NOFX Album

CD lyrics: Hello, Welcome our CD
Can you hear the blatant similarity
To Linoleum and Shadows of Defeat

Vinyl lyrics: Hello, welcome to our disc
Turn it louder, get your neighbors pissed
Or turn it down, it don't matter to me

Cassette lyrics: Hello, welcome to our cassette
Have you started feeling some regret
I guess you can't afford a CD

Can’t you see my soul its on the record sleeve
It’s going up for sale as soon as it gets saved
Interrogation blues, once again I lose

You don’t get to magnify my insecurities
You don’t get to site and save my unhip-ocracies
Not for sale

Take two placebos then you can call me lame
Walk some in my shoes then tell me to fuck off
My oversized hat won’t fit your humongous head

I’ll trade a hundred days for one inside of you

Take me to a cave, where I can’t be seen
Solace makes the heart, pump adrenaline
I’m sick of being used, time and again betrayed

Give a man a key, he cannot not open the door
Give him something free and he’ll sell it to the poor
C’est la vie

Take two placebos then you can call me lame
Walk some in my shoes then tell me that I’m fucked
My humongous hat won’t fit your gigantic head

mom and dad, how'd you get so rad. when exactly did you get so hip?
wearing teenage clothes, you're always coming to my shows,
and telling me that i should mellow out

it's absurd, you're singing every word
you're not suppose to like my band, things i like you don't understand
so please put down that rum and coke, thats no behavior for old folk
can't we just hang on holidays

Dad and mom, what planet are you from
and what convinced you to pack up and leave?
doin drugs and askin me for hugs, whats the matter with parents today?

not again, when will it end?
dad's dressing like motley crue and why is mom's hair died bright blue?
they're staying out 'till 2 or 3 and then having sex publicly
i thought the apple fell far from the tree

mom and dad i think you ought to quit smokin so much pot
and hanging with my friends
laying round, on the couch with my Misfits records out
softly banging your heads

maybe it's just a passing phase
what's the matter with my parents these days??

This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system.
This is the real thing

keep back watch it crumble, see the drowning, watch the fall
I feel just terrible about it, their sarcasm,
Let it burn

I’m gonna make a toast when it falls apart
I’m gonna raise my glass above my heart
Then someone shouts... that’s what they get!

For all the years of hit and run
For all the piss broke bands on VH1
Where did all their money go
Don’t we all know

Parasitic music industry
as it destroys itself
We’ll show them how it’s supposed to be

Music written from devotion, not ambition, not for fame
Zero people are exploited, there are no tricks up our sleeve

Were gonna fight against the mass appeal
Were gonna kill the seven record deal
Make records that have more then one good song

The dinosaurs will slowly die and I do believe no one will cry
I’m just fucking glad I’m gonna be there to watch the fall
Prehistoric music industry three feet in la brea tar
Extinction never felt so good

If you think anyone will feel badly you are sadly mistaken
The time has come for evolution fuck collusion kill the five

What ever happened to the handshake
Whatever happened to deals no one would break
Whatever happened to integrity

It’s still there it always was for playing music just because
A million reasons why all dinosaurs will die

(Monday is my favourite time of year)
I'm gonna tell you what I really think I like about Mondays
Cause they feel like Saturdays
When you don't gotta go to work everyday is a holiday
I wake up when I want to, I do anything I wanna do
Can't wait for Tuesday

I really never liked Fridays (I don't) I can't do what I wanna do (like you)
Sold out at the movies (go out) can't eat at the restaurant (weekend)
Everyone wants a good time but the bar is full of cigarette smoke
I think I'll stay home I think I'll wait for Monday

I live a 5 day weekend I get a year long holiday
Thank God it's Monday
The only place I gotta be is at the show or on the first tee
Thank God for irony
Nevermind aggravation modulation gimme another key

I'll tell you why I like Tuesdays (Wednedays) cause they're kinda like Christmas (to you)
Come to think about it Wednesdays (Thursdays) are a little like Hanakah (everyday is new)
Thursdays Thanksgiving I'm talking about good living
I think I'll give thanks
Thank God it's Monday

Birds are dumb with small bird brains
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk most others sing
I don't see you eat a talking bird

Pigs smell bad and roll in poo
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put them in a mason jar and pickle them

No chowder for you, 'cause clams have feelings too
Actually they don't have central nervous nets
No manhattan style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it they don't have a face

They have no face; no place for ears
And no clam eyes to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery

I don't believe it's selfish
To eat defenseless shellfish

No chowder for you clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too

She had to walk with a silicon cock sticking in her ass
And one in her cunt.
A butterfly strapped tight to her clit,
But who's got the remote control?

That would belong to Louise,
She got a new pet a vaginal tease.
Mommy's litte girl's gonna do what she please,
If she don't wanna get a spankin'

She likes to speak like a six year old brat
"Mommy discipline me, you know I've been bad."
Start with a cat and she'll move to a crop
Neither one is wiling to stop.

She knows that girls just wanna have fun,
With four piercings inside of her labia.
A little luggage lock connecting each one,
Prevents her girl from going astray.

Slut you think you've seen your master mean,
You better lick my puss and asshole clean.
Treat my clit like bubble gum,
Bitch make me cum.

It’s time for bed she’ll secure her head
Between her thighs for a thorough nights suck
Along with this she’ll be drinking her piss
So Louise don’t have to get up.

Two goddesses in love
One resides below one reigns from above
One shown in cuffs while one covets keys
The purgatorial touch of Louise...

got a no string guitar
got a sun bathed head
im a rock n' roll star

i aint no musician
some things are stranger then fishin

know how to beat on a drum
know how to sing out of key
got some prescription drugs

i aint no musician
some things are stranger then fishin

yeah i know what i am chop up another gram
some of us have all the luck
no matter how much we fucking suck

Give her a call for Demorol and amal nitrate
I tell her dad don't worry sir we won't stay out late

I'm in love with her, the Pharmacist's daughter
She's got my love, I get her drugs

Wakin up in the afternoon can't wait to see her
Bringin in some colonopin, I'm huffin Ether
She's the one for me, whthout personality I still want to see her everyday

We got a date and I can't wait to see my baby
If i wine her and dine her she just might sedate me
She's so beautiful she keeps my perscriptions full
She's got my love and I get her drugs

Looks like I've gone and bought the Farmacy

You'll know it when it’s over
Doors are closing feel the sober
staring at you
You know you better take one
last good look

One more round then it’s bottles to
the ground
Smashing of the glass what a
super sonic sound
You gotta pull the plug man when it’s
time to die
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the
ground

There’s a suitcase on the side walk
There’s some records in a milkcrate
She’ll be staying
You’ll be throwing whiskeys over
one lip

One more round then it’s bottles to
the ground
Smashing of the glass an imperfect
perfect sound
You gotta pay the piper when the
rats are gone
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the
ground

One more round then it’s bottles to
the ground (x14)

Go away sunny day(x2)
All the horny people sitting in front
of their TV and thinking
What is wrong with me I’m not a
monster
Why won’t anybody fuck me
I don’t wanna live life lonely
Why does everyone have to be
perfect

Go away sunny day(x2)
All the barflys sipping whiskey
Fighting ever present pity
Wondering what they are sucking
back for
Is it the drink or trepidation,
Watching all trains leave the
station
Left standing alone without a
ticket

You light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And you light up my life

Go away sunny day(x2)
Stop searching cause there’s no
answer
Just a long line of disaster
There’s no simple way to stop the
sadness
Life’s not fair I’m glad it’s not
This isn’t heaven just a lonely
planet
On the verge of self destruction

My vagina has two sets of lips, but I don't get monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used
My vagina's got lots of extra skin, they took my outtie and made it an in
Changing Donnie to Marie Osmand

Operation successful, but now I gotta pee through a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat down and when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Cause I don't want a bladder infection

I never thought I'd miss my vas deferens
I trade it in for a pair of huge cans
Now I get to hang with lesbians

Operation paid up front
Now I show all my friends my new designer cunt
They think I’m kinda weird but that’s ok with me
Cause now I kick their ass playing from the ladies tee
There’s nothing finer than having a vagina

Light the match burn the flower
Leave behind all the wrong
Why be sad when happiness can be bought for a little more than free
Modern day prohibition
Are we men, or are we children
At what age can I choose how to live

The only real drug problem is scoring real good drugs
Haven’t we learned our lesson
The corner store sells finer scotch
But who’s got uncut powder
We just want what is ours dignity

If god created plants and buds that I find and abuse
Then who the fuck are you to judge me?

We're professional punkers we come from the suburbs
After 15 years we're still having fun
Now we're over 30 not looking so pretty at least we got a beat up accordian
That's Erik our drummer his fathers a plumber
He drank enough booze to get rhode island drunk
Now sober but smelly he's got one big belly
From living the good life provided by punk
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 we're doin just fine
Hefe's not satanic he's one hip hispanic
He grew up with one dozen cousins and kin
He wears baggy pants he know how to break dance
You've seen him do every impersonation
That Melvin on six string some tell me I can't sing
Oh I think you can just don't do it round me
Stick with what you know
Playing guitar solo with hetson and watt in punk karaoke
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 we're doin just fine
My name is Fat Mike I'm obsessed with big lesbians
I've been a punk rocker for most of my life
I sing kinda flat I'm not really so fat
But that's how I hit em with hook or a slice
I'm Kent I do sound look his getting so round
I'm Timmy the Turtle he counts as he clicks
I'm Jay I don't care someone please cut his hair
I'm Limo from Scotland so give me haggis
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 we're doin just fine
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing you this song
We a quaalide or chop we a line we're pushin 40 we're doin just fine
Give me a casual, pass me a bong,
Give me Glenlivet I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
If you take the low road then I'll take the high