Dane Cook
"Head"

You always want head. We love it. We always have to watch, right.
Right. And if you've got a lot of hair we fucking turn into Vidal Sasoon
all of a sudden. We got like scrunchies, banana clips comin out of nowhere.
Hairspray *SSS* Good. Good. Front row seats. I like that with the lips.
The thing you're doing with the lips is good.

You know what's so weird. Why does this happen?
This is a weird thing. Phenomanon. Right, sometimes guys,
you're having sex, right. And everything's going great.
Everything's you know-. Right.
All of a sudden you hear like a voice comes into our... our brains.
Starts telling us to say shit like... Yeah say that! Say that!
That's perfect! Say that right now. Right, and you're like Yeah.
I'll fucking say that. You just grab her hair and you whisper...eghhh.
You don't even think about it. Just say it ya fucking say say things.
You hear what I say? You like that huh? Right, you say- but sometimes
you say some shit and you think of it like two hours later and you're
like "What the fuck was I talking about?!" And you get like embarrased.
I was with a girl recently, right. I was totally just in the zone.
Out of nowhere I was like...
"Uh yea my dick feels like corn!"
Sounded good at the time!
She didn't even miss a beat she was like
"Give me the butter baby give me the butter!"
*punch*
Come on Orville Redenbacher... pop that pussy.
*punch*

We should just have an orgy right here right now.
Let's just turn off the fucking lights and everybody just feel around!
Let's turn off the lights and play a game called uh
"Who's in my Mouth?"
What did you say? Careful? What are you like my lifeguard?
Careful... careful Dane! What are you spotting my jokes?
Careful, careful...