Bayside Album

It seems that you’re keeping me down and it just seems pointless to work this thing out and
what’s holding me back?
A lifelong friendship’s not worth this
I’ll hide this one deep underground
Convenience can comfort you now but the words that you said you can never take back and
I’m warning you now, when you realize you made a mistake I’ll be sure to kick you while you’re down. I gave you this gift, now I’m here alone and I’m paying for it
Our light’s almost out but I’ll smile again the day that you figure out…
I was all that you had

I'm trying to create something that's not there.
A spark I saw. A bomb is really just a means to an end.
I was just so happy to be out of my shell again,
don't think that I really cared for who or what.
I'll just have to keep myself shut.

If you're not ready, you're not ready.
Please stop acting like you are.

How could I know
that everything you say are lies about devotion and desire?
I know the spark inside your eyes
was just the match I used to set myself on fire.

My mouth's shooting blanks.
This situation's unbearable,
I've gotten vulnerable.
Now anyone is free to waltz right in.
My temple's been invaded
and there's nobody guarding it.
All over this lonely life,
but what's so wrong with being all alone?
Alone's the only way I've ever known.

If you're not ready, you're not ready.
Please stop acting like you are.

How could I know
that everything you say are lies about devotion and desire?
I know the spark inside your eyes
was just the match I used to set myself on fire.

I'm pleading cause this kills and it's still bleeding.
My darling I'm taking my life back to start healing.

How could I know
that everything you say are lies about devotion and desire?
I know the spark inside your eyes
was just the match I used to set myself on fire

I hate myself more than I ever let on
I’m burned out at 22
I lived too fast and I loved too much and I’ll die too young, but I chose this cup that I drank from
Knew what I was getting into. But I couldn’t let out what I had to keep in
I’m ashamed of myself and unspeakable sins that I’ve committed and…
I’ve made mistakes but I’ll find my way. No explanation for the things I’ve failed at before
They can’t hold my hand
It just hurts to be a man
Through the tortures of the damned. If I only had an axe I’d sever the ties I’ve made with the world
Maybe I can be a stranger in a strange place If I start now, maybe I can be saved
If I only had a mask, I’d cover these bleeding eyes
They’re bloodshot now but they’ll be black by dawn
If I wake up now I can be pure again
Look at me now, I’m on the tracks with my back towards the last train leaving town

I'm in over my head
From confidence to self doubt in 60 seconds
Storming stages and stereos from here to there, trying to prove that I belong
Trying to win approval from people that I don't know
And I look so strong when the weight of all the world don't take it's toll
I'd choose my sides if I believed in what was right, but I'm all wrong
I'm not larger than life, I'm not taller than trees
Do I mean what I say? I just have this disease where I never go home
I can never go home
Never telling the truth about how this life eats away
Not admitting I'm fake and I'm questioning whether this whole thing is worth it to die poor and all alone
Just don't tell me that this doesn't mean the world, cause my ears would bleed and my heart would hit the floor

It's getting cold
Thought it was too soon to tell but it was terribly old and as the heartbeat slows to a heartless crawl
The lights went out, The lights went out and darkness filled the house on tiring night under a Long Island sky
I thought I'd known the consequence, but sweetness, can you believe this? This mess we've made of it
This mess we've made of it
In years to come it might make sense, but sweetness, did you foresee this?
Just what's become of us?
What's become of us?
If you hear this and you think you're ready, then meet me in Montauk where we'll write out in the sand
Here lies the destiny of 2 hurt souls afraid to be cured again
That could be our epitaph

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor
My head against the wall
But I did this to myself
Assume it's just not worth getting back up, but I'll blame it on bad luck
I'll shake responsibility (and say a hard life did this to me)
I spent some time in a bad place at 18, wishing I could see something through clear eyes
Do you ever wake up to realize your life is meaningless?
Does it give you strength or lead you to your grave at a young age?
It seems that when I ran away from my past all my dignity, my faith, my pride got left back
And now I think it's time that I realize self pity's meaningless
Though I'm 10 feet deep, I'll claw my way back out from in my grave
But now I realize I'd give anything I have to walk a day in those old shoes
Wondering what my first smoke would be like, my first fuck, my next fuck up
Or the next band that would change my life and it changed my life

So let's just close our eyes and we'll talk in the morning, when we're able to feel the true weight of our words and why we're both here
At least we can say we tried and take comfort in knowing that if we both die alone tomorrow, it's just the way that the stars aligned
I hope we both learned our lesson
But we'll be ok
We both got what we wanted
I got sex and you tasted fame
So who used who now that you've got all new friends? But they don't know your name
So here you are, how's the big time darling? I hope I helped make your dreams come true
In a way I'm ashamed for not being your first or your last, just the first cool enough to admit to
I can hide by my reputation, while sadly you're making your own
A notch on your belt's not a notch worn so well, but it's expected of me and the lies that I tell

I'm so tired of the stupid games you play.
If I sat outside would you come watch me wait?
If I had a gun and shot it at your face,
would you promise not to get out of the way?

If you happen to be able to avoid
My first attack, I'll put a knife against your throat
and cut an inch for every time I lost my self-control
and you made me do the things I did at night when I got home

But I thought you'd change, but I realize today (today)

Evelyn, I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to stay away from me.
I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to die painfully.

So this brings us to the backup of my plan.
Maybe I'll just have to strangle you with my bare hands.
Then you'll have to adhere to my demands
and occupy a shallow grave, as shallow as you are.

But I thought they'd change but things just stayed the same..... (the same)

Evelyn, I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to stay away from me.
I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to die painfully.

Sometimes content leads to stagnant and stagnant leads to contempt.
Contempt leads to the present.
[x2]

But I thought you'd change, but I realize today (today)

Evelyn, I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to stay away from me.
I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to die

Evelyn, I know you lied. I want to tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to stay away from me.
[x2]

Drink up beautiful.
I spiked your cup with angst and a heart attack,
'cause I've got so much trapped
It's all because of you.
So I figured you might like some back.

And when I see her
I'll tell her what's been on my mind
all these sleepless nights.
She'll recite her excuses
Put my tail between these legs of mine
like I do all the time.

I can't live my life
knowing you'll be in his arms each time I blink my eyes.
Know what goes on behind my back every night,
afraid I'll never leave,
afraid I'll never know what's good for me.

And when I see her
I'll tell her what's been on my mind
all these sleepless nights.
She'll recite her excuses
Put my tail between these legs of mine
like I do all the time.

And now you say that,
you say you love me.
Well I may have your heart,
he has your body.
And now you swear that you're being honest,
but you're not honest,
and you never could be.

And when I see her
I'll tell her what's been on my mind
all these sleepless nights.
She'll recite her excuses
Put my tail between these legs of mine
like I do all the time.

I've been meaning to ask you how life looks from the nose bleed seats, and to ask you how it feels to bleed
Your life's a waste and the way that I'll ask it will have revenge woven throughout, but will be masked with the concern that a friend would bring
You're so incomplete
Hold a mirror to show just what you've become and read your diary to figure out where things went wrong
I don't think I'll ever understand, how a cowardly cat can call himself a man
You're all show and it's getting old
As for the rest of us, we'll do fine with what we have, making the best of what is left
And you're a naysayer who will never know what it's like to really have half a life
I've been meaning to harm you in the best way that I see fit
I'm not sure if this did the trick, but I think It did. Hold a mirror to show just what you've become and read your eulogy to figure out where things went wrong
I hope one day you understand that a girl on your arm won't make you a man
Keep walking down your shallow lonely road
It's dark and cold and it's yours and yours alone
If you dig too deep are you scared you'll find something? Spoonfuls of shit will surely add up. Inside you're begging for a cure for your disease
You're life's a crime scene and it wont help to blame it all on me

I'm never waking up again so I'll never have to find out what you did
Each day it's harder to pretend
That your eyes aren't lying as much as your mouth did
I'd grab your head by your hair and I'd hack it off
And put it on display at the front of the yard on a stick that's decorated with a little pink bow and a sign that says
Her friends and family should have taught her more about love
Dear Tragedy, I never had anybody. But being alone wasn't half as bad as being obsessed with a breath taker, a smile faker
But these years alone have eaten me alive. Recounting pages in a book
That I'd torn out ashamed that one day you'd look
Afraid that once you did you'd really know how it felt to be a sucker on a string that you dragged around wherever you'd go
I'm running around, around and it hurts. Tempted to tape up the pages I'd ripped
And although I recognize that we're attached at the lips ,you're the one in charge and that the captain's gotta sink with the ship
Breath taker, smile faker, how could I have let you in my life? You're a breath taker, smile faker
These years alone have eaten me alive