Pulley Album

what the fuck is really going on with me?
i'm not a creature in a circus freak show.
really like to be.
don't feel sorry but there's always pity here.
don't feel sorry for you,
not asking myself to do anything, anything for me.
going places where i always dream to do,
waste my time with that. brighten up
this picture one day,
make me laugh. trying something
that has not been done before,
nothing left to do, not asking myself to do anything.
what if once i started building something up
just to watch it fall,
pick up again.
see the pieces right in front of me.
pick it up again. i'm on my way.

i'm not angry I'm through being mad,
i'm done feeling sorry after you hurt me so bad:
Don't try thinking about me cause i'm already gone.
not saying that I'm right just telling you you're wrong.
Keeping to myself or am i really locked away?
a childhood of scars i bear that make me fell this way.
don't relate to people that don't relate to me.
paste the point of anger,
when will you take me seriously?
people used to laugh don't want to be like them
people who i trust and used to call my friends.
things are so much easier now your agony is gone.
sometimes you just don't know you are right
because someone else is wrong.
It's not a matter of foolish pride that won't let me forgive you.
it's the hatred that i feel inside for trusting you.
someday i'm gonna break away.
one day i'm gonna break away.

a different pain when the axe falls on you
watching hurt from far away.
can only make us blue.
my life is only mine
and no one really cares if every day,
i hit that peel and stumble down the stairs.
you don't know you don't know the pain.
you can't feel the same.
many things i want,
that i will never get.
go through my life without even a little regret.
some things i need will never come to me
even if i kneel and pray and squeeze my rosary.
you don't know the pain.
you can't feel the same.
in this life you're always on your own.
nobody really hears a cry of pain
that sounds like it's alone,
sounds like it's alone.

this is a little story about a lazy old man.
it's been years and years
and years gone by without a solid plan.
digging deep for motivation,
why it seems so hard to find.
he's been living like this for oh so long,
this way of life stuck in his mind.
a good kick in the ass is what he needs,
no one hears his silent pleas.
although people around him would tend to agree,
a life of living this is a bad disease.
it's a bad disease.
it's a bad disease.
it's a bad disease.
a will for change is a thought desired,
to achieve his goals to take him higher.
in his thoughts he seems to care,
but this laziness lingers in the airs.
a fresh breath not polluted with this disease.
i can hear him screaming saying please...
please...please. help me now,
take me by the hand.
this rut i'm in, makes me so bland.
so used to sitting, sitting on the couch.
feeling like a fucking goddamn slouch,
when will he see the reality?

she spent her nights next to years of deception,
and he sees a girl to him fifty summers ago
and again his hands tearing apart.
sometimes i felt that when the grass was always greener
and the sadness in the sun can turn it blue.
take a swing up to the sky
and never watch it pass you by,
the carpets rolling out for you.
you hold the reins and i still have control
and i don't know what i would do without you.
another room, another face,
i smell the anger in this place.
and i'm not hanging to survive.
my chair sits high, the ceiling's low,
there's nowhere else for me to go.
i'll rot right here until the day i die.

there ain't shit on tv, i got no new pornography.
i got to find a reason to want to stay alive.
not a word is heard i said,
i might as well just stay in bed.
to find a better way, i doubt i'll even try,
just another boring story, about a teenage waste of glory.
trapped in a town, gonna drag you down, my life is such a mess,
i cannot help but feel depressed.
i doubt that anyone would miss me if i wasn't around,
i don't need to know about the things in life that i can't find.
i don't need to know about the things i left behind.
i'm just a lazy slob, i should go out and get a job.
but i won't cause i know that my rent is paid.
i'm a big procrastinator, i can always do it later.
my friends all tell me that i got it made,
it doesn't really matter. what i have to say,
no one's fucking listening anyway.
so until my days are done, or it's no longer any fun.
i'm gonna bore you to death. life is overrated,
i really want to be sedated.
but i change the channel, and i'm watching days of our lives.
it's so sophisticated, watching programs that i hated.
but i guess it's better than working 9-5.
the life that i'm living, it ain't really living.
but i guess i could be working., so i'm free and clear.
so my only friends tv will always keep my company,
as i am watching soap operas downing cheetos and beer!!

has the power and he's going nowhere,
what is left to ruin?
to the start of something, i'm not buying,
i expect the ruins. you can take my isolation,
also take the pain it brings.
can you move the walls the hold me?
tear them down from everything.
the reason for the grimaced face is what you've had to see.
the other day a story's told to me,
i don't think i listened.
without you things they wouldn't be this way,
can't you make me listen?
think for now i'll fly the seat i fly,
let my imagination grow.
people say i waste my life,
cross my bridges as the burn.
never look back with intentions,
looking back, with no concern.
you coveted what was mine and took my life away.

long nights...wide awake in the empty darkness.
dreading... the alarm that waits at the dawn of day.
i'm anxious... for all the things that i want from life.
i'm tired...now i push my thoughts away.
long day...tired and sore, abused my body,
troubled...i find no peace in what i'm paid.
distracted...the tv takes me from my worries.
absent...of any progress i have made.
i am nothing more than a dreamer, wasting my life.
consumed with my passion,
caught in a world of debts and decisions.
do i lose it forever or do i hold on i am no different,
just one of the masses.
caught up in the task of survival.
i am waiting on days without any worries.
do i lose it forever or do i hold on?...to my dreams.

take me back to yesterday, tomorrow's almost near.
anticipation factors in decision everywhere.
anger fills the mood right now.
there's no more novelties.
hands on the clock moving i'm going nowhere
and the nights are nothing like the nights before.
these same four walls are painted white.
the carpets wearing thin all my friends have left to call.
the silence still disturbs me i'm alone.
pick my pen up it's dried out for sure.
the tv set is broke again.
it's 8:00 o'clock, i'm out the door.
fear myself i'm safe inside these walls.
close my mind nothing gets to me at all.
these days are shorter and he nights are really long.
another night of nothing, like the nothing before.
hands on the clock moving i'm going nowhere
and i wonder why you're still afraid of me.
these same four walls are padded white.

apocalypse at my fingertips,
i can't distinguish what is real.
push the plunger in the warm rush begins.
i'm noddin' off at the wheel.
things haven't been the same since you said good-bye.
i've been doing things i thought i swore i'd never do,
just to stay alive.
if i had blinked, i would have never of met you.
could have lived my life content.
but now here i am fucked up again,
life can be silent torment.
i knew you'd never stay, right from the start.
that's what i get for diving in head first.
my life feels like it's falling apart.
i'm a loser, i'm a failure, i'm a fuck up to the core.
i've been falling down so much,
don't bother getting up anymore.
i can't explain the emptiness that i feel,
as i drive into oblivion, i'm noddin' off at the wheel

here i am in the back again,
whispers something to a friend.
plays the songs like he knew his own,
walk away you're all alone.
separated it's hard for you,
wasting time like you only can.
there's much to say, here you are again.
whoevers' listening this time around,
seem to doubt about your sound.
what's at home, who's life you live?
someone asks and you never give.
what you have nobody wants.
no self esteem, it's your own fault.
in the back again, whispering to that same old friend.
plays the songs their his very own.
walk away you're still alone.

hey you asshole! standing over there.
in the corner bringing all you cheer to me. so what,
you to try hard to make your friends insecurities,
it keeps you going on.
now you're in a class all alone.
you're the leader, and they follow like sheep,
they are and what, yeah,
keep on believing you.
make a difference a superman you're not.
scared inside i see you shaking.
scared inside there's no escaping.

i am tired and confused, i don't know what to do.
i can't stomach this pain any longer, life is at a crossroad.
which way do i go? i can't make a decision for the life of me.
losing my bout with this life, no doubt.
or am i really...just succeeding?
i'm a afraid of getting older,
i feel it getting colder just please don't give me eternity.
follow me on my wasted journey,
i got two ways i can bring you down.
one's for leaving, two's for staying, either way.
don't you ever learn from your own interpreter,
that a lifestyle is begging for mercy.
i can't understand when it's all in my hands.
i don't see it, i don't feel it. as long as i remember,
i will always treasure those times that i actually felt happy.
but for now i stand proud and never speak loud.
and hide all my insecure feelings.
falling prey to your own bad habit,
you realize it's time to get out, happy now, but not quite,
i'm just a little too tired right now.
falling prey, falling prey, don't follow me.
frozen feelings have always been your being.
but the guilt always finds a way in.
not a tear flows through, not a thought,
not a sound. and numbness overwhelms me solo
now i can only reach out for a stray flyer
on my high wire and from the ground to the air
it goes totally unnoticed,
isn抰 it just like that.....so typical.

so you want to put everybody down,
you don't like the way that anybody sounds.
if you don't like it here then why you come around
if you've got nothing valid to say
and won't waste my time saying how long i've been here,
if you can't respect the dues i've paid,
your thinking isn't clear. it really shouldn't matter,
should be only what you hear,
but i don't think you're listening anymore.
spent two hundred thousand miles
with my shit packed in a van,
if the music made us friends,
then the love made us a band.
if you need an explanation then you'll never understand.
this music's just a part of me grew up with the outside opinion,
an outcast of the inside dominion lived
my whole life against the grain.
it always seemed i was one foot out of step.
never do anything that anyone would accept.
if that's someone's fault, i'll take the blame.
so now i got a question, where were you in '84?
i'm still touring in a van, sleeping on a strangers' floor.
what we do today is what we used to do before.
why you want anything more?
gotta prove you're punk so you rebel against the scene.
so elite admit defeat don't know what you really mean.
if the shows all disappear, is that what you want to see?
why you gotta ruin it for me?