Insane Clown Posse Album

Great Milenko (Ha Ha ha Ha Ha)
Great Milenko (Hm hm Hm hm Ha ha ha ha)
Great Milenko (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Great Milenko (Hm hm Hm hm Ha ha ha ha)

Come one, come all, and witness magic!
I introduce to you an occult sorcerer
Of the ancient craft of Necromancy
A caster of mind-bending illusions
From the nether void of the shadow walkers
A soul from Shangra La, The Great Milenko

Great Milenko (Ha Ha ha Ha Ha)
Great Milenko (Hm hm Hm hm Ha ha ha ha)
Great Milenko (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Great Milenko (Hm hm Hm hm Ha ha ha ha)

Ladies and Gentlemen
Witness the keeper of arcane, wicked voodoo magic
A beguiler of spells, hexes, and curses
With the help of potions, talismans, and ancient relics
From the forbidden realms of the Dark Carnival
Ladies and Gentlemen
The Great Milenko

Great Milenko (Ha Ha ha Ha Ha)
Great Milenko (Hm hm Hm hm Ha ha ha ha)
Great Milenko (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha)

"Serial slaughtering stranglers
Jugging Juggling juggalos
Folded, fat, floppy-tittied freaks
I C fuckin P's in the haugh"

[Violent J]
Abracadabra boom shacka dae
I'm Violent J, and I'm back like a vertebrae
And I come with a hat full of tricks
Trunk full of Faygo, car full of fat chicks
Hahahahahahahaha, fuck you
Wicked clowns, we'd like to say what up to
The Cobra's, X-men, and Counts, and everybody with clown luv
Even sets I've never heard of
Roll into town, and out with the big top
Four cards down, and two more still to drop
And when it does, I pack up and hit the road
Cuz I don't wanna see your head explode
Toss me an axe, and I'll toss you a dead chicken
Add a buck, you get a two-liter with em
And when the genie says on with the show
It's hokus pokus jokers, Great Milenko.

[Chorus (1x)]
Once again, the psychotic carnival creatures in the haugh
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Southwest slithering snakes of darkness come
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Shazam BAM, shocka locka lokey
Shaggy the clown back like scoliosis
Call me a psycho-skitso freak
And I'll call you by your name (dick-anus)
Cuz I can give two shits and a fuck
I bounce down Verner in a popcorn clown truck
I'm a circus ninja southwest voodoo wizard.
I grab your gizzard
Jump on the carpet, let's take a spin
Everybody's waitin for the show to begin
Up to the top, by the neck, and let you go
Try to land in a glass of Faygo
Uh, you suck, you missed the fuckin glass
Broken neck, and busted your fuckin ass
But the genie says on with the show
Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko.

[Chorus (1x)]
What awaits you after death, rub the lamp and explore
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Enter Milenko's Fun House, walk right through the wretched hall
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride

"Fuck em all, fuck em all
Clown dawg, freak dawg
Joker dawg, Milenko dawg"

Fidgets of joker's cards blasting in your mother's face
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride

[Violent J]
Rude Boy and Chucky down wit the clown
First time we ever went to Mexican Town
I remember, we couldn't pay the bill, they got hot
And beat us down in the fuckin parking lot

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Tall Jess, Jump Steady, and Nate the Mack
Tagged ICP by the train tracks
And it was on, the dawn of a new day
Magical carpets screaming down the freeway

[Violent J]
Walked in a gypsy's tent with a food stamp
And walked out with a magical lamp, yeah
I met Milenko, he gave me 3 wishes
That night, I fucked 3 fat bitches

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Then get the fuck with it, forget it
I'll rip your face off, and wipe my ass with it
When the genie says on with the show
Hokus pokus, jokers, Great Milenko

[Chorus (x)]
Climb aboard our magic train and join us inside
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Fifty-two villians, hammered town, the show must go on
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Giant ladies, bearded ladies, midget ladies, ladies!
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Clouds of darkness and underneath them comes the clown
Hokus pokus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride

"Come and get it! Woo!
We got some fresh fills for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch!
So here, start with a slice of this fresh piggy pie, motherfucker!"

[Violent J]
The first little piggy, his house is made of wood
He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood
He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine
A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine
I rode into town with my axe in my holster
Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster
A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out
I drew my ax with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out
Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place
He opened up his door, and popped me in the face
And blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half
But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh (hehe)
Forty in hand, I rose from the dead
And threw with all my might, I made a ping noise off his head
Since we out west, I had a little fun
And pulled his fuckin tongue out the back of his cranium

[Chorus (1x)]
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no), I might use an ax (yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The second little piggy, his house is made of brick
And this little piggy is a motherfucking dick
He sits on his bench and gets all the respect
But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck
He walked in the room, and everybody rose
Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes
First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit
But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet
Now I see the bailiff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck?
I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up
Old-ass man, I let him get away
That tired motherfucker will probably die tomorrow anyway
Here come the piggy, it's time for my case
His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face
He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me to die
So I ragged on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rinds

[Chorus (2x)]

[Violent J]
The last little piggy, his house is made of gold
He lives in a mansion on his own private road
I started walking down it, the guard he told me wait
I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate
Cuz this little piggy, must definitely fry
I'm a lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky
And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil
And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel
People in my city, they fightin for they meals
He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with hundred dollar bills
How rich he is the devil, he never will admit it
So I'm a take his money stack and stuff his face with it
Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed
I grabbed a brick of gold and laid it upside his head
He begged for his life, I told him it's too late
And took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate
Cuz I need...

How many times will I ask myself why, how many times?
How many times will I ask myself why, how many times will I cry? (2x)

[Violent J]
How many times will you honk your horn and say fuck you?
Now what the fuck does that do?
Ya feel better now? I didn't let ya pass
How 'bout I stop my car, and beat your fuckin' ass?
How many times will my neighbor beat his wife?
Somewhere in that house there's a butcher knife
Fuckin' drunk, swingin' his fists about
Why don't she wait till he sleeps then take him out
How many times will I sit in a hot car?
Traffic jam, been sittin' for a fuckin' hour
Must be an accident, I hope nobody died
Finally get there, and the crash is on the other side
The gawkers roll and they creep slow
Hoping they can see a mangled body show
Some park, and stand there and watch it all
With their kids, they point, and fuckin stare (and just look)
I remember one time I was pulled over
Handcuffed, the cop was like, show's over
People watching, hoping that he shoots me
I just wanted to choke the fucking head

[Chorus (2x)]
How many times will I ask myself why, how many times?
How many times will I ask myself why, how many times will I cry?

[Violent J]
How many times will I wait in a line?
It's three-thirty, I fuckin' got here at nine
I'm finally up to the front, can't wait another minute
Why am I here? to pay a fucking parking ticket
The lady at the counter acts like a fuckin bitch
No smiles, no help, you're just a piece of shit
I'm gettin' pissed, calm down, fuck it, forget it
Back to my car, and there it is, another ticket
How many times will a crackhead smoke crack
And ask me for some money cuz he wants crack
Give him money, again, he's coming back
Walk away, and here's another, "Gimme some crack"
How many time will a kid give a dirty look?
A little punk-ass bitch tryin to be a crook
I wrote the book, I was out robbin' liquor stores
When you were just a nut stain in your momma's drawers

[Chorus (2x)]

[Violent J]
How many times will you steal my car stereo?
It don't even work, ya feel like a bitch, don't you?
I vacuum all the fuckin' glass off from my seat
I sit down, and got a piece stuck in my butt cheek
How many times did I walk in, and just sit?
And have to listen, and learn all this bullshit
Learnin' history and science, fuckin' wait
Knowin' that, will that put food on my plate?
Yeah, can I walk into McDonald's, up to the counter
And tell 'em you can make limestone from gunpowder
Will they give me a cheeseburger if I know that shit?
Fuck no, fuck you, and shut your fuckin' lip
How many times will a judge decide my fate?
Who is he? A bitch, nothing great
He takes shits, and fucks his old floppy wife
Plays with his balls and judges my life!

[Chorus (5x)]

"And who the fuck is he?

Voodoo, runnin' from my magic

Brain insane, Shooga whooga bah
Southwest voodoo's in the haugh!
Wicked voodoo, dope dark killer
Magic, dark magic

[Violent J]
Met this kid named Louie Lou
He thought he could fuck with this voodoo
So I turned his head into a lima bean
And then flicked it off his shoulders

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
From Mookan House to Shangra La
Egyptian Pharaoh, coompata
Follow me, and join us as we pray
To the seventeen moons of Coonga Del Ray

[Violent J]
Walked in the lunchroom chantin' spells
With bamboo bitches and voodoo bells
Got my own food, who wants some?
I got possum nipples and raccoon tongue

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
A non-believer once started to laugh
So I launched a fireball up his punk-ass
Then everybody heard him squeal
"This voodoo shit's for real!"
It just takes...

[Chorus (1x)]
A head from a newt, a wing from a bat
A tongue from a snake, a tail from a rat
A neck from a chicken, an eye from a crow
And a little bitty itty bitty little drip of Faygo

[2x]
Brain insane, Shooga whooga bah
Southwest voodoo's in the haugh!
Wicked voodoo, dope dark killer
Magic, dark magic

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Crypt on Verner on a windy night
You see voodoo scribblings in the moonlight
Painted all on the city street
It's the ancient craft of gang bangin
Hey! J! What's in the bag?

[Violent J]
A shrunken head, and shriveled scrotum sac
Why? Ya think voodoo's fake?
Come to the graveyard, I'll make the dead wake

"Raise, raise, shooga-boom ba.
Sleep no longer, raise, quick
Raise, raise, shooga-boom ba,
Leave us alone, you fuckin' punk bitch!"

Well, fuck it, I ain't that good yet
But one day you can bet I'm a freak
We'll make the whole world dance with the dead
And just like my homey said
It only takes...

[Chorus (1x)]

Voodoo running from my magic [3x]
I'll make a voodoo doll out of ya and flick your nuts

[Violent J]
Ticket please, thanks, walk through the door
Into the Halls Of Illusions, visit yours
And see what coulda and shoulda and woulda been real
But you had to fuck up tha whole deal

"Lets take a walk down the hallway
It's a long way it, it takes all day!"

And when you get to tha end, you'll find a chair
With straps and chains, we slap you in there
Lock you down tight so you can't move a thread
And pull your eyelids up over your head
Cuz you're about to witness an illusionary dream
It's just to bad it ain't what it seems

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
You walk in and see two kids on the floor
They playin Nintendo and he's got tha high score
And sittin behind them chillin in a chair
Is your wife, when ya look, oh, you ain't there
It's some other man in the hand in hand
Now she looks so happy you don't understand
See this is an illusion, it never came true
All because of you!

[Violent J]
Back to reality and what you're about
Your wife can't smile cuz ya knocked her teeth out
And she can't see straight from gettin hit
Cuz you're a fat fuckin drunk piece of shit
But it's all good here, come have a beer
I'll break the top off it and shove it in ya ear
And you're death comes wicked painful and slow
At tha hands of MILENKO!

[Chorus (2x)]
Great Milenko, wave your wand
Don't look now, your life is gone
This is all because of you
What you got yourself into

[Violent J]
Look who's next it's Mr. Clark
The dirty old man from the trailer park
You got your ticket? Thanks take your coat off
And later on, why not, I'll rip your throat off

"Lets take a walk down the hallway
It's a long way it, it takes all day"

And when you get to the end you'll find a chair
You see all the blood, yeah your boy was just here
We get all different kind of people comin through
Richies, chickens and bitches just like you
In the Halls everybody gets a turn
To sit and witness your illusion before you burn

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
What do we have here, oh yeah, no way
It looks like your kids and they okay
Your daughter's chillin up in college top grade
And your son's a fuckin doctor, phat paid
They got families and kids and it's all good
They even coach little league in the neighborhood
Is this true have ya really seen tha holy ghost?
Nah, bitch, not even close!

[Violent J]
Back to reality your son's on crack
And your daughter's got nut stains on her back
And they both fuckin smell like shit
And live in the gutter and sell crack to each other
When they were kids you'd beat em and leave em home
And even whip em with the cord on the telephone
And that reminds me man hey ya gotta call
Watch your step to Hell...it's a long fall!

[Chorus (2x)]

[Violent J]
Ah, it's time to pack up and move to the next town
But we forgot Mr. Bigot, okay, dig it
We can't show you an illusion cuz we're all packed
But I'll still cut ya neck out, hows that?

I'm still here under the moon [2x]

[Violent J]
I was just a child but you seemed like so much more
The way you would approach me and drift across the floor
I'd see you in the hall, and you'd kiss me with a smile
I never understood it, was I even worth your while?
The others kids at school, they would hate me and they'd spit
Cuz I was just a no one, to them I wasn't shit
But you would always help me and stand there by my side
We were only seventeen, we'd be together till we died
But then it all happened on the ever dreadful day
Somebody tried to rape you and now I'll make him pay
You pointed him out to me, my thoughts began to race
I took my daddy's forty-five and shot him in the fucking face!!!
I did it all for you, and though I'm facing years
I would do the time just to equal all your tears
The last thing that you told me when I left the courtroom
Is that we'd always be together, cuz we're both under the moon

[Chorus (1x)]
I'll forever love you, even if you're doomed
We'll always be together cuz we're both under the moon

[Violent J]
I sit here in my cell and the walls are made of stone
I justified your pain, but now I sit alone
I write another letter, I write one every day
I never got a letter back, I write em anyway
I try to call collect, your number has been changed
I'm staring at the lightbulb and I start to feel the rage
You never came to visit me, I sit facing the glass
No one's on the other side, now it's in the past
My head is always spinning, I'm pounding at the wall
I feel like I'm forgotten, no sign of you at all
You're probably getting married, you're probably getting fucked
I'll break out of this cage and try to cut that motherfucker up
I curl up in the corner, my body will corrode
My teeth are turning into dust, skin is growing mold
I'm staring at the window of my eternal doom
I know that you are out there, somewhere underneath the moon

[Chorus (1x)]

[Violent J]
Many, many years, many more to go
Does she still remember? God, he only know
I now become a savage, they chain me to a wall
I still can see your body, I still can hear your call
I'm nothing but a maggot, I'm locked away and lost
The world it doesn't want me, my dignity is tossed
And to the girl for whom I feel this doom
Look here, fuck you and the moon

Hey! Fuck you and the moon [5x]

[Chorus (8x)]

I'm still here under the moon

[Violent J]
What is a juggalo?
Let me think for a second
Oh, he gets butt-naked
And then he walks through the streets
Winking at the freaks
With a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
What is a juggalo?
He just don't care
He might try to put a weave
In his nut hair
Cuz he could give a fuck less
What a bitch thinks
He tell her that her butt stinks
And all that

[Violent J]
What is a juggalo?
He drinks like a fish
And then he starts huggin people
Like a drunk bitch
Next thing, he's pickin fights
With his best friends
Then he starts with the huggin again
Fuck!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
What is a juggalo?
A fucking lunatic
Somebody with a rope tied to his dick
Then he jumps out a ten-story window
Oh!

[Chorus (2x)]
What is a juggalo?
A juggalo
That's what it is
Well, fuck, if I know
What is a juggalo?
I don't know
But I'm down with the clown
And I'm down for life, yo

Southwest? (we juggalos)
Down river? (we juggalos)
Jefferson? (we juggalos)
Fuckin everybody (we juggalos)
I'm that juggalugga locoroni
Get the fuck up
Get the fuck the out of here

[Violent J]
What is a juggalo?
A dead body
Well, he ain't really dead, but he ain't like
Anybody that you've ever met before
He'll eat monopoly and shit out connect four

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
What is a jug..?
What the fuck? Connect four?
Man that shit is whack
Don't worry about my shit
Just rap motherfucker

What is a juggalo?
He ain't a bitchboy
He'll walk through the hills
And beat down a rich boy
Walks right in the house
When you're having supper
And dip his nuts in your soup, gloop!

[Violent J]
What is a juggalo?
Well, he ain't a phoney
He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni
And watch you sit there
And finish up the last bit
Cuz your a stupid ass dump fuckin idiot

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
What is a juggalo?
He's a graduate
He graduated from....well
At least, he got a job
He's not a dump puts
He works for himself scratching his nuts

[Violent J]
What is a juggalo?
A Hulkamaniac
He powerbombs motherfuckers into thumbtacks
People like him till
They find out he's unstable
He Sabu'd your momma through a coffee table

[Chorus (1x)]

I'm that juggalugga locoroni
Get the fuck up
Get the fuck the out of here
I'm that juggalugga locoroni
I figured you wouldn't understand

[Chorus (2x)]

Detroit? (we juggalos)
Cleveland? (we juggalos)
St. Louis? (we juggalos)
Everybody? (we juggalos) [3x]
Fuckin everybody? (we juggalos)
Everybody? (we juggalos)

"Hey there, do you like excitement?" (yeah)
"Do you like suspense?" (uh huh)
"Do you like Nel Carter?" (no)
"Good cuz you won't find her here, this is the house of horrors
And for you it's absolutely free, step right in" (thanks)
"Say no more stupid ass, your face says enough"

[Violent J]
Woboogawoo WAAA!! Welcome to the House of Horrors
Were you born in a barn, shut the fuckin door
You see, damn, cuz I'm about to scare you
Blubablubabluba, okay now I dare you
Close your eyes, open up your mouth, and count to ten
Don't wanna, huh, cuz you know my nuts are going in
I'm twisted, I'll cut your finger off, and stick in your butt
Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and glue it shut
This is when I get crazy, lemme show you something
Brrrr! You know what that means, it don't mean nothin, haha
But it scared you cuz people don't be doing that shit
But me brrr! bitch brrr! I'm all about it (brrrr!!!)
Guess what I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit
I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, the silly rabbit, UH!
Cut the lights, see that shit, I'm glowing
Alright, I'm done, turn em back, wait, where you going?
Welcome to the house of horrors

[Chorus (1x)]
Comes from within me
Comes from within me, horrors, eh

"Honey, I'm not having a good time"
"I know. Come on, this must be the way out."

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Hey, what the fuck, come here guys, grab a chair
Don't mind me drinkin' my beer in my underwear
Come on, let's play some cardback, I just gotta story
"Hey keep it down in there Shaggs, what the hell?" sorry
Look at that shit, "what?", you almost got me grounded
I'm a have to take your forehead and pound it
I'll bend you over and tie you up to a pole
And stretch your nuts back and fling em up your butthole
I'm a phantom, listen to me, ahhhhh
That didn't do it? How about this? AHHHH!!!!
I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifying
Did you know that?, "yeah", no you didn't I was lying

"I represent Igors
I'm yelling in town
I'm coming out of southwest
WICKED CLOWNS!!!"

[Violent J]
Bathroom? yeah, it's right there down the hall
Don't flush it though, I'll make dinner for you all
(mumbles) I'm possessed too
Wait a minute, eh, don't leave me yet, hey!
Welcome to the House of Horrors

[Chorus (2x)]

"Honey?"
"What?"
"I'm scared"
"I know, sweety, come on"

[Violent J]
Jump Steady, Nate the Mack, lemme tell you something
With Billy Bill and Rude Boy, what about em, nothing
They're my boys, I just had to give em props
And together we form the cyclops
Hahahahaha look at you, haha, you're a bitch
Should I let your ass go? hahahaha, no
I'll let your bitch out, but you get the bone
Run along sugar tits, he ain't coming home

"The beast lives out of the raging storm in the dead of night
The ravenous, blood-sick creatures searches for it's sacrifice
Through the hideous darkness, it lurches, driven by death itself
Only the satisfaction of slaughter will cause it to return to
The darkness from which it came"

Boogie woogie woogie woogie wu [2x]

[Violent J]
Boys and girls, it's nighty night time
Happy J the Clown has a nursery rhyme
It's about, The Boogie Woogie Man
Keep your light on as long as you can
Cuz when it cuts off, so does your head
Boogie Woogie Woogie waits under your bed
With a shank, splah!, up through the bottom
Little Jimmy Jimmy, uh, got em

"It's the one and only Boogie Man
He creeps, he hides, he sneaks, he slides
If your little feetsies are hanging off the edge of the bed
You're running on stumps motherfucker!!!"

[Violent J]
Well, moonlight fills the room that you sleep in
Things go bump in the night, me creeping
Ouch! Fuck! I stubbed my toe
If you'd just quit leaving your shit all over the fucking floor
Fuck it, you're dead anyway
And I'm gonna leave your head smack dead in the hallway
In the morning, when your daddy walks out
AAAAHHH!!! His foots in your mouth, thanks to the Boogie Man

[Chorus (1x)]
Boogie woogie woogie woogie wu (here comes the boogie man)
Boogie woogie woogie woogie wu (haha haha haha haha)
Boogie woogie woogie woogie wu (make way for the boogie man)
Boogie woogie woogie woogie wu (mom! dad! ah! no!)

[Violent J]
"Does the Boogie Man really exist?"
Well, is your mother a bald-headed freak bitch? yes
You fall asleep and you wake up dead
With a broken broom sticking out your forehead
I sing lullabies till you dose off
Tie you down and chew your fuckin toes off
And then spit em out back in your face
Splat! Fuck, wash your feet bitch!

"The world's famous Boogie Woogie Wu will come to you
Slumber parties, sleepovers, intimate nights
Whatever the occasion for the midnight hour
He will gladly come and fuck that shit up"

[Violent J]
I don't beat woman, fuck that, I'm above it (no no)
But I'll cut her fucking neck and think nothing of it
"I bet you didn't know the Boogie Man was a clown
But when you see the juggla, your holding your jugular"
With a swing, chop, stab, swing, chop
You're holding your neck together, but your nuts drop
And the cops do the best they can
They pull the axe out your face and say
"Was it the Boogie Man?"

[Chorus (1x)]

"Please don't let me fall asleep
Cuz the Boogie Man will creep
Through my window in my room
Stab me with a broken broom
Please don't let me fall sleep
Cuz the Boogie Man will creep
Through my window in my room
Stahhh... Boogie Woogie Woogie!"

"It's the incredible, undeadable Boogie Man
Go ahead, pull the covers over your head
Hide under them, he don't give a fuck
It'll just make it that much more easier
For him to suffocate your face!"

[Violent J]
There's three ways to stop me from doing what I do
What? you think I'm a tell you
"Mom, can you leave the door open a bit?"
Thanks, an easy way in, you fucking idiot
Now I stretch your neck out and play in like a banjo
Boomchicka boomchicka like that shit, yo?
Then I stretch it out more and fling your head through the wall
It's the Boogie Man y'all

"Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what's your question?"

"Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick"

[Violent J]
Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"
Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear

"Now, let's me contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon, let's hear your question"

"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?"

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here
I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!)
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I'd be blowing fucking nuggets off all day
I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playin
As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!

"Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon
It's a touch choice so far
Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"

"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!"

[Violent J]
Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rickie Lake!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Fuck that, you'd be jocking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

[Violent J]
Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better
Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap
Shit, you don't want contestant number two
He's mad-whack

[Violent J]
I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up by a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama

"Give God the first portion of your income, say that with me,
Give God the first portion of your income. Give it first!
Not after deducts, not after the social security, and the
hospitilization, and the malnutrition. Not after all these
things on your check you say, I'm gonna give God a little what's
left. You do, and that's what you gonna get from God."

[Violent J]
Who am I? I'm not the Devil
I can take you to my level
Above the rocks, above the earth
Tell me what your soul is worth
How much money do you make?
How much will you let me take?
I will give you tranquility
Just send your wealth and checks to me
Life is going to expire
And your soul will burn in fire
You will perish in the thunder
Unless you call my hotline number
God has asked you to make me rich
Me and my fat-whack gaudy bitch
On your T.V.'s late at night
Send those checks and I'll guide you to the light

"Don't put away your wallets just yet, brothers and sisters. There's
somebody here I'd like all of you to meet. This is little Jonathan.
Jonathan, say hello to the lovely people, (hello). Jonathan has
problems. Twisted neck, tangled legs, crooked spine, but we can heal
this boy. For just, uh, six thousand dollars, we can heal this boy!"

[Violent J]
God had called me and then stopped by
And he told me you're gonna die
Unless you buy my holy water
Check, cash, or a money order
This is true, don't question me
I'll even send you shit for free
It's only ten bucks for the call
And I'll send a prayer, no charge at all
Put your lips up to the screen
Close your eyelids and intervene
Your lips to mine, now send the cash
And while you're there, you can kiss my ass
Take your paycheck and send me half
And I'll send you God's autograph
I'll get Allah's and Buddha's too
Even Zeus, I don't give a fuck who
Just send me that money

"Would you like to healed, little Jonathan? (yes, reverand).
You see brothers and sisters, this...(beep-beep beep-beep)
Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes?
Uh-huh. Hallalujah. Outty. People, that was the lord, today only,
he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!"

Pass the collection plate (show-show me how you give)
Pass the collection plate (g-give-give, how to live)
Pass the collection plate (show-show-show me how you give)
Pass the collection plate (show me how you give, I'll tell you how to live)

[Violent J]
Your total's twenty-two eleven
For your set of keys to heaven
Make the checks out in my name
Me or God, it's all the same
Bring your crippled ass to me
Pay my usher the holy fee
I'll bless your legs and bless your chair
Then wheel your bitch-ass outta here
Now a special ceremony
This part don't cost any money
Drip a drop of blessed water
Now I fertalize your daughter
Even though I fucked a hooker
Took your baby girl and shook her
You still buy everything I sell
And I'm living well
See you in Hell!

"Four-thousand, eight-hundred, nine-hundred, five thousand
Hallalujah, you did it brothers and sisters. Are you ready, Jonathan?
(yes, reverand) Lord Almighty, we've met your price, give me the
healing power, I can feel it, Lord! Roomy loomy lama noma noomy!
This boy is healed. (really?) Now to the naked eye, it would appear
that this boy has not been healed, but I can assure you, this boy's
spirit has been healed. Inside this tangled, mangled frame is a healed

This one goes out to the ninjas
Thats been down since Carnival of Carnage
Nah, fuck that, since Dog Beats
Nah, fuck that, since Basement Cuts, motherfucker

[Violent J]
How long will the juggalos be down with me?
How long till they forget me? Check it out
What if I grew another fucking head?
And his name was Violent Ed?
And he head butt me every time I cussed?
I would need two microphones when I bust
Would you show me love even with another head
Or would you be like, "Fuck you and Ed"?
Or what if I sold out like a bitch?
And took the make-up off and went soft?
Called myself Detroit Southwest Lover
And put my ugly ass face on the album cover
With R & B top ten hits
And we had Jodeci singing all over our shit (aaahhhh!!!!)
Fuck that, though, yo, I'm a juggalo
So don't forget me like you did with Menudo

[Chorus (1x)]
What about when the world's like fuck us kill us, what will you be? (down)
What about when I'm 103, what will you be? (down, down)
What about when the world's like fuck us kill us, what will you be? (down)
What about when the carnival comes to your town? (i'm a be down with the clown)

[Violent J]
How long will you be down with a ghetto puppet
I say I'm sick in the nugget and you love it
I ate a dead body, I ain't proud of it
I told you all about it, and you all applauded (HEY!!)
I got problems, I'm haunted by a carnival
I could run and tell a doctor, but what for
I just put it on tape with a fat beat
And make a quick buck, I'm like fuck
I could of came out sportin some Hammer pants
Kick-steppin with Shaggs, and tryin to dance
Making mom happy, keeping it soft
I'd rather grab my dick and tell your mom to fuck off!
I know then you'd probably start to trip
And swing at me, but hit Violent Ed in the lip
Look I don't even know what I'm trying to say
Just don't forget me like you did with ??

[Chorus (1x)]

I'm a be down, I'm a be down

[Violent J]
Jump out of bed and I head for the grapenuts
Eat em quick or they soggy and that sucks
Trying to find a clean pair of socks and a shirt
Still sporting the same drawers even though they hurt
In the fridge, there's a Faygo, it tastes ill
Cuz it's flatter then a bitch on a big wheel
I got a few money back and a little change
So I'm heading to the store when the phone rings
"What up man, check it out, I know this bitch
She's got another friend with her and her dad's rich
If we find us a ride out to Wyandotte
Guarenteed, we can fuck em both on the spot"
Oh shit, let me call Bill Bill
I wanna let my nuts through the windmill
He ain't home, fuck, I'll call Mike Clark
Cuz I know he can get the fuckin Skylark
He said he can, but he's broke and it needs gas
But I wanna buy these Faygo, think fast
I know my brother Jump Steady's got a few bones
But that's going through his shit when he ain't home
"Nevermind J, Legs loned me a ten
No need to get punched in your head again
Tell Mike to scoop me up right away
And it's Faygo and neden hoes all day"
Fuck yeah, I throw my Pro Winds on my feet
Lock the house, and wait for em in the street
I wish I had a piece of gum or something fuck
My mouth still kind of tastes grapenuts
Here they come, nope, wasn't them
Seems like the same car's driving by again
It pulls up, "hey man, you're outta luck"
What, what ya say man
[gunshot]

"Does this excite you? Think about it! Does it not stagger the
imagination? No builder on earth can concieve any structure to
compare to the mansions above. Won't that be something when you go
to live in your own mansion? There'll be no concern about paying for it,
it's already taken care of. There'll be no worry about veing moved out
of it. It will be yours forever."

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
I got shot, ah!, the murder was heinous
The bullet went in my eyeball and out my anus
And I was hit, that was it, on the spot
Flash, I woke up in a parking lot
And I'm sittin in a '64 Reinkeys
With Shaggy Dope written on the car keys
I look around I can't believe that it's possible
I'm dead, and I made it to the carnival
I walk in, it's everything I dreamed of
Everybody and they momma got clown luv
Japanese, Lebanese, and Chinese,
Portuguese, and southwest ghetto g's. (woowoo)
Hangin' out with redneck truck drivers
Instead of always givin' each other piledrivers
I see my old homey, he died in a drag
Chillin with two bitches, "What up, Shaggs?"
And he passed me a blunt like a tree trunk
I tried to hit it, but couldn't even fuck with it
And to think, I always been afraid to die
But I ain't never goin back to wonder why.

[Chorus (2x)]
We all gonna die, but I'm not gonna fry
Even though most never try
I'm not gonna let this pass me bye, no

[Violent J]
I was born, first, they threw me in a shit pile
I dealt with it, and lived there for a while
I got dissed on, pissed on, and beat down
Mutilated, and tossed out a dead clown
Next thing ya know, I'm chillin' at the big top
Free money, and mad bitches non-stop
No water, it's Faygo on tap
I wash my hair, and my face, and my butt-crack with it
Cuz I can, cuz I'm phat paid
I got a five story funhouse with a maid
And she walks around with her titties hanging out
And when I cough, she come and dust my balls off (woowoo)
I'm headed up to the show, I'm gonna see
Jimi Hendrix, Selena, and Eazy E
Elvis tried to open up but got dissed off
We got pissed off, because he sounded like butt
There's no fights, it's a perfect match
Hillbillies in the crowd tryin' to cabbage patch
And to think, I've always been afraid to die
But I ain't never goin back to wonder why.

[Chorus (2x)]

[Violent J]
Did ya ever burn your finger on somethin? hey
Well picture this, your nuts burnin that way
And a roman candle stickin' in your butthole
That's where the greedy skank motherfuckers go

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
This is all hell now, we livin' in it
But this bullshit'll be over in a minute
Then it's off to the Faygos and neden hoes
New clothes, and patent leather for your toes (woo-woo)

[Violent J]
And while you sit around cryin' for your dead friend
He's chillin' up there, paid, getting mad ends
He's probably there tryin to figure out why you're sad
He's on the beach gettin' fat, you got it bad

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
And for those who ain't down for the next man
Who rob from the poor, and snatch all ya can
And any chicken talkin' shit, lemme tell ya something
Hold a lighter to your balls, and you'll see what's coming

[Chorus (2x)]

"Does this excite you? Think about it! Does it not stagger the
imagination? No builder on earth can concieve any structure to compare
to the mansions above. Won't that be something when you go to live
in your own mansion? There'll be no concern about paying for it,
it's already taken care of. There'll be no worry about veing moved out
of it. It will be yours forever."