Arab Strap Album

i must have been missing the point for years. i used to love misery, heartbreak, and tears. but that's just a memory now you're sleeping here. and what's yours is mine. i wasted so long keeping hollow hearts dear. panicking, drinking when they disappear. and i'm not a prophet, no, i'm not a saint. but i think we'll be fine. but first we should set the scene with some songs that deafly describe the rights and the wrongs that led me to you and my unladen steer. it takes a few minutes but it's worth the wait.

We were lying in bed, staring at the moon
And I was wondering if I was supposed to be in love.
But we couldn't quite decide if the moon was full.
But I thought, well, tonight it's full enough.

And this morning I was casually trying to sniff my fingers on the way back home.
I could smell you and I felt like a little boy.
And we've been on these open seas far too long
So take a breath, take my hand, there's land ahoy.

So that was the first big weekend of the summer... Starts Thursday as usual with a canteen quiz and again no-one wins the big cash prize. Later I do my sound bloke routine by approaching Gina's new boyfriend to say that he shouldn't feel that there's any animosity between us and then I even go and make peace with her. I shouldn't have bothered. Then on Friday night we went through to the Arches...

There was only one car going, so some of us had to get the train. We got through quite late. Then we went to a pub to take the gear. There was no problems getting in - we saw some others waiting down the front of the queue so we skipped in. It was a good night, everyone was nutted and I ended up dancing with some blonde girl. I thought she had been quite pretty until last night when Matthew informed me that she had, in fact, been a pig. When the club finished we wandered the streets for a while until we got to this 24-hour cafe but I didn't like the look of it so we left and got a taxi back to Morag's flat. I couldn't sleep, so I sat about drinking someone else's strawberry tonic wine and tried to keep everyone else up.

Then at ten o'clock in the morning we went downstairs to buy some drink. We had intended to watch the football in the afternoon but we'd passed out by then and slept right through it, awaking to find that England had won two-nil. Then we went to get the train home and had a few in the Station bar. We had some stuff left from the previous night's supplies so when we got home we decided to go down to John's indie disco. Same story as Friday - lots of hugging, lots of dancing etc. etc. I couldn't sleep again so went up the park to look at the tomb, taking a detour through the playpark. To get in we had to climb over a ten foot steel fence, which resulted in severe bruising of our hands, legs and groins, but we had a good laugh on the stuff, especially the tube-slide, which probably doubles up as a urinal for drunk teens. Then we walked through the woods to have a look at the tomb. It was a big disappointment, but the mist on the lake was cool.

Sunday afternoon we go up to John's with a lot of beer in time to watch the Simpsons. It was a really good episode about love always ending in tragedy except, of course, for Marge and Homer. It was quite moving at the end and to tell you the truth my eyes were a bit damp. Then we watched these young girls in swimsuits have a water fight in the street. "Taping this, aye?" We went up to the pub about ten. It was busy for a Sunday night, lots of people we know, including my first ever girlfriend who I still find very attractive, quite frankly, but I didn't really speak to her. She's probably still a bitch, anyway. Her friend Gillian was there, I had a chat with her, she was still quite pleasant. At the same time I watched Malcolm make some terrible attempt to try and chat up a girl we know called Jo. He made some remark about her skirt that was barely there the previous night or something. I couldn't sleep again that night, thanks to some seriously disturbing nightmares...Matthew says I should cut down on the cheese.

"Went out for the weekend, it lasted for ever, high with our friends it's officially summer."

I got some sleep eventually on Monday afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and later that evening Malcolm introduced me to the power of Merrydown - ÂЈ1.79 a litre, 8.2% - mmmm..... Judith and Laura came round later and we sat in my back garden and drank. Then Matthew came round and we went up the town.

It's officially summer.

So I'm free again this summer
Cause you're playing with a plumber, with his own place and a car.
I don't care, I'm gonna be a pop star.

Well he can take you for a ride and he can buy you gifts and flowers.
I'm sure he's got a nicer body then me and maybe he can go for hours and hours.

But I wonder where you and him might be
When you see me on the cover of the NME.
After sell-out tours and a string of hits
And I'm snorting cocaine off a supermodel's tits.

My life is going my way. I saw you in the pub today.
And you look so ugly now. Since you turned into a shallow disco cow.

You're no longer my gilded shackle.
So I don't have to listen to your hideous cackle.
I couldn't give a toss what you do.
And by the way, have you found out I was two-timing you?

It must have been at least three years ago. I had a crush on this girl I didn't know. I thought it was a good idea at the time but I was pissed. I tried to find her by sending an ad into 'The List'. It was free 'cause they'd just started this brand new section. First I passed it on to my old friend Denise for her inspection. It said: "I saw you twice and both times you were wearing orange. And she told you I fancied you in the toilets at the garage." There was never a reply, perhaps it didn't astound her. That's assuming she ever saw it but I think I've found her. I thought it could've been her in a club on Saturday night. She was a couple of tables away and I thought it might be. But I was far too drunk, so an approach was out of the question. But this guy Stuart had sent us tickets to see his band Belle & Sebastian. We went along thoroughly drunk, stopped for a post-gig "Hello." And I think the girl I was looking for is friends with the girl who plays the cello. I think she's coming to see us when we play. And every time we meet I've got nothing to say. She probably thinks I'm cute, she maybe thinks I'm gay. She's probably got a boyfriend anyway. I remember the first time that I saw her, I was completely in awe. I thought, well that's the kind of girl that I would like to be my squaw. And if I could ever be the kind of brave that she would choose. We'd travel plains with our little baby turned in its little papoose. She starts fore sighting me in a public bar, my bird was in the bog. When she returned she said that she would like to give that girl a snog. And two weeks later we split up and a new lover I was seeking. And when I see that girl again I'm just never up for speaking. I think she's coming to see us when we play. And every time we meet I've got nothing to say. She probably thinks I'm cute, she maybe thinks I'm gay. She's probably got a boyfriend anyway.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

I adore her, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she made no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show.
I want to own her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.

And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She may adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Put them on a show there, we're getting nowhere.
She helps my snoring, so it never get's boring.

And she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.


I was awake, I overheard your speech, my ego dried and sank.
Talked with your ex and we agreed thoughts of your sister helped us wank.
I'm sure you know that I have fancied her since she began high school.
But park here now and I will promise, I will let your engine cool.

It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best shag I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.

I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd fuck anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

Sit by me silently and brush my beard.
No mess to mop up from the bed today.
Will we sit next door and watch the soaps?
We've nothing to do and we've nothing to say.
Oh, when you go...

Recently, we've been somewhat volatile
and last night it starts with that Joan Osbourne song.
I hate it anyway, but you made it worse.
I know why you laughed and you should know you were wrong.
Oh, when you go...

Bird number one taught me I shouldn't trust,
that's why I find unfounded doubts abound.
But number two proved that with none, we've nothing.
And now I'm only happy when you're not around.
Oh, when you go...

Have a look in the fridge and see what he's got. Get in the bath and I'll tell you the lot. We're grown men, we should be respectable. But to fuck with that, let's make a spectacle. Keep climbing, you'll see everything. Twice round the block, it's OK; say anything. We hide in toilets, we hide in a corner. But it's not over yet, so someone please warn her. I could try anything when I feel like this. With part-time friends that I could never miss. Spill the gossip, you know it's always topical. From where we sit tonight the city's tropical. Works begun, the taxi's late. I should feel like a hippie but all I feel is hate. Let them say what they want, they could never make it stick. 'Cause everyone takes a turn at being a dick.

Lost on Christmas Eve eve, he threw something down my neck. I didn't check what it was. When he says "Trust me," I never need to check. Then he helped me up, and the next thing I know we were lying naked and it had started to snow. So I was late for work - Hungover, dazed, and freezing. But we still made time to demonstrate how we'll wear it, come the season. Not a creature stirred. No mother, no mouse. But I still tip-toed down the hall and sneaked out of the house.

You always jump and quiver when you're coming in to land.
With no runway, no guidance, no nails dug into my hand.
We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school and see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking, the downside of what we take.
Some weekends I feel like I could always be awake.
A party in a strangers house, have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking and get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here but this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us. We might never sleep again.

Another bloated disco, another sniff of romance I'll forget. We promised to ourselves before we came out we'd do something we regret. These people are your friends, this cunted circus never ends. I won't remember anything you say. I lost my social skills a while ago but now I feel them coming back. My eyes were rolling when we met and now they are preparing for attack. I want to fall in love tonight and form the perfect unbreakable bond. You can be my teenage Jenny Agutter, swimming naked in a pond. You know I'm always moaning but you jump-start my serotonin. But how do you know you've ever really loved? But when I feel like this, I know it doesn't matter. When I eat when I'm not hungry, I'm sure I feel my face get fatter. Then I thin out every weekend and I think that she might want me. But I always slip off on my own âЂ?cause I let those feelings haunt me, they control me but tonight I'm letting go. You're more than just a photo album, you're more than what some people let you know and if we ever make it home, I'll tell you all the things that shaped me thus. Something forged in a phonebox but lost in a restaurant, we've got so much to discuss. Here, have you tried the blue ones? i hear he's got some new ones. Sleep is not an option tonight. Look at us just stand and stare, look at them just pose and pout, and we'll all be standing here until the pigs chuck us out.

I wish it was someone else's blood on the johnnie.
It's in my mouth and under my nails.
I wish I'd woken up in someone else's bed.
I wish I was the wind in someone else's sails.

I've no-one in particular in mind right now.
It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack.
I should have known you'd want to try again.
But I'm looking forward now. I'm not stepping back.

And my last lover's playing with a new man now.
It's only three weeks we've been apart.
They sat together and he sent her flowers.
Well he can fucking keep that fickle disco tart.

'Cause I've had it up to here with little girls.
She looked ugly today day, smoking a fag.
Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.

Where the words were once sweethearts
Now they're ugly violent thugs
How did our language come to this
We speak in grunts and sighs and shrugs
When we never let used to let
Just one spare moment go to waste
Now you're hardly ever here
And when you are you're bored and chaste

So when did you decide that I was vile?
I've tried and tried to talk
But talkings never been your style

You say you think we'll still be friends
But we both know that we wont
And your mates all laugh and smile
As if they know something I don't
And every night a taxi
Softly sweeps you up our street
You used to say you broke your phone
Now you don't care if you're descreet

So why wont you just tell me who was there?
There's a buzz about you now
There's something funny in the air

If there's no hope for use then there's no hope for anyone
What chance can they have if even you and me just can't have fun?
Was it so long ago our friends said we were disgraceful
But how could they ever know that we could be so unfaithful

You weren't wearing much of note
Just hold-ups and your long white coat
The elctric fire lit up your skin
As we whispered cos your mum was in
And as we went to use the phone
We noticed that we weren't alone
We just shrugged and let the pervert see
What he could only hope to be

But that was in the haze of new romance
When we floated hand in hand right through it's vague deceitful trance

If there's no hope for use then there's no hope for anyone
What chance can they have if even you and me just can't have fun?
Was it so long ago our friends said we were disgraceful
But how could they ever know that we could be so unfaithful

That's me then, I'm all packed you know I need some time to think
You just take what you think you'll need I think we both might need a drink
And the secrets that I keep you know I keep because I care
But if there's no hope left for use, well darling, let's just leave it there.

On the English Riviera with the penguins and the waders. In a chip shop on the front with the tacky seaside traders. In a flooded cottage kitchen by the fire that you built. In a B & B in Peebles, underneath a hired kilt. In Barnardo's, Cancer Research, in Shelton and Oxfam. In a quiet pub in Skipton, on a rusty Blackpool tram. The Pleasure Beach and Coral Island, at the end of the North Pier. On the moors with the wild ponies and the sheep shit and the deer. In a corner of the Sub Club. On the Art School's old dance floor. In the hall and in the bath, just outside the downstairs door. On a hillside in the Trossachs, on the busy NY streets, in a hotel by a park, it's written in the sheets. In the sand at Ilfracombe, halfway up the A82, the tallest cinema in Europe, standing sighing in the queue. The all-night garages of Glasgow, the freezing streets of Aberdeen, in every corner, every room and every bed we've ever been. That's where we've left our love.

I can't even escape you in my sleep when all I need is rest, knowing when I wake up I can't watch you get dressed and pretend I'm sleeping and imagine you with child. A suggestion often made by me and by you always reviled. I wanted to watch your body change and loosen all your clothes. To hold a new-born baby with your eyes and my nose. I suppose that was the first sign that you never really were mine. My twisted spine is aching now this bed's got so much space. In direct contrast to my mind which is cluttered with your face. You're the girl I loved before I fucked and that's so rare. So I'll help you leave your home while you decide if you still care. I really thought we never could end. Or at least I'd always be your good friend. But then I think about what you've done and his tongue pressed against your tongue. Your bodies together in our bed. His cock in your cunt, his cock in your head. And instead of a new platonic future for you and me I hope you get an abortion or at least an STD. When out with married friends I sat with them on the bus. I watched the way they were and that could never have been us. So the girl I loved before I fucked you'll always be. But the woman you've grown into is no woman for me.

[No lyrics]

Not everything must end
Not every romance must decend
Not every lovers pact decays
Not every sad mistake replays

If you can love my growing gut
My roting teeth and greying hair
Then I can gaurentee I'll do the same
As long as you can bare

If you love my little poofy hands
My skinny arms and reeking feet
The way I dance
The way I eat
If you love the morning spots
I try to squeeze before you're up to see
Each torn ankle
Each weak knee

But still my moods must swing
To solitude I must still cling
And you won't love me every day
And suffer many a display

My plates may smash and doors may slam
My comments might be less than kind
But that won't mean I've changed my mind
I'm a huffy prick the best of times
I love to sulk and shout and squeel
But please don't doubt the way I feel

Cos when the sun burns up the earth
Our progeny will raise a can
Here's to where It all began
And everyday I hear the world is cracking up
The end is near
I hear we all should live in fear

Bullys, burglers, peadophiles, bird flu and passive smoke
(They're coming)
Volcanos, earthquakes, tidal waves, heart disease and strokes
(They're coming)
Terrorists with home-made poisons, factions everywhere
(They're coming)
They're drinking in the street and they could steal your name
And I don't care