Saint Etienne Album

Transcribed by Nicola

Sarah:
Hello, this is Saint Etienne here with a special Christmas message for you all. How are you feeling Bob?
Bob:
I'm feeling dandy and I just want to say Happy Christmas, war is over. How are you feeling Pete?
Pete:
I'm feeling my oats. It's a bit parky in here, isn't it? Anyone fancy a drink? What's your favourite Christmas drink Bob?
Bob:
Umm, can I have a vodka with domestos in it and a slice of ??? please?
Pete:
Certainly sir. And Sarah?
Sarah:
No thank you. eh... can I have a glass of champagne with an Oxo cube in it please? Thank you. Mmmmm.
Bob:
Do you want a drink Pete, I'm buying this round?
Pete:
No.
Sarah:
We've got a couple of songs for you and the first one is...
Bob:
Driving Home For Christmas, a smashing song by Chris Rea. And the second one is..
Pete:
Message In A Bottle, a tribute to the gentle giant of rock, Sting.
Sarah:
And now we'd all like to say...
All:
Happy Christmas!!

I'm driving home for Christmas
Oh, I can't wait to see those faces
I'm driving home for Christmas, yeah
Well, I'm moving down the line

And it's been so long
But I will be there
I sing this song
To pass the time away
Driving home for Christmas

Top to toe in tail backs
Oh, I got red lights all around
But soon there'll be a free way
Get my feet on snowy ground

So I sing for you
Though you can't hear me
When I get through
And feel you near me
I'm driving home for Christmas

With a thousand memories
I look at the driver next to me
He's just the same...

One, two, turtles are blue
Three, four, Police are a bore
Five, six, Trudi upped sticks
Seven, eight, you got no mates!

Brimstone, treacle and you
Break a leg, boy on the moon
No more Tyneside's favourite son
Jimmy Nail is number one

Reading books by Nabokov
School kids told you, "Bugger off!"
So you sung about dread and fear
You're a legal alien, dear

While you were out saving trees
Your accountant doubled his fees.
Five million down the drain
Poor old teacher's got no brain!

So many crimes committed to wax
Andy's hanging up his axe
Copeland went on to equalise
Sting’s a bell boy in disguise