Evil Cowards Album

There gonna be a big big fuss
and a whole lot of pork
when the love pigs get here

They're going to be poking at us
with a bloody pitchfork
when the love pigs get here

There gonna be a big disaster
on the network news
when my animal sits here

And they're gonna crucify ya
when you finally chose
who the loser is here

[I'll tell you something good]
But all this talkin' don't add up to much
[We'll move in to your neighborhood]
You shouldn't be walkin'
ride your bike like the Dutch

Gonna be a one-eyed Jack
and a two-headed dog
at the radio station

There gonna be three amigos
and a four alarm fire
at the radio station

There gonna be a whole lotta shakin'
on the floor tonight
at the United Nations

Oh and I'll piss on your grave
and see you in hell
if you get the invitation

[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause I can't think straight when I step in the light
[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause my head can't wait for your love tonight

[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause I can't think straight when I step in the light
[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause my head can't wait for your love tonight

Gonna be a repetition
of the same old thing
when the white kids get here

There gonna be a swift beheading
of the king and queen
when the white kids get here

They're gonna bottle me up
and hose me down
when I lose my wits here

and they're gonna disinfect-ah
the entire town
when the love pigs shit here

[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause I can't think straight when I step in the light
[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause my head can't wait for your love tonight

[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause I can't think straight when I step in the light
[Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights, Dim the lights]
Cause my head can't wait for your love tonight

We were soldiers in a bloody sex war
without a clue about what we'd signed on for
But we fought the good fight
and we fucked each other down
I sucked the venom out of your bite
went back for another round
Of your sloppy sloppy buffet
watching the chips falling where they may
and we tried it my way
and then we tried it yours
Stopping traffic on the highway
with our public intercourse

Of course we did, now didn't we?
And there was no remorse
no regrets of any kind
We were so unsightly but we paid no mind
It was a sex war
and we were watching it unwind
from our front-row seats
on the front lines
And we were wild-eyed
shell-shocked
messed-up
cracked actors ready for our close up

We were fighting for a perverse future
for every man, woman, child, and computer
And we had our instructions
so we marched into the fray
where I sampled your love suction
and you showered in my spray
And you didn't know who you were shooting at
I didn't care that your boobies were booby trapped
We were all in this together
it was just like Vietnam
Except with a whole lot more leather
and a whole lot less napalm
Less napalm

We watched in wonder as the enemy gets
on the receiving ends of our bayonets
It was a sex war
No truce in sight
Sending home body bags
on every cargo flight
And we were killing machines
letting out our gun slides
Sex marines, semper fi!

Our hearts racing every night as we hunker
in the dirty confines of our love bunker
This is a sex war
and we ain't going AWOL
Letting God sort 'em out
after we kill 'em all
And we were overstimulated American heroes
Fighting to prevent the next sex ground zero
Notified by unwanted knocks upon your front doors
Fresh kills, casualties of sex wars

I've got emotions man
And I cried when Rudy Giuliani died
I love New York, man
Cause I got some people working for me on the inside
I see the police man
and I know he's just a hologram
and I see the lights, man
and I seen the belly of this beast eat all types, man

Manhattan Mister
I couldn't tell your sister from you
Oh no
Chelsea fister
They really just don't make 'em like you
Oh no
And there's a vampire up in the cloisters
and he's looking for something to do

I've been to Pentagon
And I know all your sequences and codes
I don't know what you're on
the way you're watching all your monuments implode
And I love Washington
I see a Ryder truck with a mysterious load
Our time is almost gone
And we're just shifting into another mode
Alexandria, I'd cross a thousand rivers for you
Oh no
Rockville Rita
we're living all your dreams anew
Whoa oh
And there's a queen down on Dupont Circle
And he's just looking for someone to do

Ronnie Howard goes from neighbor
into a cocoon
Whoa
Evil Cowards sell more copies than "Dark Side of the Moon"
Whoa
And there's a studio down in Tribecca
that's gonna be a national monument too

500 ways to taste your glaze
and I just might
500 days trapped in your maze
without a light
Monday you don't know what to do
Tuesday you sure don't have a clue
Thursday's not been so good to you
Friday you really got to go
What more is there to know?
All your silly yes men are now saying no
So move on down the road
Before this love implodes
Before this love gets uglier
than a wart on a toad

500 lies live in your eyes and make you blind
500 guys live in your thighs and bleed you dry

Yesterday I would die for you
But today it's not something I could do
Right now you just can't buy a clue
and tomorrow you really got to go
What more is there to know?
All your soaring highs have now turned in to lows
so move on down the road
before this love implodes
before this love gets uglier
than a wart on a toad

Now you claim that you can't count that high
and you're running out of time to buy
but if I had a dime for every dime
I'd have five hundred dollars worth of time

All your soaring highs have now turned in to lows
so move on down the road
before this love implodes
before this love gets uglier
than a wart on a toad

Oh!
Say hello to the invisible men
Coming to town to be my friend
They're gonna be here at a half-past ten
Uh oh!
Really then
Maybe you see or maybe you don't
Maybe you'll see what the others won't
Maybe they'll make you row their boat
Uh oh!
You silly goat

But I'm not ever gonna be one of those
Happy, happy people in ridiculous clothes
wondering where all the groovy poppy grows

Looking out for the nightmare bird
Custard creaming every curd
and polishing her every turd
uh oh!
My word
Can't we just enjoy the show?
Bathing in our mirth and woe
You know I like the status quo
Uh oh!

They will steal the song that you're humming
and you'll never see it coming
They have drum machines at the ready to do all of your drumming
Oh yeah!

And if you're waiting for an answer then prepare to keep waiting
Some people clearly should be stopped from ever mating
Living all their lives just hating and a-hating
Marching through the city with the soldiers of Satan
Ah haaaaaaa

Where it stops nobody knows
so put your money up your nose
Dress her up in flammable clothes
Uh oh!
There she goes
Some will say we've gone too far
Others will say we're shooting par
What's that sound inside my car?
Uh oh!
My door's ajar

We are frozen here in the blue light
Sitting ducks in a toxic pond tonight
Watching the fun boys and the good time girls unite
And for every little dick that we are graduating
There's another temple that we are desecrating
Announcing your arrival as the moon is abating
Pledging your allegiance to the soldiers of Satan

Ah haaaaaaa
It's a really good time
Ah haaaaaaa
and it will blow your mind
Ah haaaaaaa
It's a really good time
Ah haaaaaaa
Let's go!

And we are flaking out and fading fast
Stupidity first and safety last
Have a drink and watch the die get cast
As we abandon ship and torch the mast

This is the only way to live
Black rainbows without Roy G Biv
Come drain your soul through my evil sieve
This is the only way to live
This is the only way to live

My mind is rotting
the day is done
my soul's gone yachting
around the sun
There's a madness to my method
and a machine in my gun
My mind is rotting
and it's only just begun

My love is useless
my purpose isn't clear
My bite is toothless
like a pint of NA beer
When you finally come to see me
I surely won't appear
My love is useless
it's no good here

My heart is fading
the time is nigh
I'm roller blading
into the Jesus sky
There's a symphony of silence
when I lay me down to die
My heart is fading
and so am I

Now I know I've got somewhere to be
but the problem is she won't let me be
all I can be

And I know I got somewhere to go
but she won't let me go to the go-go
every time I gotta go
Oh no

OH shit
OH shit
OH shit
OH shit

She's an expensive whore
and she will cost you more
Fraulein, why you stickin' your head in to the oven?
Why you pickin' all the dread out of our lovin'?

When the baby cries
you spread the lies
to minimize the damages
I said
When the hunger dies
the heat will rise
to vulcanize my sandwiches
And I shall have my comeuppance

OH shit
OH shit
OH shit
OH

She's an expensive whore
yeah she will cost you more
she's my main creditor
down at the liquor store

She said
"Everybody's moving to Ridgewood, but I'm not
Everybody's taking the sure out of the sure shot"
When a product sells
she rings her bells
and everyone comes running
Nobody here's got as many curses as I've got

Oh wow
Oh wow

OH shit
OH shit
OH shit
OH shit

I keep running
Into your wall
I keep staring at your eyes
Cause I know you've got the answer to it all
I feel them coming
I feel my skin scrawl
And I can see the sky lights turning into a firey ball

And now its time to confess
And its really not easy to do

I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
But I'm scared, terrified of losing you

oh!
I'm still human
Yeah I'm just guy
I'd still crawl a million miles just to see your lovey-dovey eyes
Oh, now I can't move
But I can feel them touching me
And I can see them getting ready to show me
something I don't want to see

And now your brown eyes are turning red
And there's a new head growing out of my head

I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
But I'm scared, terrified of losing you

And there's a billion stars in the galaxy
But there should only be one for you and me
And if that's not how its meant to be
May we meet again someday
on Vega System 3
System 3
System 3!

I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
I'm not scared of flying saucers
But I'm scared, terrified of losing you

Here come the people
Look in their eye
They're here today
but tomorrow they die
Ancient Egyptians mummify
and nobody can say exactly why

It's nothing new
I always look through
all the horrible people I see
So easy to do
including you
with the horrible people like me

Listen to the people
makin' their noise
spending all their money
on their noisy noisy toys
California girls, New Jersey boys
and nobody cares
about the love they destroy

Well I'm just like you
I tie both my shoes
like all the horrible people I see
and this world is through
and it's just a zoo
filled with horrible people like me

Once we start to multiply
we set the horror in motion
then we live until we die
throw us back in the horrible ocean

Once they cut us down to size
because they had such a horrible notion
Then they stuck forks in our eyes
such a horrible commotion

Once they cut us down to size
because they had such a horrible notion
Then they stuck forks in our eyes
such a horrible commotion

Once they cut us down to size
because they had such a horrible notion
Next they stuck forks in our eyes
such a horrible commotion

Killing yourself slowly from swallowing my love
because you like me
you really like me

Turning off your evil light
and calling off your dogs
because they bite me
yeah they bite me

You can wrap me up in newspaper
then cover me in gas
and then ignite me
yeah ignite me

Killing yourself slowly from swallowing my love
because you like me
you really like me

One of these days
I'm gonna get this thing to work
And I'll be boxing up and down
like some electronic jerk

Give me the night
give me money
give me more more more
Let me set the world on fire
Like there was no Al Gore
I'll be trashing regulations everywhere that I go
and I'm mashing my potatos like I'm from Idaho
I'm making it look easy
while it's anything but
I'll make you open up your wallet
while your piehole is shut

Hey baby!
I used to have a TV show
I used to be somebody
that you'd really like to get to know
When you need a home run hitter
I'd always get the call
I'd get you back up off the shitter
Get your back up off the wall

But now
That was then
this is now
that was then
and now I'm a rail-roaded man
living in a ghost town
Everyday's another crisis
and I'm bleeding out my eyes
But here you come a-walkin'
and the night's about to
metabolize
hey!

Killing yourself slowly from swallowing my love
because you like me
you really like me

Turning off your evil light
and calling off your dogs
because they bite me
yeah they bite me

You can wrap me up in newspaper
then cover me in gas
and then ignite me
yeah ignite me

Killing yourself slowly from swallowing my love
because you like me
you really like me

My body sways to the rhythm
of your schizoid beat
And you keep breaking me down
while I'm moving my feet
hit me hard
hit me baby
hit me right in the face
and let your dirty bloody bloody
bleed all over the place

Hey baby!
I just can't let you let me go
I just can't eat your cookies
when there ain't no butter in your dough
Now you're talkin' your religion
and you know I don't believe
I'm gonna intercept your pigeon
and rip the tapestry of lies you weave

Gonna take these hands on over
Put these filthy lies to bed
Wrap you up in dirty blankets
rub my lotion on your head
I ate your stale manna
long before it was cornbread
and I knew a demon lady
I can't remember what she said
and she was a good friend
But please don't make me feel you again
Please
Please don't make me feel you again

I sailed my ship into ya
Turned your sky from gray to red
Watch your adulation
as your precious stones were bled
and if you need an answer
I'll be just around the bend
peering through my looking glass
and verifying you attend

The courtesies you extend...
but please don't make me feel you again
Please
Please don't make me feel you again

I can't explain it but I know that it's not right
Dress yourself in evil gravy
hoping I would take a bite tonight
you've stated your mind
but I've never stated mine
and when I do
You're gonna drown
in all the meanings that you find
between the lines

You try to devastate me
with those letters that you send
rewriting revelations
so my faith will not suspend
As I proceed to the end
But please don't make me feel you again
Please
Please don't make me feel you again

Zora and Nora are friends
Skipping through life in the Holocaust's eye
While the nation shits in its depends
Forgetting to live while they're too scared to die
And it hides what it truly intends
Will punish the ones that dare to ask why
Now they've been asked to make their amends
Ever since Nora taught Zora to fly but
They won't stand for it
they can't have too many objects in the sky
They've not planned for it
they're just left asking why, why why?
Look! What's in the sky above?
Hot flying teenage girls
in love

Zora and Nora see things
From a perspective not like yours and mine
And they've heard the way the television sings
and they know about the silence when they dare to opine
Now they circle to avoid all the stings
Of the dull, dull arrows that come down the line
But their lies are no match for their wings
Nor the path Zora and Nora define

They won't stand for it
they can't have too many objects in the sky
They've not planned for it
they're just left screaming why, why why?
Look! What's in the sky above?
Hot flying teenage girls
in love

And this boy will bear witness
he was watching them ascend
he was being convinced it was the beginning of the end

Come back, come back, you bitches just can't see
What your brazen independence is doing to me
Do you know who my dad is, do you know what I can do?
I've been told my whole life I can buy and sell you
alas, a lack
You've stabbed me in the back
Your new world order ran me off my tracks
I've long since believed girls should stay on the ground
Boy have I been deceived by this site that I've found
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes

There are some things
That I have done in life
That made me ashamed
and I keep from the wife
Like the stains of butter crumpets
That spilt on the page
Where they will remain
Someday I'll confess
To all those crimes

But right now I'd like to say that I am guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
Choppin' up the teacher
It was I
Yes I am guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
It was I

It was those cricket scores
that made my claws sink in
Oh that bloody gin
He told us to go fetch her
Though a pterodactyl hatched her
So I chopped off his head
And went to bed
Like I said

It's me who's guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
Choppin' up the teacher
It was I
Yes I am guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
It was I

He said trouble it will come
From the headmaster
And he'll make a right disaster of your bum
And my parents they were called
And my dad he was appalled
When police reported
I'd not done the lot
Younger parents do distrust
Our puplic schools
Well they're fucking fools
Cause would the world be better
Without paranoid cross dressers
I don't think so
I'd miss 'em
And so would I

He is guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
Choppin up the teacher
It was him
Yes he is guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
It was him

Everybody

Yes he is guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
Choppin up the teacher
It was him
Yes he is guilty of the crime
Of choppin' up the teacher
It was him