Frank Zappa Album

Spider: This is Phaze III. This is also...
John: Well,get trhough Phaze I & II first.
Spider: Alright, alright. Here's Phaze I...
F.Z.:The audience sits inside of a big piano and they listen to it grow.
Spider: People are going to sit inside of a piano. They're going to listen to
this piano grow.
John: They're going to listen to the piano grow?
Spider: Listen!...
Monica: This is going to turn into a...
Spider: It's going to turn into another Haight-Ashbury.Remember how we
commercialized on that scene?
John: That was a really good move.
Monica: Oh! That was a confession.
Spider: Right man..and all it was was like people sitting in doorways freaking
out tourists going "Merry Go Round! Merry Go Round!
Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do!" and they called that "doing their thing".
John: Oh yeah, That's what doing your thing is!
Spider: The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

[No lyrics]

Louis, Roy & Motorhead dicover each other

Gilly: Ohh, Umm. Hmm.

Girl1: Thats how long I've been here. I've been here ever since, ever since it got dark I've been here.

Louis: How did you get in my home? This is my piano. Howdid you get in here ?

Motorhead: I thought it was my piano.

Louis: It's mine.

Roy: Since when ?

Louis: Since about 10 years ago its mine.

Roy: You sure ?

Louis: Yes positivly.

Roy: No, it was mine.

Louis: This is a smal Place, you must be blind you know.

Motorhead: Where were you at ?

Roy: Could have been one nine ... No, it couldn't have been one-nine-oh...

Louis: It couldn't have been any more...How about try, just try 'G'...

Roy: How did you happen to get in here ?

Louis: My mother said to me "You're a bad boy, Louis the Turkey. You'd better, you'd you you you'd better go on È'and you'll never see the world... you're a bad boy 'cause you went to the bathroom on the floor'you know ?

Motorhead: Did they make you clean it up ?

Louis: No they made me eat it.

Roy: Ooh.

Girl 1: What's it like when... when they play piano ? Does it hurt your ears ?

Larry: No, I found a corner.

Girl 1: Yeah.

Larry: Yeah.

Girl 1: Soundproof.

Larry: Well, not really soundproof but it doesn't bother you as much as outside...you you snek in.

Girl 1: Lucky you found such a big piano, you know.

Larry: You sneak under the back, see ? Way here down here. Get way down here here inside and when you hide in the corner, nobody can find you. See, they can't here nothing 'cause it's cushioned.

Girl 1 and Larry appear in another area.

[No lyrics]

Louis: Yes . . .
Roy: I kind of miss him
Louis: Yeah, me too
Roy: Getting on top of him and all
Louis: He had a very nice body too
Roy: Yeah, even though he was a, a . . . Oh well
Louis: A dual personality, you know
Roy: Yeah
Louis: We have to think of what he's doin' out there?
Roy: What did he go out there for anyway?
Louis: Maybe . . .
Roy: Maybe he wanted to get on top of one of those horse . . . ponies
Louis: Yes, maybe he wants to have intercourse with them!
Roy: What?
Louis: Intercourse!


Roy: Well, if he doesn't get clawed first
Louis: Yes, that's right. But, maybe, maybe he will find a real nice, a very nice kind horse, you know
Roy: A horse, yeah horse. Whore-sss
Louis: Boogey-man or something. Something out there. You might find a nice kind . . .
Roy: Boogey-man?
Louis: Well, something, you know. I don't know what it is myself - a horse - 'cause human beings, decent human beings. Nice place to live
Roy: Beans? You call them human beans?
Louis: And then before they turn to be boogey-men or . . .
Roy: That's why they came into the Steinway
Louis: Yes, that's why 'cause I just couldn't take them anymore, you know. They were vicious, too vicious. So I had to go, I had to, I had to come in here
Spider: Like, we can't understand what they're saying to each other
John: I know

[No lyrics]

Spider: I think I can explain about about how the pigs' music works
Monica: Well, this should be interesting
Spider: Remember that they make music with a very dense light
John: Yeah
Monica: O.K.
Spider: And remember about the smoke standing still and how they they really get uptight when you try to move the smoke, right?
Monica: Right
John: Yeah?
Spider: I think the music in that dense light is probably what makes the smoke stand still. As soon as the pony's mane starts to get good in the back any sort of motion, especially of smoke or gas, begins to make the ends split
Monica: Well don't the splitting ends change the density of the ponies' music so it affects the density of the pigs' music, which makes the smoke move which upsets the pigs?
Spider: No, it isn't like that


John: Well, how does it work?
Spider: Well, what it does is when it strikes any sort of energy field or solid object or even something as ephemeral as smoke, the first thing it does is begins to inactivate the molecular motion so that it slows down and finally stops. That's why the smoke stops. And also have you ever noticed how the the smoke clouds shrink up? That's because the molecules come closer together. The cold light makes it get so small, this is really brittle smoke
John: And that's why the pigs don't want you to touch it
Spider: See, when the smoke gets that brittle what happens when you try to move it is it disintegrates
John: And the pigs get uptight 'cause you know they, they worship that smoke. They salute it every day
Monica: You know we've got something here
John: And, and, and, and that's the basis of all their nationalism. Like if they can't salute the smoke every morning when they get up . . .
Spider: Yeah, it's a vicious circle. You got it

Spider: I think I can explain about about how the pigs' music works
Monica: Well, this should be interesting
Spider: Remember that they make music with a very dense light
John: Yeah
Monica: O.K.
Spider: And remember about the smoke standing still and how they they really get uptight when you try to move the smoke, right?
Monica: Right
John: Yeah?
Spider: I think the music in that dense light is probably what makes the smoke stand still. As soon as the pony's mane starts to get good in the back any sort of motion, especially of smoke or gas, begins to make the ends split
Monica: Well don't the splitting ends change the density of the ponies' music so it affects the density of the pigs' music, which makes the smoke move which upsets the pigs?
Spider: No, it isn't like that
John: Well, how does it work?
Spider: Well, what it does is when it strikes any sort of energy field or solid object or even something as ephemeral as smoke, the first thing it does is begins to inactivate the molecular motion so that it slows down and finally stops. That's why the smoke stops. And also have you ever noticed how the the smoke clouds shrink up? That's because the molecules come closer together. The cold light makes it get so small, this is really brittle smoke
John: And that's why the pigs don't want you to touch it
Spider: See, when the smoke gets that brittle what happens when you try to move it is it disintegrates
John: And the pigs get uptight 'cause you know they, they worship that smoke. They salute it every day
Monica: You know we've got something here
John: And, and, and, and that's the basis of all their nationalism. Like if they can't salute the smoke every morning when they get up . . .
Spider: Yeah, it's a vicious circle. You got it

Monica: D-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-k W-a-a-a-t-e-r-r-r
Spider: Yeah, it's trying to say something . . .
Monica: D-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-k-k-k W-a-a-a-t-e-r-r-r
Spider: I know . . . It's not trying to say something to us at all . . . It's trying to say something to the pig
John: Dark water . . .


Spider: I forget . . . It's . . .
John: Dark water on top of the muck

Monica: D-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-k W-a-a-a-t-e-r-r-r
Spider: Yeah, it's trying to say something . . .
Monica: D-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-k-k-k W-a-a-a-t-e-r-r-r
Spider: I know . . . It's not trying to say something to us at all . . . It's trying to say something to the pig
John: Dark water . . .
Spider: I forget . . . It's . . .
John: Dark water on top of the muck

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Left me here to cry alone
With a bottle of juice & a pork chop bone
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Gave my money all to you-oo
Took my watch and pawned it too-oo
Two gold teeth and one glass eye
Didn't have the nerve to say goodbye

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

You treat me funky baby
And some day you'll have to pay
I ain't such a fool that I would let you go
And treat me this way
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-oh-o-oo-oh

Motorhead: He's in the wrong piano
Louis: No, you're in the wrong piano
Roy: No . . .
Motorhead: This is a Steinway
Louis: You are!


Roy: It's not a Baldwin . . .
Motorhead: Yeah
Roy: It's not even a Wurlitzer
FZ: Saliva can only take so much

Spider: Saliva can only take so much
Louis: Well I got sores. I got my skin burnt uh cut open a couple times. It felt good. Wow, it felt good. And I really, I really climaxed
Girl

Buffalo voice!

Ah!
Buffalo voice!

Gilly: I'd like to be . . . someplace else right now. It's much too crowded in here. Where would I like to be?
Girl

[No lyrics]

Monica: A kayak . . . on snow . . . a mountain
Spider: There's a mountain on the beach?
Monica: It was under the beach
John: A mountain under the beach?
Monica: Yeah
John: How did you get to it?
Monica: We didn't, it found us


Spider: It came up through the beach?
Monica: No, it never came up. And the moon, the moon was shining on the sand. And we saw the mountain with the snow
John: Underneath?
Monica: Underneath
Spider: Did you see any of those little worms like . . . like were in the mud?

I. Negative Light
II. Venice Submerged
III. The New World Order
IV. The Lifestyle You Deserve


V. Creationism
VI. He Is Risen

Louis: Ah, I wish Motorhead would come back. Oh wow, Motorhead . . . Motorhead . . . Where are you Motorhead?
Roy: He's probably getting eaten by one of those ponies
Louis: Yes
Roy: Maybe he's out there playing with motors


Louis: Motors?! Motors? . . . No! no! no!

[No lyrics]

Louis: RAAAH! ATTACK! ATTACK! Attack and get on ee, eee, each pony or . . . boogey man or something
Roy: Sure, aren't you glad I'm not too hairy . . .
Louis: Yeah . . .
Roy: . . . Too hairy! . . . heh, heh
Louis: . . . That beats . . . yes . . . (Louie laughs like a turkey)
Roy: . . . That's why they have a lot of crabs . . .
Louis: . . . Yes, and um . . .
Roy: . . . A set of crabs?!


Louis: Crabs are really dangerous, and they r-r-rich as fires and every once in a while you walk in the streets and when I . . . when I heard of these from, from talk from my, from my home here, my piano!
Gilly: Huh, my piano . . . It's still dark in here . . . It's the same as it ever was . . . I'm here . . . (sigh) I'm not the same as I ever was

Gilly: Either you're here and I'm here or I'm very different . . .
Girl

[No lyrics]

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Left me here to cry alone
With a bottle of juice & a pork chop bone
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Gave my money all to you-oo
Took my watch and pawned it too-oo
Two gold teeth and one glass eye
Didn't have the nerve to say goodbye

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

You treat me funky baby
And some day you'll have to pay
I ain't such a fool that I would let you go
And treat me this way
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-oh-o-oo-oh

Frank Zappa (synclavier)
Ensemble Modern

Ich bin grad reinkommen
(I just came in)
und da hab i gsehn, dass
(and I noticed that)
da so viel Platz is
(there is so much room here)

[someone says that this is not the 'UN man..']

Ich versteh kein Wort
(I don't understand a word)
Ich bin do in dem Klavier
(I am in this piano and )
drinne und's klingt so komisch
(it sounds so strange)

[someone says 'this ain't CNN'...]

Do kommt ma scho rum in dem Klavier
(you sure get around in this piano)

[someone says 'my fist speaks English...']

I net, i net, wenn i red no red i
(Not me, not me, when I speak I do)
scho bayrisch
(speak bavarian)

[A different voice in German:]

Bevor ich hier reingekommen
(Before I came in here, I had a)
bin, da hab ich ein Patrami
(Pastrami sandwich,)
sandwich gegessen, es war gut
(it was good)

Gebt's ihm doch ein Pony,
(Give him a Pony, yes, give him)
jo, gebt's ihm ein Pony
(a Pony)

[then they talk about 'room service' and how to make a phone call from a payphone.]

Ah, a Zahltelefon
(Ah, a payphone)

[You hear again a different voice in German. This is a commercial for a German phone service company:]

Telefonkarte
(Phone credit card)
Qualitaet und Sicherheit
(Quality and security)
aus einer Hand
(from one source)

Wir sind Deutschlands
(We are Germany's)
Kommunikationsgesellschaft
(communication company)

Drei Null Eins Eins Null Drei Eins Eins Drei Sechs
(3 0 1 1 0 3 1 1 3 6)

Qualitaet und Sicherheit
(Quality and security)
aus einer Hand
(from one source)

TELECOM
(TELECOM)

[then it goes on until 'Rap .. HIP HOP ...']

Sonate - das ist Musik
(Sonata (or serenade?)- that's music)

Mozart, Mozart

Mondscheinsonate
(Moonlight serenade)

Des klingt so grauenhaft
(This sounds so awful)
des moecht i fei nimmer hoeren
(I don't want to hear this anymore)

FZ: Tonight you guys are going to try and figure out the pigs' musicSpider: You see if we understood it, maybe we could help the pigs understandJohn: Nah, the problem with that is you think the pigs are essentially kind at heart . . .Spider: Aw, I didn't say that . . .John: But the pigs are essentially pigs

John: If we could either move the smoke or if we turn the cold light on it and shrink it so they can't even salute it . . .Spider: It's . . . it's really . . . It's sort of the opposite event. You see it was a long time ago when Pigs and Ponies used to inter-breed with people on farms . . . and they reached a state where . . . where like the pigs were . . . communicable. They brought 'em in and tried . . . tried to teach them things. They're just as likely to live in the ocean as anywhere else . . . Wouldn't get rid of them, really. Just means that the ocean would be just as unsafe as every other place. That's what happened. Ya know, they tried to put 'em places where they wouldn't make it, but they made it anywayJohn: They wanted to use yaks, tooPig With Wings: EE . . . EE . . . EE . . . EESpider: What's that?John: That's the Pig with Wings

[No lyrics]

[Artis the Spoonman spoons]

Moon: This is all wrong. This is all wrong
FZ: The pigs run the city, the ponies run the TV station and you wanted to apply for a job
Spider: Some of them wear these jackets that are made out of polished animal skins. It's called leather
John: Leather?
Monica: Oh, and their tight black pants
Spider: It's sort of like plastic, only it's made out of animals
Larry: It's sad, ain't it?
Monica: Yeah
Larry: Um, you can't win 'em all
Moon: Oh!
Mike: Sweetheart . . .
Moon: What?
Mike: If we go to the . . . we could probably be alone
Moon: Yeah
Ali: Wo?
Moon: . . . could drink coffee . . .


Ali: Ja! Kaffe war a scho guat, aba des is a Klavier . . .
Mike: I want some soul food . . .
Moon: . . . it's a heartbeat and it feels like a . . .
Mike: Have you seen "Jungle Fever"?
Moon: . . . a big . . .
Ali: Ha, ha gordum once, sinemaya gittim ben . . .
Mike: "Jungle Fever." The girl with the big butt?
Ali: Bak, bu piyanonun icinde nereden sinema buldun sen?
Moon: This must have been what the brochure was talking about. They said you'd . . . you'd feel a . . . a kind of a serenity . . . a feeling of peace of . . . of . . .
Mike: Hey, why, why don't you shut up?!
Ali: Cocuklar, siz saatlerce kahveden birsey anlatiyorsunuz, ama burada . . . ah, bunlarda acayip sarkilar soyluyorlar . . . acayip, degilmi? Yagmurda basliyor . . .
Moon: . . . entering into a different realm . . . I can't remember the name of it . . .
Mike: Hey, yo man . . . I don't like all this waterfall action
Moon: . . . and I guess that's where most of the part of it's . . . I . . . guess it's all about resolving past crime and everything . . . and . . . also . . . about . . .
Ali: Bence . .

[No lyrics]

Spider: Flowing inside out creates neutral energy. Now, that makes the light get thick. Then you've got this converter, and what that does, is, it takes this really thick light and . . . it rams it into this little compressor which then sucks the water out so that it envelops the bathtub in this big halo . . .
FZ: A halo of mu-messons
Spider: A halo of mu-mesons. And the whole problem here is that all you have to do is take that little modulator out and . . . uh . . .


John: Reverse the phase on it

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Left me here to cry alone
With a bottle of juice & a pork chop bone
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Gave my money all to you-oo
Took my watch and pawned it too-oo
Two gold teeth and one glass eye
Didn't have the nerve to say goodbye

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

You treat me funky baby
And some day you'll have to pay
I ain't such a fool that I would let you go
And treat me this way
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-oh-o-oo-oh

[No lyrics]

John: Maybe the kayak is just a big worm
Monica: I found that to be a possibility
Spider: The worms stop in the tunnels sometimes
John: Where are the tunnels?
Spider: They're in the muck


John: In the muck?
Spider: Yeah, you saw the muck
John: But, you know, whenever I try to tunnel into muck, it always collapses on me

John: Then we can sell them ladders, 'cause they're gonna have to have ladders to get into the piano, right?
Spider: Yeah, when it starts growing
John: Right . . . we set 'em down and, like, we turn the lights down and turn on the red ones
Monica: What're you gonna do, stoop to strobe lights or . . . ?


Spider: Ah, no, no

Mike: You're just insulting me, aren't you? It's not funny, man
Ali: . . . tabii ya, tabii, tabii . . . eh, eh . . .
Mike: It's not funny . . . It ain't funny. He's just been talking about me for ten minutes
Moon: . . . be alone . . . with yourself inside a piano or . . . whatever . . . your piano . . . it's . . . it's really a metaphor for that . . . that spirit . . . that feeling of oneness . . .
Ali: Siz saatlerce, saatlerce konusuyorsunuz burada, yani, . . . artik biktim burasindan, be! Oturup boyle birsey . . . birsey bulsak da biz simidi, yani . . .
Moon: It's, It's . . . it's . . . fulfillment . . .
Mike: Fulfillment. I got something fulfilling, baby
Moon: The sages talk about this . . .
Ali: . . . sen soyleme . . .
Mike: Hey, yo my man . . . Hey, yo my man . . . worrrr d'up man . . . worrrrr d'up!
Ali: Des is a piano
Mike: This is a piano
Ali: Des is a piano
Todd: And why are we in it?
Ali: Des is a piano
Mike: A piano!
Ali: A piano . . . des is a piano . . .


Mike: Piano!
Ali: Klavier
Todd: Oh! I thought it was the men's room . . .
Mike: Piano!
Moon: Piano
Ali: Das es kein Computer
Mike: This ain't a computer!
Ali: Das es kein Computer! I sag des so oft, bis die des merken, verstehst . . .
Moon: Piano . . . that's a beautiful word. It can take you to that place inside yourself where you . . .
Mike: You still talking about the place but you ain't thinking about dis place: the piano!
Todd: Piano! Piano!
Moon: What I'm saying is that it doesn't matter how you get here

Gilly: That's it exactly, I guess. About Tom, no, no but to me all different . . . um . . . but I guess Tom was a human-is a human being with . . . feelings and sorrow

John: You know as well as I do that cold light generation depends on your state of health and energy
Spider: I'm gonna turn on a cold light
Moon: Don't you get it?
Todd: No, not at all
Moon: Don't you get it?
Todd: Not as often as I'd like to
Moon: I get it . . . It's weird . . . It's like . . .
Mike: Yo, I hear music!
Ali: Musik?
Mike: Music!
Ali: Musik? . . . draussen, gell?


Mike: There's a little party goin' on out here!
Ali: Ja, gell a party, da is irgendwo a Party!
Mike: A party in the piano . . .
Ali: Naa, ned im Piano
Mike: . . . yeah, P.P.
Ali: . . . Nah, ned im P.P.
Mike: Hey, P.P.
Ali: Naa, ned im Piano, im Piano is keine Party
Mike: Hey, listen . . . listen . . . listen, shhh!

[Kaigal-ool Khovalyg throat-singing]

Spider: We can get our strength up by making some music
John: That's right
Monica: Yeah . . . yeah
John: But the thing is, you know what?
Spider: What?
John: We don't even understand our own music
Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength


John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
Spider: We'd get more strength from it if we understood it?
John: Yeah
Spider: No, I don't think so, because - see I think, I think our strength comes from our uncertainty. If we understood it we'd be bored with it and then we couldn't gather any strength from it
John: Like if we knew about our music one of us might talk and then that would be the end of that

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Left me here to cry alone
With a bottle of juice & a pork chop bone
No no no no no no no-o-o-oo-oh
Makes me cry to see you go-o-o-oo-oh

Gave my money all to you-oo
Took my watch and pawned it too-oo
Two gold teeth and one glass eye
Didn't have the nerve to say goodbye

Boppa dooayyydoo
Boppa dooayyydoo

You treat me funky baby
And some day you'll have to pay
I ain't such a fool that I would let you go
And treat me this way
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-o-o-oo-oh
No no no no no no no-o-o-oh
I ain't going to let you go-oh-o-oo-oh

[No lyrics]

[No lyrics]