Eminem Album

Burp....Cough....Hey, How you guys doing? You want more?

Oh Right(Crowd Cheers)

THEN SHUT UP!

Shoobie Doo, Shoobie Doo, Shoobie Doo, Shoobie Doo, Shoobie Doo,

Skibidy BeeBop

Girl, Girl Girl Girl

Your My world... World, world, world.

Your My Girl

Your My World

Ayo Here's a Song for the ladies...

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Whatever..
Dre, just let it run
Aiyyo turn the beat up a little bit
Aiyyo.. this song is for anyone.. fuck it
Just shut up and listen, aiyyo..

I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
the most meanest MC on this -- on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
all this tension dispensin these sentences
Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest
and I rest again peacefully (peacefully)..
but at least have the decency in you
to leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
in the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
to not come and speak to me (speak to me)..
I don't know you and no,
I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
if you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty)..
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air
I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you (of all you)..
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me

[Chorus: Eminem]

And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

[Eminem]
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense it's constant
And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content -
- the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy circles me
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me (finger at me)..
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
when you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up
with the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
and they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn).. and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty
havin this happenin (this happenin)..
then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way)..
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire
to burn and it's burnin and I have returned

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm so sick and tired of bein admired
that I wish that I would just die or get fired
and dropped from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name is.."
And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensation
to cop me rotation at rock'n'roll stations
And I just do not got the patience (got the patience)..
to deal with these cocky caucasians who think
I'm some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talk
with an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin
the same fuckin questions (fuckin questions)..
What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in
The why, the who what when, the where, and the how
'til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out
cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy).. I can't take it
I'm racin, I'm pacin, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for ev-ery fan that I get
But I can't take a SHIT, in the bathroom
without someone standin by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

[Chorus (except change first word "And" to "Cause")]

[Intro]
Ow Ow Ow
Im Gonna Fucking Cum

[Chorus]
Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
I'm gonna fuckin' come! (oh shit!)
Fuuck fuck fuyyuccck (fuck I am!)
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

[Verse 1]
(Ohh yeahh god) I never seen no chick like this,
this bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
condom on my dick of course it is,
this bitch don't know what abortion is
so I cant cum in her,
fucks like a porn star, looks like Jenna,
fuck I'm gonna,
come I think my rubbers comin' off,
but oh its so fuckin wet and soft,
fuck, i'm gonna start lettin' off
im squirtin and shes not gettin' off,
and shes on top
im gonna fackin' ohh god,
oh don't do that dont, stop,
stop don't, I don't mean don't stop,
oww wait a minute
ow ow fuck I...I'm gonna fuckin comeee! *squirt squirt squirt*

[Chorus]
Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
Fack fack fayyuccck (fuck I am!)
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

[Verse 2]
Oooh wow, boo that pow, ooh ow I need a cigarette now!
Ow im so fuckin' hot,
and you're soo fuckin' hot,
oh my god,
I wanna fackin' fack
no not fuck, I said fack ,
f-a-c-k, f-a-c-k, fack, fack fack fackin' freak mee!
Ohh yeah girl see baby they call me Mr Freaky,
lets call your sister, 3-way have some 3-some me so horny!
And you're such a fuckin' babe I wanna go down on you, fuck you shave!
Ohh god damn here I go again, I'm gonna cum I am

[Chorus]
Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

*Eminem mumbling*

[Verse 3]
Ok I'm done,
I already came twice,
you aint gonna make me cum,
I'm all outta gas,
Not so fast! Uh your finger just went in my ass!
Ow that hurts! Take it out now
Ohh wait a minute oww put it back in, in in in
this don't mean I'm gay I dont like men
I like boobs, boobs, boobs
Now see that gerbil, grab that tube,
shove it up my butt,
let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh, yeah, right there, right
there,
Ahhh I'm coming ahhh yeaaah,
fack, I just came again, okay pull it out now,
ohh fuck yeah, wait he's not out hes still crawling around up there,
ow fuck I think it's stuck
oww but it feels so fackin' good!

[Chorus]
Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)
Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

[Outro]
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!
Ew ew ew ew

[Chorus: Dido]

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background]
[2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; [*screaming*] Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
[*car tires squeal*] [*CRASH*]
.. [*brief silence*] .. [*LOUD splash*]

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Is he? No
He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortar
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old potna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
See dishonor caught up bein a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another jam or not
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

(fet. Nate Dog)

[Eminem]
Whoooo
Shady, Aftermath
Look at that bitch, god damn!

[Eminem & Nate Dogg]
There she goes shakin' that ass on the floor
Bumpin' and grindin' that pole
The way she's grindin' that pole I think I'm losin' control

[Eminem]
Get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fuuucked up
Hit the strip club, don't forget ones, get your dick rubbed
Get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceded, pasted
Plastered, puke drink up get a new drink
Leave the bathroom sink [puke], wipe your shoe clean got a routine goin'
Still got a few chunks on them shoe strings shoin'
I was dehydrated till the beat vibrated
I was revived as soon as this bitch giyrated
Them hips and lickin' lips and that was it
I had to get Nate Dogg hear to sing some shit

[Nate Dogg]
2 to the 1 from the 1 to the 3
I like good pussy and I like good trees
Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
And I get more ass than a toilet seat
3 to the 1 form the 1 to the 3
I met a bad bitch last night at the D
Let me tell you how I made her leave with me
Conversation and hennessy
I've been to the motherfuckin moutain top
Heard motherfuckers talk seen em' drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust your ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Get your ass off the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie

Were gonna have a party, turn the music up
Let's get it started, go ahead shake ya butt
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin' baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded, some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin' it up

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Awww girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

[Eminem]
I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this flouride rininse
Swish but don't spit it, swallow and now finish, Yeahhh!
Me and Nate D-O-Double G lookin for a couple Biatches
With some Double D's pop a little chapagne and a couple E's
Slip it in her bubbly, wheee fittin ta have a party

[Nate Dogg]
Were gonna have a party, turn the music up
Let's get it started, go ahead shake ya butt
I'm lookin for a girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck
Apple bottom jeans and a big ol slut
Some girls they act retarded, some girls are bout it bout it
I want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a SLUT, would you be mine?
Heard you was freaky from a friend of mine

[Eminem & Nate Dogg]
Now I hope you don't get mad at me
But I told Nate you was a freak
He said he wants a slut, hope you don't mind
I told him how you like it from behind

[Nate Dogg]
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Awww girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

Were bout have a party, turn the music up
Let's get it started, go ahead shake ya butt
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin' baby step right up
Some girls act retarded, some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she'll be givin' it up

[Eminem]
There she goes shakin' that ass on the floor
Bumpin' and grindin' that pole
The way she's grindin' that pole I think I'm losin' control

God!
I ain't leavin without you bitch
Your coming home with me, and my boy
And his boy, and his boy and his girl haha
Nate Dogg!

[Verse 1]
These ideas are nightmares to white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows
no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care
He's a problem child
And what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about
His fuckin' dad walkin' out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back
Talkin' black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap
His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose
His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just let's his emotions
go...

[Chorus]
{C'mon}, sing with me, {sing}, sing for the years
{Sing it}, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away...

[Verse 2]
Entertainment is changin', intertwinin' with gangsta's
In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum
Holy or unholy, only have one homie
Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me
Yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess words are a
mothafucka they can be great
Or they can degrate, or even worse they can teach hate
It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make
Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum
Now how the fuck did this metamorphosis happen
From standin' on corners and porches just rappin'
To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ass
But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you
Fans turn on you, attorneys all want a turn at you
To get they hands on every dime you have, they want you to lose your mind
every time you mad
So they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon
Any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns
That's why these prosecutors wanna convict me, strictly just to get me off
of these streets quickly
But all they kids be listenin' to me religiously, so i'm signin' cd's while
police fingerprint me
They're for the judge's daughter but his grudge is against me
If i'm such a fuckin' menace, this shit doesn't make sense B
It's all political, if my music is literal, and i'm a criminal how the fuck
can I raise a little girl
I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to, you're full of shit too, Guerrera, that
was a fist that hit you...

[CHORUS]

[Verse 3]
They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the shit's cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the shit's affectin' our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail
It's fucked up ain't it
How we can come from practically nothing to being able to have any fuckin'
thing that we wanted
That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing
Except for a dream, and a fuckin' rap magazine
Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long
Idolize they favorite rappers and know all their songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives
Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die
Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe
We're nothin' to you but we're the fuckin' shit in they eyes
That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and
hold it
Cause we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our
songs and we can...

[CHORUS X2]


[Thanks to blueprint_n9ne@hotmail.com for these lyrics]

[Intro (Obie Trice)]
"Obie Trice/Real Name No Gimmicks"

[Refrain 1]
2 trailer park girls go round the outside
round the outside, round the outside
[Repeat Refrain 1]

[Refrain 2]
Guess whos back, back again
Shadys back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
gruess who's back
Guess who's back...

[Verse 1]
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
see Marshall no more they want Shady I'm chopped liver
well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a
shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
when I'm rocking the table while he's operating
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back,
I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husbands heart problem's complicating
So the FCC wont let me be or let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips fuck that,
cum on your lips and some on your tits and get ready cuz this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits Fuck
YOU DEBBIE_!

[Chorus X2]
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me

[Verse 2]
Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
they start feeling the prisoners helpless,
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution, pollutin the air waves a rebel
so let me just revel an bask, in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back [batman sound]
fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

[Chorus X2]

[Verse 3]
A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit.
Chris Kirkpatrick you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards, and Moby
you can get stomped by Obie, you 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since
Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley, to do Black Music so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
there's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me

[Chorus X2]

(Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la) [X2] "Kids"


[Thanks to HurleyGurl057@aol.com for these lyrics]
[Thanks to b_ball15@msn.com for correcting these lyrics]

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' (?)
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have run ya nav and who sulked us up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [*SLURP*]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [*AHHH!*]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [*bzzzt*]
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 2X]

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me

Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
Well I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laney uncles crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upperlip up little lady, i told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma's gon' be alright

It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

[Chorus]

And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)

[sound of static]

[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]
That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade

[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)

[sound of static]

("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")

[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]

[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man.
("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Grady!!")

[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you motherfucker!

[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]

Where's my snare, I have no snare in my headphones, there ya' go, yeah, yo', yo'...

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, i've been protested and demonstrated
against, picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times, sick is the mind of the
motherfuckin' kid that's behind, all this commotion, emotions run deep as ocean's explodin',
tempers flaring from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin', not takin' nothin' from no one,
give 'em hell long as i'm breathin', keep kickin' ass in the mornin', an' takin' names in the
evening, leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth, see they can trigger me but
they'll never figure me out, look at me now, I bet ya' probably sick of me now, ain't you mama,
i'ma make you look so ridiculous now...

[CHORUS]

I'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i'm
cleanin' out my closet, {one more time}, I said i'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I
never meant to make you cry, but tonight i'm cleanin' out my closet...

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it, so before they thrown me
inside my coffin and close it, i'ma expose it, i'll take you back to '73, before I ever had a
multi-platinum sellin' Cd, I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months, my faggot father
must have had his pantie's up in a bunch, cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye,
no I don't on second thought, I just fuckin' wished he would die, I look at Hailie and I
couldn't picture leavin' her side, even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try, to make it
work with her at least for Hailie's sake, I maybe made some mistakes but i'm only human, but i'm
man enough to face them today, what I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest
shit I did was take them bullets out of that gun, cause id'a killed 'em, shit I would have shot
Kim and him both, it's my life, i'd like to welcome y'all to the Eminem show...

[CHORUS]

Now I would never diss my own mama just to get recognition, take a second to listen for you
think this record is dissin', but put yourself in my position, just try to envision witnessin'
your Mama poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen, bitchin' that someone's always goin'
through her purse and shits missin', going through public housing systems, victim of
Munchausen's syndrome, my whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't 'til I grew
up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya' stomach, doesn't it, wasn't it the reason you made
that Cd for me, ma, so you could try to justify the way you treated me, ma, but guess what, your
gettin' older now and it's cold when your lonely, and Nathan's growing up so quick, he's gonna
know that your phoney, and Hailie's getting so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful, but
you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral, see what hurts me the most is you won't
admit you was wrong, bitch, do your song, keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom, but how dare
you try to take what you didn't help me to get, you selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in
hell for this shit, remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me, well guess
what, I am dead, dead to you as can be...

[CHORUS]


[Thanks to blueprint_n9ne@hotmail.com for these lyrics]

[Intro]
[Eminem making sounds]
Ok..
Guess who's back?
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Whaaaaaaaa

Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright Stop!.....Pajama time

[Verse 1]
Come here little kiddies, On my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap?
And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child investigation accusation
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
No worries, papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I done touched on everything, but little boys
That's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good God, dip, do a little slide
Bend down, touch your toes and just glide
Up the center of the dance floor
Like TP for my bunghole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! [Fart Sound]
Oops my cd just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass
Oops I mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)

[Verse 2]
It's Friday and it's my day
Just to party all the way to sunday
Maybe til monday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just a holiday
Crusin' on the freeway
Feelin' kinda breezy
Got the top down, lettin' my hair blow
I dunno where I'm goin'
All I know is when I get there
Someone's gonna "touch my body"

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair?
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out? (Yeah)
Now, what's your name girl?
What's your sign?
[Dr Dre] "Man, you must be up out your mind"
DRE! (HA-HA)
Beer goggles blind!
I'm just tryna unwind now I'm

[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass
Oops I mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)

[Verse 3]
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and I don't know what happend
They say I was running butt naked
Down the street screaming
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much
I'm not guilty
They said, "Save it, boy we gotcha you on tape
yellin' at an old lady 'touch my body!'"

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It gets real intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
Snap back to reality
Look it's B.Rabbit!
Yo you signed me up to battle!?
I'm a grown man!
Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubbie
I don't have any lines to go right here so, chubba teletubbie!
Fella's (WHAT?!) Fella's (WHAT?!)
Grab you left nut, make right one jealous (what?)
Black girls
White girls
Skinny girls
Fat girls
Tall girls
Small girls
I'm callin' all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for a little romance whore
Butt squeezin' it's the season
Just go (HA-HA-HA-HA)
It's so appeasin'

[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass
Oops I mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)

[Outro]
UmMmMmm touch my body
UmMmMmm touch my body
Ooh boy just touch my body

[Introduction]
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of a pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing this song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around on that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are gone"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go up there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes
and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

[Chorus / Outro]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Chorus: Dido]

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background]
[2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; [*screaming*] Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
[*car tires squeal*] [*CRASH*]
.. [*brief silence*] .. [*LOUD splash*]

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

[Puff] Bad Boy baby
[Big] Yeah.. yeah..
Junior M.A.F.I.A., yeah..
[Puff] Yeah.. B.I.G. 2000
B.I.G. 2000 Born Again.. c'mon..

[Notorious B.I.G.]
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong

[Notorious B.I.G.]
Relax and take notes, while I take tokes of the marijuana smoke
Throw you in a choke - gun smoke, gun smoke
Biggie Smalls for mayor, the rap slayer
The hooker layer - motherfucker say your prayers
Hail Mary full of grace.. smack the bitch in the face;
Take her Gucci bag and the North Face 
Off her back, jab her if she act
Funny with the money oh you got me mistaken honey
I don't wanna rape ya, I just want the paper
The Visa, kapeesha? I'm out like, "The Vapors"
Who's the one you call Mr. Macho, the head honcho
Swift fist like Camacho, I got so
Much style I should be down wit the Stylistics
Make up to break up {*singing in background*} niggaz need to wake up
Smell the indonesia; beat you to a seizure
Then fuck your moms, hit the skins til amnesia
She don't remember shit! Just the two hits!
Her hittin the floor, and me hittin the clits!
Suckin on the tits! Had the hooker beggin for the dick
And your moms ain't ugly love; my dick got rock quick
I guess I was a combination of House of Pain and Bobby Brown
I was "Humpin Around" and "Jump-in Around"
Jacked her then I asked her who's the man; she said, "B-I-G"
Then I bust in her E-Y-E (Yo Big, you're dead wrong)

[Notorious B.I.G.]
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"

[Notorious B.I.G.]
When I get dusted, I like to spread the blood like mustard
Trust it, my hardcore rain leaves you rusted
Move over Lucifer, I'm more ruthless, huh
Leave your toothless, you'll kibbitz, I'll flip it
Tears don't affect me, I hit 'em with the tech G
Disrespect me - my potency is deadly
I'm shootin babies, no ifs ands or maybes
Hit mummy in the tummy if the hooker plays a dummy
Slit the wrist of little sis
After she sucked the dick, I stabbed her brother with the icepick
Because he wanted me to fuck him from the back
But Smalls don't get down like that
Got your father hidin in a room; fucked him with the broom
Slit him down the back and threw salt in the wound
Who you think you're dealin with?
Anybody step into my path is fuckin feelin it!
Hardcore, I got it sucked like a pussy
Stab ya til you're gushy, so please don't push.. me
I'm using rubbers so they won't trace the semen
The black demon, got the little hookers screamin
Because you know I love it young, fresh and green
With no hair in between, know what I mean?

[Notorious B.I.G.]
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"

[Puff] Ladies and gentlemen..

[Eminem]
There's several different levels to Devil worshippin: horse's heads,
Human sacrifices, canibalism; candles and exorcism
Animals havin sex with 'em; camels mammals and rabbits
But I don't get into that, I kick the habit - I just,
Beat you to death with weapons that eat through the flesh
And I never eat you unless the fuckin, meat looks fresh
I got a lion in my pocket, I'm lyin, I got a nine in my pocket
And baby I'm just, dyin to cock him
He's ready for war, I'm ready for war
I got machetes and swords for any faggot that said he was raw
My uz' as, heavy as yours, yeah you met me before
I just didn't have as large an arsenal of weapons before
Marshall will step in the door, I lay your head on the floor
With your body spread on the bedspread, red on the wall
Red on the ceilin, red on the floor, get a new whore
Met on the second, wet on the third;
Then she's dead on the fourth - I'm dead wrong

[Notorious B.I.G.]
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"
"I don't care what nobody say"

[Notorious B.I.G.]
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong
The weak or the strong, who got it goin on
You're dead wrong

[Puff Daddy]
Uh-huh, and we won't stop, because we can't stop

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me!

Mic check one two.. we recordin?
I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangled you to death then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally
I get you blunted off of funny home grown
Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
(Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)
Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez
Follow me and do exactly what the song says:
smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink
And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill
Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold'
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!)
My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh)
My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue
witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother.. are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed
a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts
Cause if you ain't tiltin this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I've been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!

[Eminem]
When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! [*chainsaw revs up*]
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

[Chorus: Eminem]

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you..

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

[Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")]

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the student body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

[Chorus]
[first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!", ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!"]

[Eminem]
Hahaha, I'm just playin ladies
You know I love you

(Eminem - 4X)
I'll shit on you
Da da da da

I'll shit on you
I will shit
I'll shit on you
Girl you know
I'll shit on you
Bitch or man
I'll shit on you
I will shit

(Swift aka Swifty McVeigh)
I remain fatter than gluttony
Tapin bombs to the back of record companies
Blow em up if they ain't want me
The national guard
They scared to hunt me
I love beef
I got you hoes duckin me
A drug thief
Bitch I'll take your marijuana
These slugs with keep yo ass away from my corner
I drown niggas in hundred-degree saunas
You can act a fool if you wanna (bitch)
It's this lyrical piranha 
Strapped with a grenade
In the pool with your mama
Attack her by the legs then I pull her to the bottom
Twist nothin up like a condom
Slap it if u muthafuckas got a problem
When I see em
You hoes endin up in a fuckin mausoleum
Or hiden in the trunk of a black & gold bm
Pull in the garage while u screamin
Keep the motor on then I'm leavin
I'll shit on you

(Chorus)
I will shit on you I don't care who you are
I'll shit on you
I don't give a fuck about you or your car
Fuck your house 
Fuck your jewelry
And Fuck your watch
Fuck your wife 
Fuck your kids 
Fuck your family
I'll shit on you

(Bizarre aka Peter S. Bizarre)
I'm a alcoholic with the fuckin toilet
Pass the hot dogs
(bizarre aren't you Islamic)
Bitch shut your fuckin mouth
I'ma keep eatin till 
Richard Simmons comes to my house with a chain saw to cut me out
I'll fuck your wife
I had sex since I met her
I'm to busy fuckin 
Your 12 year old baby-sitter
And all women ain't shit
Only good for cookin,cleanin,and suckin dick and thats it
I was responsible for killin John Candy
I got Jonbenet Ramsey in my 98 camry
I don't give a fuck who you are
I'll shit on anybody 
Truly yours the idiotic Bizarre

(Eminem aka Slim Shady)
My adolescent years weren't shit till what I do now
I never grew up I was born grown and grew down
The older I get the dumber the shit I get in
The more ignorant the incident is I fit in
Ignorin the shit how boring it gets
When there's no one to hit
I don't know when to quit throwin a fit
I know I'm a bit flaky but they make me
Its they who raised me and say the can take me
Its they who legs I brake and make achy
Its they who mistake me and make me so angry
"I'll shit on you"
I'll spit on you 
Start pissin then do the opposite on you
You weren't listenin I said I'll cop a squat on you and
Start spillin my guts like chicken cordon bleu
And straight shit 
Like notorious big did to that bitch 
On his skit on his last album
Pull my pants down

(Chorus)

(Kon Artis aka Denine Porter)
Is Richard Pryor still alive
If not I'm sicker than he was prior to him dyin
Born brainless
This steel ain't stainless
Your bloodstains are all over this steel god dang it
Bitch brang it
These niggas that i hang wit 
Will hang u up naked by your ankles danglin
My needa stays stranglin 
I don't need your help
If u gon give me the pussy
I'll unloosen my belt
I'll punch your daddy not
Your moms kinda cock
Your sister tends court
Your aunt supply her rocks
Buck 50 cross yo neck
Floss yo tek
I'll beat you wit it across yo chest

(Kuniva aka Von)
It's only right I jack your car keys and run
Spent all of my advancements on weed and guns
For fun, when I'm drunk 
I'll run a truck through the weed house
Jump out and beat your peeps down worst than Steve Stout
Put you in chokeholds I learned last week
From the police man 
Who caught me stealing weed from his jeep
I see hoes bitin 
Y'all don't wanna brawl
Thats like D-bo fightin Peablo Bryson
So what you hollering and yelling about
I'll reach in your mouth 
And pull your fuckin skeleton out
Niggas get hit wit a two piece 
"Bling Bling"
With a poisonous sting
I'm such a violent thing

(Chorus)

(Eminem aka Slim Shady)
Once I get on 2 hits of x
My disk slips and disconnects
Till I walk around this bitch with a twisted neck
But still shit on the first bitch who disrespects
Over reaction is my only reaction
Which only sets off a chain reaction
And puts 5 more zainiac than maniacs in action
A rat pack
In black jackets who pack 10
9 millimeters
5 criminals pullin heaters 
And spillin liters of blood like swimmin pools
Shiesty individuals shoot at bitches too
A lotta people say misoginistic which is true
I can't deny it matter of fact I stand by it
So please stand by it before we start up a damn riot
If u don't wanna get stampeded then stand quiet
Boy girl dog woman man child
I'll Shit on you

I will shit on you i don't care who you are
I'll shit on you
I don't give a fuck about you or your car
I'll shit on you
Fuck your house fuck your jewelry and fuck your watch
I'll shit on you
I will fuck you wife if you fuck with me
I'll shit on you

You heard me
(Eminem laughing)
Bitch
I'll shit on you
D-12 will shit on you
I'll shit on you

Your life 
Your wife 
Your kids 
Your car
I'll shit on you
Your house
Your spouse
Your rings
Your things
I'll shit on you
I'll shit on you
I'll shit on you
I'll shit on you

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word nigga
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [*dog whines*]
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

[Chorus 2X]


[thanks to kevin.toner@blueyonder.co.uk for correcting these lyrics]

(Featuring. Jay-Z)

[Jay-Z]
Motherfuckers -
say that I'm foolish I only talk about jewels (bling bling)
Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?
See I'm influenced by the ghetto you ruined
That same dude you gave nothin, I made somethin doin
what I do through and through and
I give you the news - with a twist it's just his ghetto point-of-view
The renegade; you been afraid
I penetrate pop culture, bring 'em a lot closer to the block where they
pop tosters and they live with thier moms got drop roasters from box robberies
niggas crouched overmommies knocked up cause she wasn't wached over knocked down
by some clown when child support knocked no he's not around tnow how that sound
to ya, jot it down
I bring it through the ghetto without ridin 'round
hidin down duckin strays from frustrated youths stuck in they ways
Just read a magazine that fucked up my day
How you rate music that thugs to nothin relate to it i help them see their
weight through it not you cant step in my pants cant walk in my shoes bet
everything your worth you lose your tie and your shirt

[Eminem]
Since I'm in a position to talk to these kids and they listen
I ain't no politician but I'll kick it with 'em a minute
Cause see they call me a menace; and if the shoe fits I'll wear it
But if it don't, then y'all'll swallow the truth grin and bear it
Now who's these king of these rude ludicrous lucrative lyrics
Who could inherit the title, put the youth in hysterics
Usin his music to steer it, sharin his views and his merits
But there's a huge interference - they're sayin you shouldn't hear it
Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit
Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish
But I'm debated disputed hated and viewed in America
as a motherfuckin drug addict - like you didn't experiment?
Now now, that's when you start to stare at who's in the mirror
and see yourself as a kid again, and you get embarrased
And I got nothin to do but make you look stupid as parents
You fuckin do-gooders - too bad you couldn't do good at marriage!
(Ha ha!) And do you have any clue what I had to do to get here I don't
think you do so stay tuned and keep your ears glued to the stereo
Cause here we go - he's {*Jigga joint Jigga-chk-Jigga*}
And I'm the sinister, Mr. Kiss-My-Ass it's just a
[Chorus: Eminem + Jay-Z]
[Em] RENEGADE! Never been afraid to say
what's on my mind at, any given time of day
Cause I'm a RENEGADE! Never been afraid to talk
about anything (ANYTHING) anything (ANYTHING), RENEGADE!
[Jay] Never been afraid to say
what's on my mind at, any given time of day
Cause I'm a {RENEGADE} Never been afraid to holler
about anything {anything?} Anything {ANYTHING!}

[Jay-Z]
I had to hustle, my back to the wall, ashy knuckles
Pockets filled with a lot of lint, not a cent
Gotta vent, lot of innocent of lives lost on the project bench
Whatchu hollerin? Gotta pay rent, bring dollars in
By the bodega, iron under my coat, feelin braver
Doo-rag wrappin my waves up, pockets full of hope
Do not step to me - I'm awkward, I box leftier often
My pops left me an orphan, my momma wasn't home
Could not stress to me I wasn't grown; 'specially on nights
I brought somethin home to quiet the stomach rumblings
My demeanor - thirty years my senior
My childhood didn't mean much, only raisin green up
Raisin my fingers to critics; raisin my head to the sky
Big I did it - multi before I die (nigga)
No lie, just know I chose my own fate
I drove by the fork in the road and went straight

[Eminem]
See I'm a poet to some, a regular modern day Shakespeare
Jesus Christ the King of these Latter Day Saints here
To shatter the picture in which of that as they paint me
as a monger of hate and Satan a scatter-brained atheist
But that ain't the case, see it's a matter of taste
We as a people decide if Shady's as bad as they say he is
Or is he the latter - a gateway to escape?
Media scapegoat, who they can be mad at today
See it's easy as cake, simple as whistlin Dixie
while I'm wavin the pistol at sixty Christians against me
Go to war with the Mormons, take a bath with the Catholics
in holy water - no wonder they try to hold me under longer
I'm a motherfuckin spiteful, DELIGHTFUL eyeful
The new Ice Cube - motherfuckers HATE to like you
What did I do? (huh?) I'm just a kid from the gutter
makin this butter off these bloodsuckers, cause I'm a muh'fuckin

[Chorus] - repeat 2X

[Intro: Frogg]

Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em
and like, back and forth because ah
this is.. what you thought it wasn't
It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen
I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*
And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

[Verse One: Eminem]

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton
I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

[Chorus:]

So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
tellin your boys that I'm on crack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
So put my tape back on the rack
Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
But see me on the street and duck
Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed
Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

[Verse Two: Eminem]

I'm Nicer than Pete, but I'm on a Serch to crush a Miilkbone
I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone
I'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason
I'm colder than snow season when it's twenty below freezin
Flavor with no seasonin, this is the sneak preview
I'll diss your magazine and still won't get a weak review
I'll make your freak leave you, smell the Folgers crystals
This is a lyrical combat, gentlemen hold your pistols
But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles
Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!)
Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion
Pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion
The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic
Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict
Half animal, half man
Dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can
With more holes than an Afghan

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Eminem]

Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!)
I'm a caged demon, on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine
I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinnin
Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion
Fuck droppin the jewel, I'm flippin the sacred treasure
I'll bite your motherfuckin style, just to make it fresher
I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches
Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washin dishes
In school I never said much, too busy havin a headrush
Doin too much rush had my face flushed like red blush
Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed
Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team
Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian
Too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again
I'm goin up over the curb, drivin on the median
Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in

[Chorus]

[Outro: Eminem]

Hey, fuck that!
Outsidaz..
Pace One..
Young Zee..