Dean Martin
"The Money Song"

If you got it you don't need it
If you need it you don't got it
You don't get shame on you
Funny funny funny what money can do

Them that have it get more of it
Less they need it the more they love it
And it sticks to them like glue
Funny funny funny what money can do

Ask the rich man he'll confess
Money can't buy happiness
Ask the poor man he don't doubt
But he'd rather be miserable with than without

If you spend it please be wiser
If you save it you're a miser
You don't want it you're cuckoo
Funny funny funny what money can do

(JL) La la money
(DM) Oh shut up Jerry what are you doing
(JL) I'm singing (DM) This is singing
(JL) Don't you like it (DM) No I don't like it you want to sing with me
(JL) Can I sing with you (DM) Sure you can
(JL) All right

(DM) If I do not need it badly
(JL) Folks will give it to you gladly
(DM) But I need it
(JL) Nuts to you
(DM) Funny funny funny what money can do

(DM) If I am lucky and I make it
(JL) You'll be frightened (D) But who can take it
(JL) The Internal Revenoooooooo
(DM) Funny funny funny what money can do

(DM) Birds don't got it still they sing
(JL) Eating winds up on the wing
(DM) Ideal lives some folks affirm
(JL) So OK you're a bird but suppose you're a woman
(DM) It's a bad thing oh yes very
(JL) For the germs and sanitary
(DM) Will you have some (JL) Oh thank you
(Both) Funny funny funny what money can do

...mumble jumble...

(DM) If I got it (JL) Who's got it (DM) I don't need it (JL) But I need it
(DM) If you need it (JL) And I need it (DM) You don't got it (JL) But I want it
(DM) You can't get it shame on you (JL) What can I do
(Both) Funny funny funny what money can do
(DM) Them that have it (JL) Where'd they get it (DM) Get more of it (JL) Can they keep it
(DM) The less they need it (JL) Who don't need it (DM) The more they love it (JL) And how they love it
(DM) And it sticks to them like glue (JL) Boo hoo
(Both) Funny funny funny what money can do
(Both) Money money we love you
(Both) Funny funny funny you can do