the rook or the pawn
If you have the strategy that's best
You can be the king or in this case the don
It's easy to get knocked out of the game
Depending on which way you want to play
You've got to have eyes in the back of your head
Now that we have that out of the way
Chorus:
Rev up the Lincoln
And lets get to drinking some caffeino
Lets go to nicolettis
Cause he makes a mean spaghetti sauce
I'm a connoisseur of the finer things in life
I'll take any flick with al pacino
I'm a man of respect and I prefer to be addressed as padrino
If you're the type that likes to spill the beans
You could be a stone in someone's shoe
You'll receive a kiss on each cheek
Then you'll know that pretty soon the stone will be removed
Everyone knows that crime does not pay
It doesn't pay the taxes anyway
You've got to be slick if you don't want it to stick
Now that we have that out of the way
Repeat Chorus
I know it's not a wise thing to do
Writing funny songs about the mob
But if it's all the same to you
I don't see it as a gang but a club
Where men sit like gentlemen
Plotting their events about
Things I shouldn't understand comprehend or care
Like...oh, I don't know maybe I shouldn't go there
After all it is a family affair
Stay out of the papers
Don't get caught
Leave the singing to Sinatra and always keep your big trap shut
Capice?
The underworld is like an undertow - if you don't respect it
It will surely bring you down - when you least expect -
Hey expect it from all sides
Once you're in it it's for life
Don't be famous be infamous and you will live to see another day
Be wise about with whom you discuss
Now that we have that out of the way
Repeat Chorus
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She's 15 and she's leaving home
Living on the streets where she don't feel alone
Daddy's always gone and mommy's on the sauce
Living in a mansion it's easy to get lost
She's going to a place where they understand
Baby on the way her womb's a garbage can
Who said anything about a good life
This one's bad bad bad bad
Gonzo again - just another entry to the never ending story
Wasted again - I think you need a new best friend
Nervous in the alley off the boulevard
Shaking all over and the panic starts
You see she needs to get her prescription filled
And she knows exactly how she'll be billed
Nervous on the alley waiting for a fix
She ain't got no money just a couple of tricks
Who said anything about a charmed life
This one's bad bad bad bad
Gonzo again - just another entry to the never ending story
Wasted again - I think you need a new best friend
Who said anything about a good life
Who said anything about a charmed life
Who said anything about a fair life
It's mad
Dying in the alley waiting for her man
Carrying her child and a sleeping bag
Should have would have could have never crossed her mind
So she passes on to the other side
Here he comes suit shades car and a beeper
Sugar daddy pimp pushing fucking grim reaper
Who said anything about a fair life
This one's mad mad mad mad
Gonzo again - just another entry to the never ending story
Wasted again - I think you need a new friend
Gonzo again - just another entry to the never ending story
Wasted again - I think you need a new best friend
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Today you sat up half asleep and stared
Into this cluttered empty apartment and died
What the where the how the why the hell
You can watch your step and still you'll never see the mines
Stay up man don't drown
Its time to go to town
Today is just another yesterday
You're back in the game again
You're going to win it in the end
Disconnect the dots and be on your way
Every day I see you sinking low
Dragging around like it was the end of the world
She's gone she's gone she's gone man let it go
Cause in the end she didn't turn out to be much of a girl
Stay up man don't sink
Before you have time to blink
Your # 1 will walk through the door and want to play
You're back in the game again
You're going to win it in the end
Disconnect the dots
Disconnect the dots and be on your way
Thought you had it so secure so sure
Looking at the map and didn't see the detour
d.I.v.o.r.c.e. or something of that sort
Disconnect the dots my man the ball's in your court
Get yourself a shave and put on your best hat
The world is your aquarium and you are the cat
So dive right in and don't forget to swim
You're back in the game again again
Stay up man don't drown
Its time to go to town
Today is just another yesterday
You're back in the game again
You're going to win it in the end
Disconnect the dots and be on your way
. . .
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Why don't you condone it
Why don't you set me free
I don't think you own it
Cause it belongs to me
And if I ever want to take it back
You try to lie and hide it
Look who laughing last
Everyone around me thinks they know
They try to see it
But I don't let it show
Stay out of my business
Keep your hands off my door
I've got a bed
I'd rather sleep on the floor
Screaming in my head
I don't like it anymore
No place to go
Leave me alone
I don't want to know
I spin my wheels and try to figure it out
What's going on
And what's it all about
Where did I go wrong
I think I'm having my doubts
About what you said
And what you're going to do
I'm so pissed off
I blame it on you
I've done it all
There's nothing left for me to do
What's going on
Piss on you
No place to go
Leave me alone
I don't want to know
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Why can't we be friends (4x)
I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya 'round for a long long time
I really, I really, I really remember when you drank my wine
Why can't we be friends (4x)
I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya walkin' down in Chinatown
I called ya, I called ya, I called but you did not look around
I pay my, I pay my, I pay my money to the welfare line
I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya standing in it everytime
Why can't we be friends (4x)
The color, the color, the color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as, as long as, long as we can live in harmony
I kinda, I kinda, I kinda, like to be the president
And I could, and I could, and I could show you how your money's spent
Why can't we be friends (4x)
Sometimes I don't speak right
But did I know what I was talking about
I know you're working for the CIA
They wouldn't have you in the mafia
Why can't we be friends (4x)
(Repeat to fade)
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