John Prine Album

I got kicked off Noah's Ark
I turn my cheek to unkind remarks
there was two of everything
but one of me
and when the rains came tumbling down
I held my breath and I stood my ground
and I watched that ship go sailing
out to sea.

Chorus:
Take it back
take it back
oh no, you can't say that
all of my friends
are not dead or in jail
through rock and through stone
the black wind still moans
sweet revenge
sweet revenge
without fail.

I caught an aisle seat on a plane
and drove an English teacher half insane
making up jokes about bicycle spokes
and red balloons
so I called up my local deejay
and he didn't have a lot to say
but the radio
has learned all of my favorite tunes.

Chorus:

The white meat is on the run
and the dark meat is far too done
and the milkman left me a note yesterday
get out of this town by noon
you're coming on way too soon
and besides that
we never liked you any way.

Chorus:

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose

Repeat Chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat Chorus

I know a man who's got a lot to lose
A pretty nice fella, kinda confused
Got muscles in his head that've never been used
He thinks he owns half of this town
He goes out drinkin' gets a big red nose
Beats his old lady with a rubber hose
Then he takes her out to dinner Buys her new clothes
That's the way that the world goes 'round

That's the way that the world goes 'round
You're up one day, the next you're down
It's a half-an-inch of water and you think you're gonna drown
That's the way that the world goes 'round

I was sittin' in the bathtub just countin' my toes
When the radiator broke, water all froze
I was stuck in the ice without my clothes
Naked as the eyes of a clown
I was cryin' ice cubes, hopin' I'd croak
When the sun came through the window, the ice all broke
I stood up and laughed, I thought it was a joke
That's the way that the world goes 'round

That's the way that the world goes 'round
You're up one day, the next you're down
It's a half-an-inch of water and you think you're gonna drown
That's the way that the world goes 'round

That's the way that the world goes 'round
You're up one day, the next you're down
It's a half-an-inch of water and you think you're gonna drown
That's the way that the world goes 'round

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered
Bewildered, Bewildered...

Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy
Unhappy, Unhappy...

Repeat Chorus
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker
Noise-maker, Noise-maker

Repeat Chorus
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
Just Married, Just Married...

Repeat Chorus

Feelings are strange
especially when they come true
and I had a feeling
you'd be leaving soon
so I tried to rearrange
all my emotions
but it seems the same
no matter what I do.

Chorus:
Blue umbrella
rest upon my shoulder
hide the pain
while the rain
makes up my mind
well, my feet are wet
from thinking this thing over
and it's been so long
since I felt the warm sunshine
just give me one good reason
and I promise I won't ask you any more
just give me one extra season
so I can figure out the other four.

Day time
makes me wonder why you left me
night time
makes me wonder what I said
next time
are the words I'd like to plan on
but, last time
was the only thing you said.

Chorus:

I know that you're sad
I know that you're lonely
you lie awake 'till way past when
I want you to know
that I'm leaving you only
'cause I might not get the chance again.

Chorus:
I'm cold and I'm tired
and I can't stop coughing
long enough to tell you all of the news
I'd like to tell you
that I'll see you more often
but often is a word I seldom use
often is a word I seldom use.

Tell me, where did the weekend go?
Tell me, where did the weekend go?
Went like thunder, felt like snow.
Went like thunder, felt like snow.

You must think my life's a circus
watching me laughing
and slapping my thighs
how'd ya like to die
in the house of mirrors
with nobody around to close your eyes.

Chorus:

Going down to the Greyhound station
going back home
and get what's mine
got me a date
with the ten o'clock special
gonna be there at a quarter to nine.

Chorus:

Forty-five minutes
Forty-five cents
Sixty-five agents sitting on a fence
Singing, hey brother
Look what we got for you
We're gonna rope off an area
And put on a show
From the Canadian border
Down to Mexico
It might be the most
Potentially gross
Thing that we could possibly do
Yeah, little buddy gonna get your chance
Make them pubescents all wet their pants
We'll record it live
And that's no jive.
Hold it! Stop it! No! No! No! No!
Bang! went the pistol.
Crash! went the window.
Ouch! went the son of a gun.
Onomatopoeia
I don't wanna see ya
Speaking in a foreign tongue.

Knock! Knock! Hello!
Can I come in?
Gee, that was a wonderful show!
Oh, you haven't gone on yet?
Well, how was I supposed to know?
Hey! We got a great date
It's really downtown
We're gonna get the Grand Canyon
To do the sound
It's a boxing ring
But it might be the thing
To really put you in the dough
Listen little brother, don't ya get us wrong
Why we even know the words to your song
Just say I do
And we'll lay it on you
You! You! And me! Me! Me!
Bang! went the pistol
Crash! Went the window
Ouch! Went the son of a gun
Onomatopoeia
I don't want to see ya
Speaking in a foreign tongue.

Grandpa wore his suit to dinner
Nearly every day
No particular reason
He just dressed that way
Brown necktie and a matching vest
And both his wingtip shoes
He built a closet on our back porch
And put a penny in a burned out fuse.

Chorus:
Grandpa was a carpenter
He built houses stores and banks
Chain smoked Camel cigarettes
And hammered nails in planks
He was level on the level
And shaved even every door
And voted for Eisenhower
'Cause Lincoln won the war.

Well, he used to sing me "Blood on the Saddle"
And rock me on his knee
And let me listen to radio
Before we got T.V.
Well, he'd drive to church on Sunday
And take me with him too!
Stained glass in every window
Hearing aids in every pew.

Repeat Chorus:

Now my grandma was a teacher
Went to school in Bowling Green
Traded in a milking cow
For a Singer sewing machine
She called her husband "Mister"
And walked real tall and pride
And used to buy me comic books
After grandpa died.

Repeat Chorus:

Last night I saw an accident
on the corner of Third and Green
two cars collided and I got excited
just being part of that scene

It was Mrs. Tom Walker and her beautiful daughter
Pamela, was driving the car
they got hit by a man in a lite blue sedan
who had obviously been to a bar.

Chorus:
They don't know how lucky they are
they could have run into that tree
got struck by a bolt of lightning
and raped by a minority.

It was a four way stop dilemma
we all arrived the same time
I yielded to the man to the right of me
and he yielded it right back to mine
well, the yield went around and around and around
till Pamela finally tried
just then the man in the light blue sedan
hit Pamela's passenger side.

Chorus:

Pamela hit her head on the mirror
Mrs Walker got a bump on the knee
the man hit himself in the face and said
"Why does this happen to me?"
the neighbors came out
and they gathered about
saying "Hey! who hit who anyway?"
and the police arrived at a quarter to five
and pronounced all the victims "Okay".

Chorus:

It got so hot, last night, I swear
You couldn't hardly breathe
Heat lightning burnt the sky like alcohol
I sat on the porch without my shoes
And I watched the cars roll by
As the headlights raced
To the corner of the kitchen wall.

Chorus:
Mama dear
Your boy is here
Far across the sea
Waiting for
That sacred core
That burns inside of me
And I feel a storm
All wet and warm
Not ten miles away
Approaching
My Mexican home.

My God! I cried, it's so hot inside
You could die in the living room
Take the fan from the window
Prop the door back with a broom
The cuckoo clock has died of shock
And the windows feel no pane
The air's as still
As the throttle on a funeral train.

Chorus:

My father died on the porch outside
On an August afternoon
I sipped bourbon and cried
With a friend by the light of the moon
So its hurry! hurry! Step right up
It's a matter of life or death
The sun is going down
And the moon is just holding its breath.

Chorus:

Time was once just a clock to me
and life was just a book a biography
Success was something you just had to be
and I would spend myself unknowingly

And you know that I could have me a million more friends
and all I'd have to lose is my point of view
But I had no idea what a good time would cost
till last night when I sat and talked with you.

An apple will spoil if it's been abused
A candle disappears when its been used
A rainbow may follow up a hurricane
And I can't leave forever on a train

And you know that I'd survive if I never spoke again
and all I'd have to lose is my vanity
But I had no idea what a good time would cost
till last night when you sat and talked with me.

You can smile for the lack of something else to do
and no one will laugh and point a finger at you
If your tears didn't always make me feel so bad
would you still cry every time that you felt sad?
I thought I'd heard and seen enough to get along
till you said something neither of us knew
And I had no idea what a good time would cost
till last night when I sat and talked with you.

This nine pound hammer
Is a little too heavy
Buddy for my size
Buddy for my size
So I'm going on the mountain
Just to see my baby
And I ain't coming back
No I ain't coming back

Chorus:

Roll on buddy
Don't you roll so slow
Well, tell me how can I roll
When the wheels won't go
Roll on buddy
Pull you load of coal
Tell me how can I pull
When the wheels won't roll

It's a long way to Harlan
It's a long way to Hazard
Just to get a little brew
Just to get a little brew

And when I'm long gone
You can make my tombstone
Out of number nine coal
Out of number nine coal

Repeat Chorus: