The Orb
"Slug Dub"

[Thomas]
Aww... slugs again!

[Samuel the Narrator]
Yes, there were the slugs. Babies, mothers, and grandmothers, besides enormous great fat slugs, all eating away at the juicy leaves.

[Mother]
Oh Thomas, let's set some traps--some slug traps--and catch them all.

[Samuel the Narrator]
Did those slugs walk into the traps? No, not one. They just laughed their slimy laugh...

[Slugs]
Huh-huh, huh-huh...

[Samuel the Narrator]
... and went on eating the juicy lettuces.

[Mother]
Oh deary me, what shall we do? There'll be no lettuce left when little Tim comes home.

[Thomas]
I know! I've got a good idea. I'll shoot those varmints!

[Mother]
Thomas!

[Thomas]
I will! I'll shoot them!

[Samuel the Narrator]
Thomas crept very carefully up the lettuce patch and fired his little gun. [POP! POP!] But did the slugs mind?

[Slugs]
Huh-huh...

[Samuel the Narrator]
No, not they. They laughed more than ever in their slimy way.

[Slugs]
Huh-huh, huh-huh...

[Samuel the Narrator]
And they ate up all the peas, and then they turned about and went on eating the lettuces.

[Mother]
Thomas, how are you getting on? We shan't have any lettuce when little Tim comes home.

[Samuel the Narrator]
They hopped sadly down along the passage into the kitchen of their house... and then Mariah had arrived. [ZAP!]


[Interlude]


[Slugs]
(Squealing.)

[Samuel the Narrator]
The greedy slugs raised their heads to listen. They waved their bodies joyously, and laughed their slimy laugh.

[Slugs]
Huh-huh! Hear the sweet music at our feast. Hear the sweet music while we eat.

[Samuel the Narrator]
And then they laughed again happily in their slimy way...

[Slugs]
Huh-huh, huh-huh...

[Samuel the Narrator]
... and went on eating lettuces.


[Interlude]


[Slugs]
Huh-huh...

[Mother]
There won't be even a nibble of lettuce when our little Tim comes home! (Sniffles.)

[Samuel the Narrator]
Suddenly, a voice called out, and out rushed Tim, hopping and skipping and turning somersaults as he came towards his father and mother.

[Tim]
Hello, hello! I brought a friend! Oh... what's the matter?

[Samuel the Narrator]
The slugs are eating all the lettuce, Tim.

[Tim]
Oh hey there, Samuel! My friend Brush has just been wondering if you'll have meat for supper. Why is it we only had lettuces, didn't I, Brush?

[Brush]
Ask Tim! I, uh, think I can help you... if you allow me, sir. Just watch me! (Starts whistling.)

[Samuel the Narrator]
He gobbled up the slugs faster than you could count--baby slugs, mother slugs, grandmother and great-grandmother slugs--before they had time to take to their slimy heels. Mariah and Thomas stood and watched in wonder at his huge appetite.

[Thomas]
Ho-ho-ho-hooo! Come and have supper with us whenever you like, Mr. Brush.

[Tim]
Oh, he will. Mr. Brush!

[Thomas]
Yes! Get in.

[Brush]
(Whistles.)