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I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home
[1.]
I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
"I will love you always and forever."
[2.]
Well As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I were anywhere with anyone
Making out.
I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.
[1.]
I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and
This bottle of beast is taking me home.
[2.]
Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
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On the way home,
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
This weather.
The wind outside is biting.
It has left me feeling tired & exposed.
You've been asking me to bleed.
It seems these kinds of questions
come too easy to you now.
Your lack of shame comes naturally.
I should not be surprised.
I should have seen it sooner.
You expect me to apologize
for things that you've done wrong.
While you're inciting others.
You're owning up to nothing
and I wish that I was gone,
because you're not going anywhere.
This damp air
is fighting my defroster.
My sighs they ring victorious
& fog this tinted glass.
It's clouded
& so is my head.
The hint of these new tears are sharp.
I try to hold them back.
It's useless.
I am useless against them.
They are beating me with ease.
On the way home
this car hears my confessions.
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I'm always assuming the worst,
but you're going on none the less
& there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall.
Letters from further away
keep pulling me close to home.
And there's something to cushion my callous sighs.
And I know that you hope for
longer good-byes
embracing for forever
and falling in your eyes.
Pouring over photographs.
I'm living in your letters.
Breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you & I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.
Continually failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
& you won't let me sink
though I'm beggin you.
Phone calls from further away
& messages on my machine,
but I don't ever tell you this distance
seems terrible.
There is no need to test my heart,
with useless space.
These roads go on forever
& so do you and I.
So I'll hit the pavement
it's gotta be better than waiting
& pushing you far away
cause I'm scared.
So I'll take my chances
& head on my way up there.
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Sleep with all the lights on.
You're not so happy.
You're not secure.
You're dying to look cute in your blue jeans,
but you're plastic just like everyone.
You're just like everyone.
And that face you paint is pressed
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.
College night will draw the crowds.
Dorms unload & your heading out.
Here is your moment to shine.
Making up a history.
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man, will they buy all your lines.
Sleep with all the sheets off
bearing your mattress
bearing your soul.
And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos
but you're searching just like everyone
could be anyone.
And the friends that you have are the best
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.
Youth's the most unfaithful mistress.
Still we forge ahead to miss her.
Rushing our moment to shine.
Making up a history,
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man will they buy all your lines.
We're not twenty-one,
but the sooner we are,
the sooner the fun will begin,
so get out your fake eyelashes,
and fake i.d's,
& real disasters ensue,
it's cool to take these chances.
It's cool to fake romances
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This paint has been tasting of lead
& their chips will fall as they may,
but it's not just my finish that is peeling,
& it is not alone fleeing these walls.
Well sooner of later this cold
it's gonna break
& our hands will be warm again,
but all I want is not to need you now.
And sooner or later this cold
it's gonna break
& our words will be heard again,
but all I want are vows of silence now.
This turpentine chaser's got kick
& the rag that it's soaked in is rich.
The fumes aide the pace of my cleaning
& as soon as I'm done I am gone.
The frightening facts
we've been facing our backs
for so long now
are begging for eyes
to bear witness to lies
& indifference.
Now we're saying aloud
the things we've declared in our silence.
The new coats of paint will not reaquaint
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It is yet to be determined,
but the air is thick,
& my hope is feeling worn.
I'm missing home,
& I'm glad you're not a part of this,
there are parts of me that will be missed.
And the phone is always dead to me,
so I can't tell you the temperature is dropping
& it feels like
it is colder than it ought to be in March
& I still have a day or two ahead of me
till I'll be heading home,
into your arms again.
And the people here are asking after you.
It doesn't make it easier.
It doesn't make it easier to be away.
I'd like to hire a plane.
I'd see you in the morning,
when the day is fresh.
I'm coming home again.
It's warmer where you're waiting.
It feels more like July.
There's pillows in their cases
& one of those is mine.
And you wrote the words I love you,
& sprayed it with perfume.
It is better than the fire is
to heat this lonely room.
It is warmer where you're waiting
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So long sweet summer,
I stumbled upon you and gracefully basked in your rays.
So long sweet slumber.
I fell into you now you're gracefully falling away.
Hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
It is cold where your going
I hope that your heart is always warm.
I gave you the best that I had.
You passed on my letters
& passed on the best that I had.
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So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?
Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
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It's just like you to contest
you wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
with your charm & in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is is you need?
Is it within me?
It's hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped in you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you.
The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always be wrong
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When I'm back from the road
and you're out on it
& I'm tired of this distance
& I believe it's over-rated.
And this phone tag game is endless
the novelty is wearing
I'm hoping time will pass
without any assistance
or convincing.
Road rules apply
there's so much action,
you're getting busy.
I'll call your cellular phone
to tell you TV night was
lonely without you
& so am I...
so am I.
It seems our day keeps falling on a leap year.
So many high points on this last leg.
I can't wait to recount them
it seems like nothing's happened
until I've shared them with you.
The note that you had called
says you're half a day away
& you are heading home
just in time for me to leave.
Road rules apply
there's so much action
I'm getting busy.
So make sure that I'm up to date
on TV night,
I hate to miss out.
I think I miss you most
on Wednesdays
& Saturdays.
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