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Half Man Half Biscuit




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Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics

"For What Is Chatteris..." lyrics



One-way system smooth and commendable
Go by bus - they're highly dependable
The swings in the park for the kids have won awards
The clean streets, acknowledged in the Lords

But what's a park if you can't see a linnet?
A timetable if your journey's infinite?
My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute
For what is Chatteris without you in it?

Car crime's low, the gun crime's lower
The town hall band's CD, it's a grower
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce
SongtexteAlthough there was a drive-by shouting once

But there's a brass band everywhere
And I don't drive, so I don't care
And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square :
"What's Chatteris if you're not there?"

Like a game bird reserve, short on pheasants
Weavers Cottages devoid of tenants
A market town that lacks quintessence :
That's Chatteris without your presence

Three good butchers, two fine chandlers
An indoor pool and a first class cake shop
Ofsted plaudits, envy of the Fens
Prick barriers at both ends

But what's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
I may as well be in Ely or St. Ives...

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