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Belle & Sebastian
Belle & Sebastian


Background information
Origin Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
Genre(s) Indie Pop
Twee pop
Baroque Pop
Years active 1996—present
Label(s) Matador Records
Rough Trade Records
Jeepster Records
Associated acts Tired Pony
Snow Patrol
Camera Obscura
God Help The Girl
Looper
The Amphetameanies
The Gentle Waves
The Moondials
The Reindeer Section
The Vaselines
V-Twin
Website Website
Members
Richard Colburn
Stuart Murdoch
Stevie Jackson
Chris Geddes
Sarah Martin
Mick Cooke
Bobby Kildea
Former members
Isobel Campbell
Stuart David



Music World  →  Lyrics  →  B  →  Belle & Sebastian  →  Albums  →  Dear Catastrophe Waitress

Belle & Sebastian Album


Dear Catastrophe Waitress (2003)
2003
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. . .



She called me up today
Meet me down at the old café
I jumped into the shower
I was getting my marching orders

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?

She'd never stand for any lies
She's got an Out Tray full of guys
I could sense a breath, a whole new feeling
Now she says she wants to call a meeting

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?

I'm a slave to work
I'm only living when I walk amongst the office staff
And catch up with the office wag
I'll be in bed by nine
My curtains drawn
My thoughts composed
I get to work on time

She gave me some dictation
But my strength is in administration
I took down all she said
I even took down her little red dress

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
I'm pushing for a raise
I've been pushing now for days

My output is in decline
I was burned out after Thatcher
My banner I laid down with a sigh
Now I doubt if I'll ever catch her

I've got to change my ways
Dress for business every day
A sharp suit and a kipper tie
A big arrow pointing to my fly

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime

. . .



Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Dear Catastrophe Waitress
I'm sorry that you seem to have the weight of the world over you
I cherish your smile
There's a word of peace on you lips
Say it, and with tenderness I'll cherish you
Dear Catastrophe Girlfriend
Dear Catastrophe Girlfriend
I'm sorry if he hit you with a full can of Coke
It's no joke
Your face is bleeding
You'll soon be leaving this town to the clowns who worship
No one but themselves
No one but themselves

Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Dear Catastrophe Waitress
I'm sorry if the kids hold you in cool disregard
I know it's hard
Stick to what you know
You'll blow them all to the wall
When they realise what you've been working for
You've been working for

. . .



I wrote a letter on a nothing day
I asked somebody “Could you send my letter away?”
“You are too young to put all of your hopes in just one envelope”
I said goodbye to someone that I love
It's not just me, I tell you it's the both of us
And it was hard
Like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy
Someone above has seen me do alright
Someone above is looking with a tender eye
Upon your face, you may think you're alone but you may think again

Chorus:
If I could do just one near perfect thing I'd be happy
They'd write it on my grave, or when they scattered
my ashes
On second thoughts I'd rather hang around and
Be there with my best friend
If she wants me

And far away somebody read the letter
He condescends to read the words I wrote about him
And if he smiles, it's no more than a genius deserves
For all his curious nerve and your passion
I'm going deaf, you're growing melancholy
Things fall apart, I don't know why we bother at all
But life is good and “It's always worth living at least for
a while”

Chorus

If you think to yourself “What should I do now?”
Then take the baton, girl, you better run with it
There is no point in standing in the past cause it's over and done with
I took a book and went into the forest
I climbed the hill, I wanted to look down on you

. . .



Elope with me Miss Private and we'll sail around the world
I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?
How many nights of limping round on pagan holidays?
Oh elope with me in private and we'll set something ablaze
A trail for the devil to erase
San Francisco's calling us, the Giants and Mets will play
Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?
We hung about the stadium, we've got no place to stay
We hung about the tenderloin and tenderly you tell
About the saddest book you ever read
that always makes you cry
The statue's crying too and well he may

I love you I've a drowning grip on your adoring face
I love you my responsibility has found a place
Beside you and strong warnings in the guise of gentle words
Come wave upon me from the family wider net absurd
“You'll take care of her, I know it, you will do a better job”
Maybe, but not what she deserves

Elope with me Miss Private and we'll drink ourselves awake
We'll taste the coffee houses and award certificates
A privy seal to keep the feel of 1960 style
We'll comment on the decor and we'll help the passer by
And at dusk when work is over we'll continue the debate
In a borrowed bedroom virginal and spare

The catcher hits for .318 and catches every day
The pitcher puts religion first and rests on holidays
He goes into cathedrals and lies prostrate on the floor
He knows the drink affects his speed he's praying for
a doorway
Back into the life he wants and the confession of the bench
Life outside the diamond is a wrench

I wish that you were here with me to pass the dull weekend
I know it wouldn't come to love, my heroine pretend
A lady stepping from the songs we love until this day
You'd settle for an epitaph like “Walk Away, Renee”
The sun upon the roof in winter will draw you out like a flower
Meet you at the statue in an hour

. . .



When the half light makes for a clearer view
Sleep a little more if you want to
But restlessness has seized me now, it's true
I could watch the dreams flicker in your eyes
Lying here asleep on a sunbeam
I wonder if you realize you fascinate me so
Think about a new destination
If you think you need inspiration
Roll out the map and mark it with a pin
I will follow every direction
Just lace up your shoes while I'm fetching a sleeping bag, a tent...
Another summer's passing by
All I need is somewhere I feel the grass beneath my feet
A walk on sand, a fire I can warm my hands
My joy will be complete
I thought about a new destination
I'm never short of new inspiration
Roll out the map and mark it with a gin
Made my plans to conquer the country
I'm waiting for you to get out of your situation
With your job and with your life
All I need is somewhere I feel the grass beneath my feet
A walk on sand
A fire, I can warm my hands

. . .



I'm glad to see you
I had a funny dream
You were wearing funny shoes
You were going to a dance
You were dressed like a punk but you were too young to remember

Glad to see you
I'm outside the house
I'm not thinking right today
I've got no energy
I'm glad that you were waiting with me
Tell me all about your day

Breaking off is misery
I see a wilderness for you and me
Punctuated by philosophy
I'm wondering how things could've been

I'm happy for you
You've made it hard for me
I counted on your company
You were staying with your friends tonight
I'm feeling sorry for myself
I keep taking everything to be a sign

I'm happy for you
Now I know this hurt is poison
Too sharp to be bled
I'm sitting on my empty bed
I'm on my empty bed
At night the fever grows it's pounding pounding

I'd rather be in Tokyo
Id rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh
Watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku
There's something wrong with me, I'm a cuckoo

Scary moment, lovin' every moment
I was high from playing shows
We lost a singer to her clothes
My trouble raised its ugly head
I was revealed
And I was home in bed
I was a kid again

Jesus told me, go after every coin like it was the last in the world
And protect the wayward child
But I'm a little lost sheep
I need my Bo peep
I know I need my Shepherd here tonight

Breaking off is misery
I see a wildness for you and me
Punctuated by philosophy
I'm wondering how things could've been

Id like to see you
But really I should stay away
And let you settle down
I've got no claims to your crown
I was the boss of you
And I loved you
You know I loved you
It's all over now

I was there for you
When you were lonely
I was there when you were bad
I was there when you were sad
Now it's my time of need
Im thinking, do I have to plead to get you by my side?

I'd rather be in Tokyo
Id rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh
Watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

. . .



Since you went away, everything is looking great
I'm a little bored
When I see you out, maybe walking in the street
You always cross the road

Listen honey, there is nothing you can say to surprise me
Listen honey, there is nothing you can do to offend me anymore
You don't send me anymore

Our little scene is getting smaller by the day
It's a human zoo
But they key is change, getting over all your problems
You're not a fool

Listen honey, there is nothing you can say to surprise me
Listen honey, there is nothing you can say to offend me
You don't send me

Every sound is tame, every group the bleedin' same
It would make you mad
What happened to the sounds that left you lying on the floor
Laughing, crying, jumping, singing

Listen honey, there is nothing you can say to astound me
Listen honey, there is nothing you can do to offend me anymore

. . .



It was pretty bright upon the rainbow bridge tonight
I could see into your window although you're far away
You were racing in a car beside a boy you just don't know
If he is up for what you have in mind
If he is up for what you have in mind

Change is on the cards but this time it will be hard
I never want to leave you we've never had a fight
You should never split a book you should never split at all
I wish I had to, as I could follow
I write the ending without any sorrow

I will say a prayer just while you are sitting there
And I will wrap my arms around you cause I know it will be fine
We've got a fantasy affair, we didn't get wet, we didn't dare
Our aspirations, are wrapped up in books
Our inclinations, are hidden in looks

Summers hastening on, trying to get a feeling from the city
But I've been unfaithful, I've been traveling abroad
We've got a fantasy affair, we didn't get wet, we didn't dare
But the fantasy remains, you better come back to love again
Our aspirations, wrapped up in books

. . .



Anthony, bullied at school
Get your own back now you are cool
Or are you scared you're bunking off though you're a toff (?)
It's all gone wrong again, you've got Double Maths

But the teacher's got no control
The boys all run riot
"You all stay quiet or you will die"

Tony, the back of the gym
Smoke another one, your chances are slim,
'Cause here they come again
And they got you on the ground
You're tasting blood again
At least it's your own

When will you realise it doesn't pay
To be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys
"Shut your mouth, start kicking the football"
Bang on the teeth you are off for a week, boy (?)

You may as well take it in the guts, it could get worse
Just take it in the guts, it could get worse
Just take it in the guts, it could get worse
Just take it in the guts, it could get worse

Oh but hey, you'll soon be old enough to leave them all
And without a notion of a care
You'll leave two fingers in the air
To linger there

Tony, you're a bit of a mess
Melted Tolberone under your dress
But if the kids could see you they would pass you right by
Your blue mascara's running over your eye

Why don't you realise it doesn't pay
To be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys
"Shut your mouth, start kicking the football"
Bang on the teeth you were off for a week boy (?)

They call you Lord Anthony but hey, it could be worse
Lord Anthony but hey, it could be worse
Lord Anthony but hey, it could be worse
Lord Anthony but hey, it kind of suits you anyway

You'll soon be old enough to leave them there
Without a notion of a care
You'll leave two fingers in the air
To linger there

. . .



If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
Thank him for everything you know
You should thank him for every breath you blow

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
Thank him for every day you pass
You should thank him for saving your sorry ass

If you're single, but looking out
You must raise your prayer to a shout
Another partner must be found
Someone to take your life beyond
Another TV "I Love 1999"
Just one more box of cheapo wine

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above

But if you don't listen to the voices then my friend
You'll soon run out of choices
What a pity it would be (what a pity)
You talk of freedom don't you see (talk of freedom)
The only freedom that you'll ever really know (that you'll ever really know)
Is written in books from long ago
Give up your will to Him that loves you
Things will change, I'm not saying overnight
You've got to start somewhere

If you find yourself out of love
Shed a tear for the one you love
Tell your boss that you've gone away
Down your tools for a holiday
If you're going off to war then I wish you well
But don't be sore
If I cheer the other team (if I cheer the)
'Cause killing people's not my scene (not my scene)
I prefer to give the inhabitants a say (the inhabitants a say)
Before you blow their town away
I like to watch them play
I like to marvel at the random beauty of a simple village girl
Why should she be the one who's killed?


. . .



I wandered all night, I wondered all night about you
I've been here for years just wandering around the neighbourhood

Like a fresh manifestation of an old phenomenon
A breeze whips through the trees
The rustling leaves and branches bend together
They're cued to sway
Forever by the forces of the Lord's choreography
Just for a second the combination of sights, sounds around him
Sends him hurtling back to the mirror of all of his teenager thoughts and fears
He passes big houses and family cars
They saddled the horses in cobblestone yards
He catches the moon looking down from the stars
Just like it's done for years and years
Perpetual feeling in the grown up world that's all
Around him
That there's secrets that could be revealed with knowledge and philosophy
And “Oh to be dumb, Oh to be smart”
He might be nursing a broken heart
But feeling this way he's just playing a part
That's been around for centuries

I wandered all night, I wondered all night about you

. . .



I was choking on a cornflake
You said “Have some toast instead”
I was sleeping maybe three hours
You said “You should get to bed”
I was waiting at the church door
For the minister to show

I was looking at the new year
You said “Walk before you crawl”
I was feeling like a loser
You said “Hey, you've still got me”
I was feeling pretty lonely
You said “You wanted to be free”
I was looking for a good time
You said “Let the good times start”
With a quiver of your eyelid
You took on someone else's part

Maybe I'm a little greedy
You said “Think before you speak”
Sometimes I'm a little seedy
You said “Everyone is weak”
Now I feel a little better
Is there something I can do?

But I never heard the answer
I never had a clue
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose

There's a little echo calling
Like a miner trapped inside
If I tell her of this moment
She will in me doubts confide
And she's on me like a blanket
Like a stalk of wilting grass
I'm not sure about her motives
I'm not sure about her past

But my faith is like a bullet
My belief is like a bolt
The only thing that lets me sleep at night
A little carriage of the soul
If it starts a little bleaker
Then the year may yet be gold

Happiness is not for keeping
Happiness is not my goal
But what about me
I don't really see
How things will improve
If all you want is to stay loose

But what about them
You play mother hen
To a gaggle of gangling youth
All you want is to stay loose

I was living through the seconds
My composure was a mess
I was miles from tenderness
It was dark outside, the day it was lying in pieces
Everything is flat and dreary
I couldn't care what's in the news
Television is the blues
Television is hysterical laughter of people

And I know it could be me
I'm always asking for more
I keep running round in circles
I keep looking for a doorway
I'm going to need two lives

. . .


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