Let me tell you about a friend She contends she will always love me It's this ability to lie and deceive That has lost me completely I could remind her of the facts Make her calm down and relax But why bother? It's the shallowest defense To my utter astonishment it is over That little girl she wants to leave me That little girl wants something more. I'm optimistically inclined Given time she'll change her mind It's unlikely Let me tell you about a friend She contends she will always love me If you look at her sideways She will let you know Today's the day the earth stole heaven If you look at her sideways She will curse you out Today's the day the earth stole heaven If you look at her sideways There can be no doubt